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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

aibu not doing any voluntary work, church need treasurer.

52 replies

bedraggledmumoftwo · 22/03/2015 12:23

In church this morning they announced they were desperately looking for a treasurer. I am a qualified accountant and feel like I should really volunteer.

For context, I have a 1yo and 3yo. I work full time with a long commute but have applied to go part time as the long days are killing me. Part of me thinks it would be silly to then sign up for something else having cut my paid hours! But at the same time I feel like I should really give something back. Whether it I possible at all will depend on the time commitment, if it is say 2-3 hours a week, yes,2 days obviously wouldn't be viable.

I keep reading about people doing voluntary work, but am wondering what you do, why and how much time it takes up.

If I am about to drop my hours is it unreasonable for me not to volunteer when I have the skills they need?

OP posts:

Fugacity · 22/03/2015 19:37

Done well, it's a massive job. At my church, we have a treasury team. Basically, the main treasurer assisted by a person who pays bills and someone who manages planned giving.

The treasurer role is highly strategic. Basically, this is drawing up a budget and producing monthly accounts. The budget is all about getting the most out of our income. It takes a lot of knowledge of taxation and charity law, and closed monitoring of trends such as utility costs and interest rates.

It involves monthly meetings (PCC/standing committee), of 2-3 hour duration, each with a presentation of the budget (YTD, forecast etc), as well as meetings with clergy, wardens and the assistant treasurers.

From your brief posts, I would say that you are not ready to take on the treasury role, but perhaps an assistant treasurer (say, the person who settles expense claims and pays bills) would be a good springboard.

And make your giving planned giving. The church needs to claw back your taxes. :)

rookiemere · 22/03/2015 20:08

YANBU. It would be crazy to cut back on paid work to replace it with unpaid work .I've volunteered for a few things and in my experience, it always ends up being more than what you thought it would be.

My last attempt was to join the general committee at the scout group because it was only one meeting every couple of months. Well yes, that was true, but each meeting involved getting the very small group of people to volunteer to run a coffee morning, or fund raising event and bearing in mind most of those there already ran scout or cub groups well, let's just say there was a bit of expectation about what I should be taking on.

Nowadays I restrict myself to helping out at isolated events, mind you even that has backfired. I did a few things for a friend last year who was doing a big charity event. Happy to do it, but glad when it was all over. Now she has committed herself to something else and is looking for support again.

viva100 · 22/03/2015 20:15

Every person I know who does serious volunteer work either works part time or is a SAHM. If you have kids and work, volunteering doesn't sound like a good idea. It"ll just take precious time away from your kids/partner/Sunday lie-in. Don't do it just bc you feel guilty for some reason.

dietcokeandwine · 22/03/2015 20:32

Agree with viva.

I have 3 DC including a toddler (older two are at school) and I've done a regular volunteer role for our church (playgroup organiser, which includes managing the finances as well as running the group every week) for several years. But I'm a SAHM. I look on it as a (very part time, obviously) job. I enjoy it and it makes me feel useful and I love the fact that I'm 'giving something back' BUT I am not trying to juggle a paid job and commute at the same time.

In your circumstances OP I wouldn't be rushing to volunteer. The main volunteers I've encountered have generally been part time WOHP or SAHP, and usually have older children so out of that baby/toddler zone.

I'd steer clear for now.

TowerRavenSeven · 22/03/2015 20:36

YANBU if the time commitment isn't too much for you to handle. The last thing you want is to say you can do it and then regret it! So think long and hard what your max hours would be and tell everyone involved right off the bat what they are and then don't deviate from them, would be my advice.

I too, volunteer at our church. Our church is totally funded by the members. We do not get any money from the Diocese, etc. Lately we've had some key people that were asked to leave, so we are in the state of controlled chaos.

