AIBU to think that midwives should be able to give appointment times

[SweetPeaSoup]

...even if they have to cancel them at the last minute due to being needed elsewhere?

I'm booked for a home birth in May, and before being handed over to the home birth team, the midwife I was seeing at the surgery told me that home birth midwife appointments (you know, for blood pressure / wee test etc etc) would be on Saturdays.

I requested an appointment for my next check and I've now been told that they don't give appointment times because it depends on their workloads on the day, and asked whether I could be available on a weekday (I work full time).

I know that employers have to give reasonable time off for antenatal appointments (and mine would without question), but surely it's not reasonable for me to be absent for an entire day on the off-chance that I might get to see a midwife? Also, I'm running out of time before baby arrives - I don't have entire weekend days that I can just write off either.

AIBU to want an appointment time, even if it has to be broken by a call-out? My DH thinks that I shouldn't ask again for a specific time, and instead just agree to wait around for a whole day for every appointment 'to avoid making an enemy of a midwife'. It may be my hormones, but I don't think it's reasonable.

Auntie Dee, maternity care is not only the birth... Yes, if you take 50 women a year you average a birth a week, but also antenatal visits (at clinic), postnatal visits (in the women's home), a potentially unlimited number of blood tests, urine tests and swabs, emergency calls, and add to that mandatory education (workshops, meetings, forums), college commitments, and the ton of paperwork you have to do with every woman. I can assure you there is not much free time left!

Huh? This is weird. I see one HB midwife. I get appointment times.

I have one to one midwife care all appointments at home on the nhs and they manage to give a time. Yes they have to cancel if called out but otherwise they are pretty punctual.

I used to work in this exact team and managed to see people at home on time. It really isn't difficult. So YANBU they need to sort out their working practices.

I think YANBU - what's wrong with saying morning or afternoon?

When I had one of my dc, they said the community midwife would come to my home. I asked when. I got yelled at because I could not be expected to be given a time. I actually meant what day, which I think was a reasonable question, and said as much to the HCA who had already told me off for having the "wrong" towel, for requesting pain relief following a 2nd degree tear, for asking where I might find breakfast etc etc. She humphed and walked off.

Yanbu

I had appt times for my care, sometimes they were cancelled with no notice or ran very late but I had times.

Once the baby is born they are more vague which makes sense if you're on mat leave.

But telling people who work full time they need to take while days out is utterly unreasonable. Work has to give time, that is time for appts and travel. It is not fair on the employee or the employer to have this system.

And in all honesty some women are not going to have appts due to the negative impact it will have with their jobs. In real life most employers would find this baffling, possibly unbelievable, and it might sour the relationship.

Honestly this is just a terrible idea and I actually don't understand what they think they're doing

Yanbu
But i would see diff mw at clinic. What a waste of fuel and time driving to each pg woman.
And it wouldnt just be 1 weekend you have like 8 appts.

I would be glad to have time not in work hrs but not waiting all day.
I think the key is reasonable time for appts so not all day for a 20min appt

This is a really bizarre system. For my home birth, all my antenatal checks were with the community midwife at my GP's practice. I had one home visit with a community midwife at around 36 weeks where they ran through my plans, brought out some of the home birth supplies and did my usual antenatal checks but all subsequent appointments were back in the clinic. I always had appointment times. My employers were great but wouldn't have taken kindly to me taking a whole day off work, YADNBU.

If you have loads of stuff to do round the house book for a Saturday and schedule to do all the house stuff that day so you will be in doing stuff anyway.

Or ask for it to be any time after 4 pm so you can just take reasonable time at the end of the day - then you can chill at home or do stuff that needs doing while you wait.

Thanks everyone! Your responses have been interesting, and it's good to read the different view points.

I managed to get the midwife to narrow it down to 'some time after 12', but they really didn't want to agree to it.

