To complain about my son's school...

[Katinkka]

My son goes to a PRU on a permanent basis due to his behaviour issues. He is finally, after two years getting his autism assessment next month. He has a statement.

My issue is with the head teacher and the religious indoctrination at the school. The head teacher speaks to me (and others) as if we are naughty children. I have pulled her up on this and been told 'not to start'. She has had me in tears before and when I left, had a go at me for being rude for leaving at the next meeting. I do not feel like I can speak to her about anything. At the beginning we had a good relationship.

The other issue is the religious bent she puts on everything. The children are not allowed to eat unless they say grace. This is nonsense to me. I am not religious but have up to now, let this go as I was hoping to get him into another school. I now realise I am stuck with this school for the foreseeable future. I feel put in a difficult situation because I don't want to encourage my son to be disobedient in a situation where many children have behaviour issues but, I am not happy about the saying grace and going on about God all the time. I feel it has no place in a state funded special school. If anyone should be thanked, it should be the dinner ladies!

I've looked at their complaints policy and Ofsted but can't find what I should do. A letter to her seems pointless as she usually ignores any attempt I make at communication unless she needs to. Maybe, I shouldn't do anything... ?

EveBoswell - seriously?

I remember at my state school we had to say "For food and friends we thank you Lord, ahem".

So if that isnt religious indoctrination then I don't know what is

I said to myself at a young age that if I had children I would not be brainwashing them. Unfortunately in the UK, the only alternative is to socially isolate them instead

Why have you waited so long for the statement op? My son is four and is in reception at a special needs school as soon as his statement was agreed we had the final copy with in two weeks he was one of the last children in the la to get a statement rather than the new care plan as he got it in august and the echp ,started in September also the echp,s are supposed to take a maximum of twenty weeks.?

" Unfortunately in the UK, the only alternative is to socially isolate them instead"
you will find that religious indoctrination is far 'worse' in other European countries, mijas, for example in Spain or Italy where the Muslims have to 'sit out' of religion class.

So for two years he was denied a full time education? Was that in his old statement? Or is the one you haven't yet seen the only statement he has had? Sounds like you and your son are being badly let down.

Yes Sunny, which is why here in Spain we have to send our children to a private independent school. Crazy isnt it?

My kids were in Spanish school for a couple of terms and we had to BUY a special book that told them how to be good Catholics!!
But we digress.
It does sound as though OP and her son are being let down and fobbed off.

My oldest son is 15 and has classic Autism. He has a diagnosis, statment, when he was smaller he had personal carer at school and speech therapy etc. He is in a special school now. So I am aware of how things work when they work properly. The problem with my younger son is that he is more an aspergers type so less of an obvious issue and despite pushing and pushing for help and assessments from him being in nursery this is how far I've got. That isn't my fault. I've been messed about so much. I've been sent to three lots of parenting classes and lots of concentrating on the negative aspects of his behaviour, only finally now am I getting to a point where he might get a diagnosis! On the evidence from other professionals and his care needs he gets high rate DLA.

The statementing process took a long time. Much longer than 20 weeks and partly because I had been told it had been started when it hadn't. The autism assessments are also supposed to be done within 26 weeks but we are coming up to two years now and it's next month.

Op my 12 yr old has aspergers, just diagnosed officially after a long push and we are trying to get him support. As he has always done well academically school thought he was Ok... Now at high school it's falling apart. Am meeting the senco this afternoon.

It just makes me so cross that it is such a battle.

The head teacher sounds massively unprofessional.
You need a new advocate and some support. You shouldn't have to do this on your own.

I think if the Head tells you 'don't start' when you raise concerns about your child with SN then there is a problem, regardless of whether saying grace feels okay to you or not.

I have a Head like this. It is a HUGE problem.

I hope you find a way through. Grace is a red herring in a way, it is the attitude of the Head and the stagnation for your son in this school that is the real worry.

Not meaning to be annoying but, for the sake of accuracy, we don't have daily acts of worship in Scottish state schools ( probably do in Catholic schools).

we have experience of 2 Scottish state primaries (same LEA) where Head behaves as if it were their own personal fiefdom across all areas of Curriculum, both academic and pastoral.
CforE is very very woolly.

Not in Scotland.

Complain in writing to the governors- about the head's unprofessional rudeness, about the requirement to say grace in order to eat, etc. List your concerns wrt your son's statement, provision and progress. Avoid being emotional in the letter and wherever possible back up each complaint with examples.

YANBU, at all. She sounds dire.

No Governors in Scotland.
You can complain to Local Authority.
If they are not interested, you can go to Mediation.
If that not successful you can go to Independent Adjudication.
That will give a judgement which has no legal powers.

There are no Tribunals, afaiK.

Is this a Scottish school though? - there are no 'Statements' in Scotland.

I may be mistaken but i thought they were getting rid of statements

There aren't statements in England either - its now EHAPs I think.

Ok and Hi Katinka and how very much I feel for you and ds's situation, my ds (now 13) and I were in the same 'place' with things about the same age but it's ok now. Yes, there are certain things that are supposed to happen and for a few/some things go the way they are supposed to, as you already know, and as many of us also know, it often doesn't. You are getting a 'mishmash' of ideas/advice here and what I would add is get thee to the SN boards, and to IPSEA and the religious thing is the least of your concerns right now.

And YANBU and

Sorry I caused some confusion there, I should really go to pedants corner when I get overcome with the need to pick people up for thinking certain education practices are UK wide when they are England and
Wales and Northern Ireland only.

Thanks all for contributing to this thread. Feel better for just airing it all out. I have another son at another PRU also, so my hands are so full and I am very stretched thin with it all. I am writing the letter excusing him from religious worship and have printed off the relevant legislation which backs it up so thanks to the poster who told me I could do that.

Yes, the statements are changing to some care plan thing. But since writing this, this morning I've realised my older son's revised statement has come through no problems but maybe that's cause it's already mostly done. I don't know. They didn't call me back.

I'm shocked at how little support you and your DS are getting.
The head sounds like a bully and the school is failing your son.
It sounds like the religious aspect is the tip of the iceberg but maybe one you feel you can have some sort if control over at a time when you are hitting your head off a brick wall when all you are trying to do is get your DS the support he needs and is entitled too .
The school sounds as if it is failing in its duty of care. Have you thought about contacting your local MP?

Statements are becoming Education, Health and Care Plans but there's a three year transition process. By law a final statement should be produced within 8 weeks from the date when you were sent a proposed statement. If you still haven't had the final, I suggest you write to the local authority pointing out the law and saying that if you haven't received the final statement by, say, the end of the week you will have to proceed to judicial review. Then contact someone like SOS SEN to see if they can do a formal pre-action letter for you. That should bring your child's statement to the top of the pile.

I would also suggest you take this to the Special Needs board where there are a lot of people who can help in more detail.