For months they were asking members to help clean the bathrooms. We used to have a volunteer that did all the cleaning (there are five bathrooms, most with more than two stalls/urinals, etc.) In other words, a lot of bathrooms to clean.There was one member doing it three times a week, no one stepped up. Two months ago I finally said to myself "I can do this one day a week". Let's face it, cleaning public bathrooms (we have tons of groups using our facility) is probably the worst possible job in the building. I certainly don't want to be known as the church cleaning woman. Not that anything is wrong with that work choice, but that is Not my work choice. But somehow I felt led to serve and I knew that this is where the desperately needed it.

BUT I have to say that I work part time and when I started I told them I would take one day a week. Immediately the other member that was doing it asked if I would take over when they went on vacation. I responded NO! I refuse to accept a key to the church. I know what that means, "something needs doing, call TowerRavenSeven. She'll do it". I am very firm in what I will and won't do. It takes me basically two to two and a half hours to clean all the bathrooms and I do a really thorough job. I don't enjoy cleaning them, but I do enjoy serving. So just be firm on your time and right off the bat don't be taken advantage of. No one will ask me to mop floors. It is my most hated job at home and I'm not mopping five bathroom floors, I'd be there forever.

tobysmum77 · 22/03/2015 20:42

I disagree that sahms do more volunteering they don't ime. I end up volunteering for stuff I dont particularly want to do (who does though?), I work 4 days per week have 2 young children. Ultimately someone has to do it so I think yabu op.

HouseHubs · 22/03/2015 20:43

I am involved in a local church and do a few roles there, but am careful not to take on too much. Firstly, an important maxim I have when feeling a bit too busy is only to do those things that only I can do. Other people can do the church accounts, if I don't volunteer to do them they will still get done. But when I ran the church toddler group, I was the only person in a position to do it and do it well, so I did. From this, recognise that the only person who can give your children the care and love that they need is you, and see that as your major priority.

Otherwise, only take on for volunteering something that you can give sufficient time to to do well. There's no point in taking something on and having to give it up a few months later, and handing it on in a worse state than when you started. Be honest and fair with yourself and the organisation seeking a volunteer.

Being part of a church is a long term thing. You might find that when your children are at school that you have a bit more time to give. Maybe when they are teenagers there will be a real need for your skills. My gut feeling is that with pre-school children you really need to be giving of yourself to your family first, and the church should (I hope!) understand that.

TheFullGammon · 22/03/2015 20:49

By all means give something back. Once your youngest is settled at school. This is not the right time for you to be taking on something this big.

ImAlpharius · 22/03/2015 20:55

I do lots of volunteering at church as does DH. He was treasurer for a while (and is ACCA) but gave it up at the last APCM. He found it to much to do the same things in work as out of work, he'd much rather do other types of volunteering (playing guitar leading worship etc) than what he did every day. In our financial set up the treasurer role is more book keeper, paying invoices etc and tbh his qualifications made him over complicate many aspects. There is a lot of good software designed for churches and easy to use to do the accounts an accountant can get in the way! So I wouldn't if I was you!

BarbarianMum · 22/03/2015 20:55

Everyone should give something back at some point but you may not be at the right point in your life to take on another large and time consuming appointment. Doesn't make you a bad person, doesn't mean you shouldn't consider it again in 5 years.

BarbarianMum · 22/03/2015 20:57

That should say commitment not appointment. Brain fail.

Original poster

bedraggledmumoftwo · 22/03/2015 21:10

Thanks all for the insights. It is a very large church(in fact I assume it would cover two churches) and would be on the more complicated side. I think it would be too much for me to take on now, especially since my part time application hasn't yet been approved, and even if it does will probably end up being full time in key periods, month end, year end, etc, which would probably be when I would need to give my time to the church. Any part time agreement is also likely to be time limited, especially because i am in a very senior role, and I would expect to have to go back to full time in a few years. So the possibility that I would be stuck with the job forever, even when I went back to full time does resonate with me.

