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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

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Original poster

To be considering sectioning my sister?

19 replies

phoenixrose314 · 23/03/2015 16:57

I know this should probably go in Mental Health but I am feeling panicky and put this here for traffic.

My family all have a long history of depression. My nan had it, my mum had it (and was sectioned when my sister was 13 months old), I had postnatal depression and depressive tendencies as a teenager, and my sister right now is in a total depressive spiral. She has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder and avoidant personality disorder. She is on long-term sick at work, her husband has just lost his job too, they have a MASSIVE amount of debt (to my parents, to me, on top of household bills - we are not expecting to ever get the money back) and I am relatively certain they are just burying their heads in the sand and sinking... just sinking.

Today I visited a blog site my sister and I used to frequent as teenagers - I don't even know why. And it turns out, she still has a blog, and her latest entry was on the front page list of most recent entries. My heart stopped before I even read it - being on this site itself is a bad sign. I read the entire thing and have been crying on and off for the last hour.

I don't know what to DO. She infers that she tried to kill herself at the end of January. Didn't even have a clue. I feel physically sick, and I'm in two minds to go over there and talk to her and tell her everything I've seen and how panicked I'm feeling, or to just carry on as normal and somehow help her subtly.... but to be fair I don't even know HOW to help. I looked up how to section someone - but don't know where to begin or whether doctors would even think her case is serious enough. And could I section her, being her sibling and nowhere near her closest kin? She has been to the doctors and is on medication that pretty much just makes her lethargic and sleep for most of the day. She was having counselling but that faded into nothing (six weeks I think), none of us have any money to send her to a psychiatrist, I just don't know what to do!

Please help. Please, give me something I can do to help her. She's my only sibling, my little sister, it's my job to look after her and I feel I am failing miserably. If she commits suicide I know I will never recover.

This is the link to her blog. [Please note - link removed by MNHQ]

OP posts:

TheWitTank · 23/03/2015 17:01

I completely understand your fears
I do think you should ask for her blog link to be removed though. It's very identifying for her and I'm not sure she would be overly happy about mn diagnosing and discussing her mental health issues.

runningforfreedom · 23/03/2015 17:05

phoenixrose314

Hi I am a registered nurse who works in a setting mostly with people with mental health issues.
Firstly my advice is to speak to her with her husband present. See how much she is willing to open up about what is going on. Is she taking her medication properly? Was she previously coping? She needs to speak to her GP. A person can only be sectioned if they are psychotic, in other words immediately in danger of injuring themselves or others. You won't know if that is the case without speaking to her, and having her seen by her GP.
Her blog should not be ignored, and should be taken seriously, but do bear in mind what people are willing to say on a blog and then actually do can be two very different things. That isn't to say it 100% is.
Is she with anyone at the moment? If she refuses to see her GP then her husband needs to contact the GP as her next of kin and discuss this with them.
Obviously long term, other changes need to be in place for her to be stable. Their financial issues need to be resolved, whether that is declaring bankruptcy, or finding another solution. But immediately this exacerbation of her mental illness definitely needs to be addressed. Her GP should have all details of previous treatment/assessments so should take you seriously

Original poster

phoenixrose314 · 23/03/2015 17:05

How do I ask for it to be removed?

OP posts:

Fanfeckintastic · 23/03/2015 17:08

Please ask for that link to be removed, that's out of order but I understand you're panicking.

DawnOfTheDoggers · 23/03/2015 17:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HirplesWithHaggis · 23/03/2015 17:11

Click on "report" above your first post, and ask MNHQ to remove the link. (I've already done it, but it'll sound better coming from the OP.)

BabeRuthless · 23/03/2015 17:11

Get in touch with Mumsnet HQ and explain you want to edit your post. I can report it for you if you like.

cozietoesie · 23/03/2015 17:14

MNHQ have already fixed it, OP.

MNHQ

DawnMumsnet · 23/03/2015 17:23

Hi phoenixrose,

We've removed that link for you now.

Here's a link to our Mental Health webguide - hopefully you'll find help for your sister from some of the organisations listed there.