Of course I'm grateful to live in a country where I can contribute into a health care system that is free at the point of delivery! I still think it's unreasonable to expect me to have to pitch up at work and announce that I'm going to be out of the office for an entire day because of a half hour (or whatever) antenatal appointment. All sorts of appointments have to be cancelled or delayed at the last minute, and these probably more than most, but that's life and I completely understand and accept that any appointment with the midwives would be subject to that. However, my employer is just not going to be willing to accept losing an entire day when it could be narrowed down (as it now has been after some discussion).

As an aside, I've now been told that if another woman goes into labour at the same time as me, I won't be able to have a home birth. My response was that I will be having a home birth unless there is a reason to call an ambulance for a transfer, and whilst I'd like to be attended by a midwife, I'm not going to risk delivering at the roadside by getting someone to drive me in. I fear my card may now be marked

YANBU
They have mobile phones
Why can't they text the mums on their list to say 'you my third appointment - will probably see you mid morning'. It's hardly rocket science.

No that's them trying to manage you. If they say that's ort of thing ring AIMS and they will advise you. If you're booked for a home birth stand by your guns.theybwould get in trouble if you stayed at home without a midwife so it's their responsibility to be properly staffed

Try working with them rather than against. No doubt they would love you to have a safe home birth and full antenatal care at mutually convenient times. Modern midwifery just isn't like that anymore which probably makes your midwife sadder than it does you. She's having to chase her tail and disappoint her clients every single day.

She is right to warn you of the risk that another client could be in labour at the same time which would mean advising you to come to the hospital. What else could she do if there simply isn't a midwife to send? Without knowing your circumstances it's hard to predict whether you'd be better off at home alone but it's doubtful unless you are so remote you couldn't possible get there ( if so it may be advisable to stay nearer the hospital anyway as happens in some places).

Home birth midwives want a warm, supportive relationship with you. Having met you at home once it may well be possible to arrange further appointments at the surgery. And whoever posted up thread about why should they visit at home, it's for perfectly sensible safety reasons.

Good luck I hope you get the birth you hope for but above all think safety.

I go to the clinic but also have consultant appointments, my choice as I don't trust the service in my area so have chosen this option. If not it would be a home visit with rough time slot given. It used to be appointments at GP/
Sure start centres but changed at some point in the last couple of years.

Surely for antenatal appointments it is more time effective to arrange all appointments to be at a clinic, half a midwives time must be taken up driving from house to house rather than with the patients? Obviously postnatal home visits are different.

You can't really compare NZ care to the UK, I'm sure that recent population stats were that there was the same amount of people living in London alone as there is in NZ as a whole!

Sorry I meant to say regardless of whether I wanted a home or hospital birth the antenatal appointments would be done at your home.

Despite what AIMS says, if there is no midwife available to attend a HB, then there is no obligation to send one and you'll be advised to make your way into the unit. It's up to you if you go into hospital but you can't force them to magic a midwife out of thin air. However this is very unlikely to happen so I wouldn't stress, it's an unusual occurrence.

Thanks everyone! I'm classed as low risk (obviously that may change), and this is my second DC. My first labour was 1hr 45m including a second stage of 5m. I'm not particularly remote (South East England), but I think that by the time I realise I'm in labour and get someone over for DC1, DH may not be able to get home to take me to hospital in time to deliver there. As the risk of a poor outcome is around about the same with hospital v home birth, this is why I'm intent on a homebirth if possible.

I'm not a particularly confrontational person, but I know what my body did last time, and I'm not prepared to risk a roadside delivery. I'm going to wait and see what the midwives say at their visit - the remark could have been an off the cuff comment, but if it's repeated, then I will get in touch with AIMS.

Not sure I'd trust a midwife (or group of) who were so vague.

3 in 10 births in this country are at home (so lots of homebirths), all normal pre-natal care is given by midwives (so lots of non birth-related tasks for them) and they seem to manage to stick to appointments.

The Dutch are very prompt though, generally speaking. Words like "some time after 12" would be a hanging offense.