to think my SIS is a passive aggressive, insensitive bitch

[laundryelf]

for sending me a message (facebook private) containing a photo of her dog cuddling on sofa with my Dniece who is there for visit, with caption new best friends when only yesterday I told my family that we are losing Ddog to cancer in next few days and my DCs are devastated at loss of their best friend. Young dog, only found out Friday.

We have a strained relationship, she & other sis make regular friendly contact but then I find out its to dig for information to use against DM who they do not get on with or to use against me. I know they have seen the private message about Ddog as they sent sorry to hear that message back.

Appreciate I am very stressed and upset just now but WTAF were my sisters thinking to send it just now! AIBU?

DH says leave it, but I so want to respond to let her know how I feel.

I say leave it and move on.

Your DH is right - ignore and unfriend her.

That's such a fucking cow. When we lost our dog it WAS losing one of the family im so sorry for you and the dc.

I think she is wanting a response. Ignore will be the best way to rile her. Then stick pins into a clay model!

Delete the message & then block her. Don't respond.

Sorry to hear about your dog - do you want to tell is about her? Xx

Thanks guys, its good to know its not just me being over sensitive. I have had a crap weekend with poor DCs who are teenagers and have had close relationship for 6yrs with Ddog, who is very much one of the family, being in tears at various times and we still have the death to get through.

I would unfriend but then rest of sibs would back her saying I was over reacting, she never meant it that way, she's so nice to peoples faces.

I'm sorry about your dog. It's not fair and you must all be devastated.

Ignore her message and look after yourselves.

don't dignify this shit with a response.
she sounds as if she has problems to actively seek to upset you/act so callously.
Y definitely are NBU.
take care x

I would also unfriend her.

Does anyone have to know that you have done so? And if they do, how is it any of their business anyway?

YANBU.

So sorry that you and your family are having such a dreadful time.

PA response??

"Cherish them while you have them, they can go all too soon"

But your DH is probably right. Chin up and ignore!

I had to delete my first reply as it was a tad OTT. I'm so sorry you are losing an important member of your family and really angry that some of the lesser species you are related to are just bloody mean. That message was in bad taste at best, cruel really.
Blue Cross offer some good advice on helping children deal with the loss of an animal friend. I've attached a link with their leaflets on it.
www.bluecross.org.uk/82007/Download-ourliterature.html

I think Nomama's first suggestion is an excellent idea. You will either catch them right off guard but retain moral high ground, or they'll respond positively and you'll know it wasn't meant nastily. And you avoid escalating into one of those family arguments which go on for or years, I know ALL about those!!

Sorry about your dog BTW, I thought my heart would break when I had to have my cat put down.

I would unfriend but then rest of sibs would back her saying I was over reacting, she never meant it that way, she's so nice to peoples faces.

It's only facebook

Why would anyone care or even comment if you decided you didn't want her on your friend's list?

It's not compulsory.

Sorry to hear about your dog

Thanks Cats, have downloaded some useful information there.
Thanks Worra, I know it shouldn't matter and if it were not my brothers and sisters then I think I could ignore it more but these are the people I expected more from & its yet another way of saying I am not part of the family iykwim.

When I feel like the scapegoat member of the family & know that they all get together or chat together on Facebook messenger regularly without me to offer support about other stuff. They always slip up and manage to let me know about it after the fact but not before.

I have to ignore it & focus on DCs & Ddog. We were hoping to bring Ddog home from hospital tomorrow for a day or 2 to say goodbye before PTS at home. They said he may gradually get worse over next 2 weeks.

But hospital have called to say he is worse, may not be fit to travel (its a fair distance away) so may now be going down to be there while PTS.

I'm sorry OP, ignore her message and unfollow if not unfriend.

They always slip up and manage to let me know about it after the fact but not before. hmm

Sounds like birds of a feather with your siblings, unfriend all of them?