We also have a page dealing with teenage mental health issues which may be of use.

for you, and your sister.

littlejohnnydory · 23/03/2015 17:28

runningforfreedom, it is not true that a patient can only be sectioned if they are psychotic. A person can be sectioned if two approved professionals are of the opinion that the person poses a risk to themselves or others. That is not what psychotic means. OP, sectioning is very much a last resort when a person is in immediate danger and will not consent to treatment. P

OP, I understand you are panicking. First thing to do would be to have a chat with your sister and express your concern. Don't start going behind her back unless you absolutely have to, it will completely undermine her trust in you and be deterimental to the whole situation. Try to persuade your sister to seek help for herself. Perhaps she is already?

If you're very co ncerned about her immediate safety, you can contact her gp. The gp will speak to you and listen but won't be able to discuss your sister with you.

SaucyJack · 23/03/2015 17:29

I'm sorry for what you are both going through, but you would be most unreasonable to try and have her sectioned on the basis of a blog which probably wasn't for your eyes anyway.

Have you tried talking to her about how she's feeling?

frikadela01 · 23/03/2015 17:34

Mental health nurse with a bit Of advice re the mental health act.
for someone to be sectioned you require 2 doctors to make medical recomendations. One of the doctors needs to be previously aquainted with the person (gp usually) and one needs to be section 12 approved (a psychiatrist basically). What happens then is either a social worker or the nearest relative makes an application to a hospital using the recommendations. Nearest relative is not the same as next of kin. It is very clearly defined in the mental health act who a nearest relative is. For your sister this would be her husband.

You need to sit down and talk with her as previous posters hAve said. the blog may be one of her coping mechanisms that looks worse than it really is.

runningforfreedom · 23/03/2015 17:41

littlejohnnydory I didn't explain all that well. I did also say a person who is deemed to be at risk to themselves or others can be sectioned. I mentioned psychosis as most patients who are sectioned do have an element of psychosis. I was trying to emphasise that someone does have to be seriously unwell to be sectioned as it is removing a huge amount of their rights, it's a very very serious thing. I am aware of what psychotic means
I work in police custody and see people sectioned regularly

beepbeep · 23/03/2015 17:48

If she is in a public place and fear for her safety or that of others the police can detain her under the mental health act, she would the be seen by a medical profession & if deemed necessary, sectioned.

Notrevealingmyidentity · 23/03/2015 17:54

Presumably as she made a suicide attempt her doctors will already be aware ?

Talk to her ?

You can't have someone sectioned just because they have attempted suicide previously.

I'd be finding out exactly what treatment she is having right now and wether she is taking her medication/if she feels it is working and go from there.

Notrevealingmyidentity · 23/03/2015 17:56

Whether *

From the sound of it she is having treatment at the moment and is engaging with professionals so I doubt anyone would section her. Unless she tried to harm herself.

Feckeggblue · 23/03/2015 18:01

I know you're incredibly worried but sectioning someone is very serious - you're taking away their freedom. I can't see the blog obviously but there doesn't seem to be anything in your post which implies urgency.

I would have a good chat with her, find out what support she's getting now and offer your support.

I hope you find things are brighter than they were in January

Original poster

phoenixrose314 · 23/03/2015 20:09

Thank you all for your replies. I'm sorry if my post was a bit all over the place - I guess I thought she was getting better and then reading her most recent posts made it glaringly obvious that actually it's worse and she thinks about ending her life as a genuine possibility, although it's not the choice she's making right now. It was the way she spoke about it as though it was a way out, almost the only solution - I freaked out.

I have tried talking to my sister but she is extremely avoidant about the situation, especially when talking to me, almost like she just wants things to be "normal" and we usually end up reminiscing and laughing... hence why I was led to believe she was feeling a little better.

My parents have offered to take her to get proper help, to apply for counselling, and she agrees it's a good idea but as soon as it comes to actually doing it, she can't face it. Her medication doesn't seem to be making her better, just reducing her to a constant state of melancholy and lethargy.

I do agree with all your advice that talking to her is better than sectioning - I totally overreacted because I was panicking, I'm sorry. I will try to see her as soon as possible and talk to her about what's going on in her head and what she feels she needs.

I think I find it hard because I give her so many opportunities to talk to me about how she feels and all I get is avoidant behaviour. I want to help but feel so useless.

OP posts:

SaucyJack · 23/03/2015 23:18

Maybe you are helping her by being someone she can be "normal" with?

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