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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not claim EMA for ds?

26 replies

ssd · 24/03/2015 09:13

we are on a low income and are eligible for ds to receive EMA, worth £30 a week

but I'm not telling him that

he has a part time job just now earning roughly that amount, some weeks he earns nil though

I feel its better for him to work than for us to claim EMA and give it to him

I'm not sure if he'd still want to get out of bed at 8 on a Saturday for his thirty quid if he could get it just for going to school

he's not a boy who is greedy for money, he doesn't seem to want much material things

Am I being a mug here?

my gut says make him work, and learn that work needs done. he's 16

OP posts:
Dawndonnaagain · 24/03/2015 09:15

I didn't know it was still available, it isn't here.

EatDessertFirst · 24/03/2015 09:16

Maybe claim it and save it for him? It seems silly not to take advantage of it if it could help him in the future.

Spartak · 24/03/2015 09:16

Get him to claim it and stick it in a savings account. Will be useful for a rental deposit, towards his first car etc later on.

meglet · 24/03/2015 09:16

it's brilliant that he's working and I'd want him to keep up with it. can you claim the ema and put it aside, might be needed for a laptop / driving lessons in a few months time.

manicinsomniac · 24/03/2015 09:16

I don't know what EMA is but if your son doesn't need it then I agree, don't bother claiming it.

However, it sounds like your son is at least a teenager, if not an adult?
If so, I think it should be his decision to make, not yours.

Micah · 24/03/2015 09:17

Can he have both? Or does he need to give up work to be eligible?

Is it paid to him or to you?

If you get it regardless claim and put it away for him, uni, flat deposit, to celebrate getting a full time job.

Maybebaby2015 · 24/03/2015 09:18

Personally I think ywbu. Surely he should have a say in this? He could save that money, or in fact use it for what it is meant for, travel to and from college and for college supplies

CuttedUpPear · 24/03/2015 09:19

I thought it had been phased out.
When my DD used to get it, it went direct to her bank account and paid for school lunches and bus fares.
The idea behind it was that it gave parents a break from paying for these things, enabling teens to continue in education without the pressure of them having to leave school to find work.

meglet · 24/03/2015 09:21

if it goes straight to him then maybe I wouldn't then.

seriouslypeedoff · 24/03/2015 09:23

I would claim it and save it. I get where you are coming from about the fact that he will prob just quit his job and be no better off. But it could help in the future.

Muchtoomuchtodo · 24/03/2015 09:24

It it could be claimed on his behalf and saved, then that's what I'd do.

Littlemonstersrule · 24/03/2015 09:24

I thought it had been scrapped too.

I think it's great he earns rather than claims but given he doesn't know about it its not a choice he is making knowing all the facts. It would have been better if he had actively chosen to decline it and work instead as that sort of ethic would stand him well going into adulthood.

Of course many would take the easy life option, just like many adults do with top up benefits. It's down to the person and their morals as to which call they make.

UghReally · 24/03/2015 09:24

If he is eligible for EMA I presume he's in college.
Don't tell him if you dont want to but if he finds out from a friend etc then let him claim, Don't put a spanner in the works.

ilovechristmas1 · 24/03/2015 09:28

i thought it was scrapped

Shakirasma · 24/03/2015 09:33

It was scrapped in England. Scotland, Wales and NI still have it.

Cheers for that Dave.

AugustRose · 24/03/2015 09:35

EMA was scrapped as far as I am aware.

The new system is that you have to claim a bursary from the place of study (in our case through the sixth form), it has 3 levels based on the parents income and isn't automatic.

It is managed differently at each location - my DN gets a weekly amount for her bus fare. DS has had his bus paid for direct to the council (as still school transport) and any other claims for study equipment, educational trips and uni visits we have to pay for first them claim back.

Original poster
ssd · 24/03/2015 10:06

its still available where we live and as far as I know its paid directly to him, thats why i dont want to start claiming it, although I know he's a good boy I think he'd start to see it as easy money and the need to work would lessen...

OP posts:
traceybaybee · 24/03/2015 10:14

Im in scotland and can still claim it here as my 16yr old wee sister has just been told to start her application process

tabulahrasa · 24/03/2015 10:20

It's paid directly to him, because it's his to claim, not yours.

ILovedYouYesterday · 24/03/2015 10:24

That's £3K over the two years. A lot of money for him to miss out on.

Claim it and encourage him to save it. Have him open a new savings account and have it paid into that so he doesn't really see it. Or do it the other way round and use the EMA for his day to day money and save his earnings. Either way he could have £3K saved up at the end of his two years in college which would be a massive help to him if he goes to uni or whatever he decides to do.

At 16, I would say it's his choice. I'd have been gutted if my parents had not told me about something like this.

cozietoesie · 24/03/2015 10:29

All his eligible friends will be getting it and the school will doubtless be giving out information to students as well so there's no way he won't hear about it.

I think it's something to discuss with him? Passing up that amount of money is just plain daft.

avocadotoast · 24/03/2015 10:35

I used to get EMA and worked at the same time. If I was your son, I'd be seriously pissed off!

Maybe have a chat with him about it and make a deal that some of it gets put aside into a savings account? (I wish someone had done that with me actually, considering I spent all my money on smoothies, cardigans and beer... Blush)

avocadotoast · 24/03/2015 10:37

Oh and also, if the system's the same as it used to be, your son will know he's eligible for it. All you need is as rough idea of what your parents earn and you can figure it out.

justbatteringon · 24/03/2015 10:40

It's not your decision it's his. it's also his money to do what he wants with not yours.

dogfish12 · 04/10/2017 18:06

It hasn't been phased out at least not here in Wales.

But try getting it without grief.

Documents sent go missing, letters rebound back and fore like boomerangs.

Many parents are complaining about here so its not just me.

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