to think my boss is manipulating situations and making me look stupid

[ScotsWhaHae]

We sat in a meeting, with others external to our company, discussing a departmental restructure. A potential model was agreed on by all 5 of us in the meeting.

2 weeks later he shows me the proposal he's taking to the board for approval and it's completely different, leaving out a whole team that I was to manage.

He's telling me that I have picked things up wrong and misunderstood, everyone else that was there is under the impression that his proposal was what we discussed in the meeting. This strikes me as odd as he hasn't met with the rest of them and if he's emailed them I've been left out.

So I am left thinking that I have imagined the whole thing. He's basically telling me that I have sat in a,meeting and missed the whole point. But I know that I haven't. We talked about aspects of the team I was to manage at length.

I told him that his proposal us not representative of what was agreed, isn't what we talked about and not really workable. Well it is for him as it gets rid of a group of people he doesn't enjoy dealing with. Bot out of a job but in a position where he won't need to be involved with them.

Small organisation, he is the boss and reports to a board who are quite out of touch and easily impressed. He's only been manager since November but has been part of the organisation for some time.

What do I do?

Are there any minutes of the meeting? I would have thought there must be if external stakeholders were present.

No minutes, it was more a coming together to discuss something than a formal meeting. A board member was present and two people, not stakeholders, in an advisory and support role.

So where do you fit in this structure? Have you got notes from the meeting that say you are to manage this team? What are your options?

Yep, I have notes. I had to go check them to reassure myself I didn't imagine the whole thing.

This team would be supported by me. Currently he supports them in their various roles but this was to bring them into one team. His new structure that he came up with disbands this group of people altogether and puts them back in to small areas getting on with tasks.

You need to talk to the others that were at the meeting, see what their recollections of the model agreed were, and then see if he has approached them with this new model. Any meeting, esp with external people, should have been minuted or at least an email sent afterwards to clarify what was agreed and what the next tasks are.

Sounds like he is the one who came away with the wrong impression.

It would feel like I am going behind his back doing that but I'm going to have to. I've got a horrible feeling he's spun it to suit himself and has told me everyone else agrees with him without actually speaking to them and will tell them we, as staff, agree his proposal is best. Playing us of against each other relying on the fact that I won't contact the rest.

Go back to him with your notes and ask him directly if he's revised the plan with the others present at the meeting. Fair enough if he wants to change it for his own reasons but telling you you have it all wrong needs to be nipped in the bud.
Can you be sure the others wont tell him if you make discreet enquiries? Don't let any further meetings be unchaired or unminuted. He sounds like a dick tbh

There's been 2 previous occasions he's went round the houses hiding behind other people when implementing changes he wants. So rather than stand by his decision and taking the feedback he makes it everyone else's doing. Unfortunately I think that this is just the first time I have been central to it.

It's complicated as we're a social enterprise voluntary set up with service users on our board. In other words it's easy for him to run rings around them.

I'm going to approach the others tomorrow in a 'I must have got it wrong' kind of way.

Sigh

I love my job, I don't want all this shit. I've been there 5 years without any of this stress but since November it's been fight after fight.

All the more reason you need a good chair and minutes at every meeting. No point in having stakeholders on the board or even having board meetings if he's going to steamroller his way through like this. I have experience of this type but unfortunately my dickhead was the chair.

Do you think I should approach the board with my concerns?

He's very clever. But can't handle confrontation. When I declared his proposal was absolutely bot what was discussed he got all flustered and shakey. He can play people off but obviously doesn't like getting called out.

He sounds like my old line manager who produced minutes that were sometimes the opposite of what the meeting had agreed, because he had disagreed with the decision.

How did you deal with it?

I would let it rest, but make sure in future to email him in future soon after a meeting. Something like: just making sure I got the points right, we have agreed to A, B and C, my part will be all of B and some of A together wit colleague X. He will then have to reply somehow and you'd have it written down. Also, make sure there are minutes, ask an admin to come in or take turns to take minutes.

This was pre-economy collapse so I decided to look for another job and left.
Other people probably have better advice than I do!

How did you get on today OP?

It depends n whether you want the additional responsibility of managing this team and if it makes most sense to have then report in this manner or if his way is equally sensible.

What's his agenda for pushing you out in this situation. Is he trying to undermine you?

I wouldn't take being gaslit at work ! I'd at least call him on it if you haven't already made it clear that he's gone back on agreed actions. I'd also document this instance in some way, with HR or a board member? Just so you don't found like an utter paranoid loon next time he does it you need evidence that he's done it this time. Iykwim?

He's playing on the fact staff don't really trust the board so making them the reason his shit changes are pushed through where he's actually telling them the changes are needed.

So yesterday I spoke to a board member who will be going into a meeting with him on Thursday to share my concerns. I also e-mailed my interpretation ie what was actually discussed, out to everyone who was at the meeting. He'd already asked me to put it together for him so e-mailing it to everyone is the same thing. I won't see him u til Friday now.

The whole point of this process was to give service users more representation, which I was to support. He doesn't really like that though, he finds the service users difficult and would rather run us like a private profiteering outfit, but we're not!

Don't feel guilty about getting confirmation of what was said. The person sneakily going behind people's backs is him!

You need to get recorded clarification. Is it possible to request a further meeting that is minuted? Maybe if you suggest this to him, he'll back down. You really mustn't let him get away with this behaviour or it'll keep happening.