Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

Are you more or less offended when viewing swear words on the Internet than in Real Life?

23 replies

ClumsyNinja · 23/03/2015 11:11

I understand that some people will be very offended when swear words such as cunt and fuck are used.

I also know that telling someone to 'bugger off' is just seen as banter where I grew up but in other places I've lived, people get seriously upset and you'd think I'd actually said 'Fuck off' to their face. (To me the two phrases are completely different).

I rarely use proper swear words in real life unless I hurt myself.

My understanding of MN rules is you can swear providing it's not directly at another poster. Realistically, I can't see MNHQ mods reading every single post so threads that are not really kicking off but contain a few choice phrases from a particular poster that no-one bothers to report won't be hassled. But if a poster chooses to report them, MNHQ has to be seen to act?

As a moderator of a small forum for a specific profession, lots of 'iffy' posts don't get moderated but if a post gets reported, the rules require that it has to at least be checked out by a moderator.

I've noticed in recent times that a lot of reports we receive aren't from the person being hassled in the particular thread but by another member who isn't involved in the thread at all.

They're taking offence on someone else's behalf!

So in an Internet forum such as MN, am I OK to tell someone to bugger off or feck off or is this never OK in your opinion and would you ever report a post that isn't actually aimed at you?

OP posts:

Pagwatch · 23/03/2015 11:14

Swearing and swearing at someone are two different things entirely.

I don't object to swearing in an adult environment. I dislike aggressive swearing in real life more than on line.

richthegreatcornholio · 23/03/2015 11:21

I don't object in either circumstance. I use fuck and cunt regularly in daily conversation.

DuchessofNorks · 23/03/2015 11:22

I don't take offence on anyone else's behalf on or offline. However being called a C*nt on an internet forum feels entierly different than having it spat at you in real life.

It depends on the context of the conversation though. My friends and I swear and 'insult' each other frequently and jokingly. However, if someone was having a serious argument with me and called me a slut, I would be fuming.

yogeek · 23/03/2015 11:43

In some company it can be quite funny to swear or say certain things which wouldn't be acceptable in other situations. It all dépends on the tone and how well everybody knows each other and what is expected.

In our town (in France) there is a radio station called FGM (Fucking Good Music). I just really feel uncomfortable with that! I know I'm showing my age or something. I think to myself, that wouldn't have been allowed a few years ago!

I don't swear much myself but swearing on here doesn't really offend me because it's all in a jokey spirit and feels quite liberating in a way.

LadyGregory · 23/03/2015 12:19

You sound as if you're confusing the random use of 'swear words' with actually swearing at someone. There's a difference between saying 'I wish my friends would shut up about Forever fucking Living' and telling another poster to fuck off.

Mamus · 23/03/2015 12:28

I don't find swearing offensive.

sliceofsoup · 23/03/2015 12:28

It would be difficult to not be offended if someone was spitting swear words in your face.

To me, online is more detached. If someone swears at me on here, they are swearing at a username and a post, not me. Personal attacks can and do hurt, but not the swearing alone.

I am much more bothered by passive aggressiveness, or by being patronized. I also dislike when posters try to shut down another poster who simply has a different opinion, by making out they are hysterical or emotional or anything that they are not.

Compared to all that, swearing is just words.

hennybeans · 23/03/2015 14:40

I would be highly offended if someone swore at me in person. Likewise, I don't like swearing out loud as I don't think it's appropriate in front of children and generally I find it uncouth.

I have a friend with a toddler who swears all the time ( I think in her mind her 2 year old doesn't understand her). It makes me cringe when she swears in front of my 2 year old because I know he is listening.

I don't mind written swearing at all. It doesn't trouble me to read words like fuck, etc, although I don't tend to use them personally. I wouldn't be offended if someone swore at me online if it was in jest and lighthearted. I would be if they swore at me because they didn't like what I said- although it probably wouldn't bother me quite as much as if someone told me to bugger off ,etc in person.

BankWadger · 23/03/2015 14:51

Lots of swearing on the sweary thread. It's all in good nature. Wouldn't be allowed other places which is a pity because sometimes a good creative swear is exactly what's needed.

MrsPurchase · 23/03/2015 14:58

I fucking love swearing. I am bastard brilliant at it.
I can't do much of it in RL as I have a 2.10 DS who is a total bollocking sponge when it comes to picking shit up.

Psipsina · 23/03/2015 16:17

It is all about context and intent.

I do find posts or threads that 'celebrate' swearing pretty sad and dull though. It's not like it really requires any skill; we can all do it if we want to.

Psipsina · 23/03/2015 16:17

By the way this wouldn't be a thread about a thread, would it?

Bunbaker · 23/03/2015 16:21

I don't find swearing offensive. I just don't like it and don't use the aforementioned words in everyday life. It just doesn't come naturally to me. I know DD (14) swears. All 14 year olds do, but she understands when it is and isn't appropriate.

I'm probably a bit of a prude, but I don't care. None of my friends or family swear in everyday life either.

FenellaFellorick · 23/03/2015 16:24

I'm not offended by seeing the words. Only if they are directed at me in an abusive way. I find gratuitous swearing dull rather than offensive.

Bunbaker · 23/03/2015 16:25

"I find gratuitous swearing dull rather than offensive."

So do I.

Tizwailor · 23/03/2015 16:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TwartFaceBeetj · 23/03/2015 16:35

I don't like any belittleling with or without swear words.

I don't mind seeing swear words.

LifeIsBetterInFlipFlops · 23/03/2015 16:36

I loathe hearing swearing and seeing it written down, whether directed or just general.
In real life I avoid people who swear and when I see it written down by an OP when they start a thread I stop reading it and move on.

LifeIsBetterInFlipFlops · 23/03/2015 16:38

I think I'll be hugely in the minority on MN though; so much of it seems out of kilter from RL.

chockbic · 23/03/2015 16:40

Fuck is one of my favourite words.

Good job we don't have a swear box.

taxi4ballet · 23/03/2015 16:42

For me, it depends entirely on the context. Humorous banter between adults, fine.

If it is intended to cause upset or offence, or is being used by/around children then I don't much like it at all.

AliceMcGee · 23/03/2015 16:42

I think it is worse on the internet (or written communication generally) because I am hearing it in my own voice.

Hillingdon · 23/03/2015 17:06

In relation to Mumset for example I find when people start telling others to fxxk off and call them cxxts its because they ae losing a argument. It makes them look very foolish and somehwat unhinged!

In real life if they had a different view of someone else would they really start using those words??

Flip