I think my husband is relieved. He works 80 odd hours a week and usually stays in hotels, so he likes the idea of me having more time for the kids, especially as he can't.

I think I will set up planned giving and offer to review the accounts but stick with helping out at Sunday school in terms of commitments.

OP posts:

tobysmum77 · 22/03/2015 21:15

if you are helping with Sunday school then that's probably enough, I read your op that you were doing nothing at all. I wouldn't take on the accounts of 2 churches, it sounds massive but then I don't have the skills for it either .

I think there are times when time constrained 'good enough' has to be good enough though..... I have a couple of things that there is no one else for, I would gladly hand over to someone to do a proper job

SeaMedows · 22/03/2015 21:43

Thanks very much, people. I had a chat with our vicar after church today about joining the PCC, so I'll see how things go. I've moved house recently and therefore church too, but the vicar says she'd be pleased to have someone new to the congregation on the PCC.

ImAlpharius · 22/03/2015 21:48

PCC is always a good way of getting to know the behind the scenes working of a church. I would certainly recommend anyone considering treasurer, secretary, warden etc roles to spend time on PCC first.

Tokelau · 22/03/2015 21:53

I would say that if you have a one year old and a three year old, and you work, then now is not the time for you to help out. Give it a few years and when your children are older and you have more time to yourself, then help out. If you are changing to part time hours, I would spend those extra hours with your children.

BackforGood · 22/03/2015 23:12

I disagree with Viva though. I know dozens and dozens (possibly into hundreds) of people who do a serious amount of volunteering - through the volunteering I do - alongside their FT jobs.

As someone said to me a long while ago, if you want something doing, then ask a busy person. Now, to my mind, that can be a SAHP, a WOTHP, or a person working PT, the key is that they are willing to go the extra mile.

lavendersun · 23/03/2015 07:31

Bedraggled - the more you write the more I think that you are trying to do the 'right' thing, rather than the best for you.

Don't do it! I declined taking on our church accounts a very long time ago because there was a lot of pettiness involved. I felt bad because the vicar was absolutely lovely, but that was the only reason I felt bad. I ran junior church too, but that folded in the end because we didn't have any children, only mine most months!

Enjoy your newly found time at home with your children.

Ragwort · 23/03/2015 08:26

BackforGood - totally agree with the expression 'if you want something doing ask a busy person'.

I too am involved in lots of different volunteering projects and I would always ask a 'busy' person ........... some people make an absolute drama over doing one simple thing but a busy person can multi task, will already have lots of contacts and just get on with it. - Obviously I am generalising here but you get the picture.

I appreciate that volunteering is not for everyone but for those of us who do volunteer - it can be incredibly rewarding.

Pantah630 · 23/03/2015 08:42

The majority of people I know that volunteer, myself, DH and DS1included, Scout sector, all work and have children, from babes in arms to teens, or are now retired but were still volunteering before they retired iykwim. They hook you in with the "two hours a week" line, and before you know it, every day has some form of Scouting or other in it.

But, treasurer for a church, unless a very small church, looks like it would be a huge task and one better undertaken in a few years time, when both children are at school and you have a little more free time on your non working days.

Pantah630 · 23/03/2015 08:43

Oops DS1 shouldn't have been included there, he works full time but I have no DGC yet.

Ragwort · 23/03/2015 09:20

Panta - totally agree about Scouting, it can take over your life, but I did meet my DH that way. .

lavendersun · 23/03/2015 09:52

DH & I help at scouts too - very enjoyable, but it is only 2 hours a week because we are mere 'parent helpers'.

redskirt · 23/03/2015 11:29

Don't do it right now, you've got enough on your plate.

gabsdot45 · 23/03/2015 11:36

Isn't there a scripture in the old Testament that says something about there being a time and a season for everything under heaven.
You are in the 'season' for raising young children and this is your priority. Don't feel guilted into taking on anything extra. When your kids are bigger and less dependant you can take your turn.

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