Not to hand in notice

[Subpar]

Bottom line: I'm incompetent at my job.

I don't know why I'm so bad. I don't think I'm stupid, or at least didn't used to be, but my performance suggests otherwise and I'm not adding anything to the team.

The right thing to do would be to hand in my notice and find something else, but my confidence is at rock bottom, I'm only just keeping things afloat and I need the money.

AIBU to stay when I wouldn't want to have to work with me?

(NB No lives are at risk)

Do you have some objectives or ways to gain this competence?
I think if there is a way to gain the knowledge or skills you need then stay and try to gain these.
Is there someone at work you trust to speak to confidentially about your performance, what you could do? How do they view it or a sees it. (Just to be sure you yourself don't have a skewed view on hour performance).

Your work should be helping you achieve targets. Ask for help and what you can do to improve. Hope it gets better.

How long have you been there? Has the. A true of the job changed since you've started or you've felt you were struggling since the beginning?

Would you be looking for another job? If you found another job that you felt a bit more positive about your ability to do, it might help your confidence.

Thank you all for replying.

I'd like to have an honest conversation with the person I report to. It'd be a huge relief to be told I'm 'underperforming', because I could at least justify handing in my notice. People who know me well find it difficult to believe it's as bad as I say, so without that feedback it looks like I'm jeopardising my family's security for no reason.

The person I report to has offered help, but I don't seem able to improve my performance. I've struggled from the beginning but kept going because you just do, don't you, hoping it'll fall into place.

I'm sure a job I could do well would help my confidence, but right now I can't imagine what that would be.

God, sorry, that's so negative. I don't know what I'm asking. I'm quite a conscientious person and feel horrible about this situation - just don't know how to get out of it.

You know I had this with a job once. In my case a lot of it was bulling from management but there was a huge part of the job I was quite frankly useless at.

It came to the point where it was either quit or be sacked. I quit and it was the best thing I ever did.

I have a new job in a different field which I love and am good at.

I'd request a 1-1 and state your concerns that you feel you're failing and need support.

Have a think about the areas you're struggling most with - skills/knowledge/prioritisation/volume of work and what support would help - training/regular meetings with line manager etc.

Are there areas you feel 'stupid' in where something just isn't clicking and you're finding it hard?

What areas do you find enjoyable and easy?

Can you imagine a position where with the right support/training you would be able to do your job to the required level, or would you still hate it/be incompetent?

If you think you're struggling against the tide and you're in the wrong job, focus on what you really enjoy about your current role, and what you might be able to do that utilises these areas.

Does it involve retraining? Any internal moves you might be able to make? Any training work might send you on that would help?

Do you know which bits you specifically struggle with, it could be small areas but they then impact onto other things?

If you can work this out it would massively help you work out what you can do well whether it's in the current role or looking for a new one.

If you can come up with solutions that work can help with, you have more chance of them doing something to help.

It seems to have got serious enough for you, that being put on a formal capability pathway would be a good thing as there would be clear targets and support.

If you don't think you can do the job, you'll need to start job hunting but don't just quit unless you're too stressed to stay and then get signed off rather than quitting if you get good sick pay

I wonder if you are actually incompetent or if you're suffering a bit from imposter syndrome. Do you have objective measures for your performance?

What is it that you think you're doing badly? Would training help?

I think an honest conversation with your boss might be helpful. He/she might be able to reassure you, or put some support in place if there is genuinely a problem.

I have dealt with quite a lot of cases of under-performance in my time. In my experience, acknowledging that there is a problem means that you're half way towards a solution already - most people tend to deny it.

Le tme guess what you do, Subpar.
Teacher?
If so, we're all made to feel like this these days...

I think you're right not to resign but you have to do something to improve the situation. You could read a book about self esteem at work not that it might help that much but it could give you an insight into why things have gone this way. Is there any chance of transferring to another department. Of course you might not be incompetent at all but you just think you are. Hope things improve.

I was like this in my first job, I was devastated. I was depressed, it was affecting my relationship with dp as well.Then my supervisor left (very lucky break there) and my new one was sooo brilliant!!! Took the time to explain things, put them in context, kept an open door and I was suddenly smart again. Thinking back, that first supervisor didn't like me at all, never explained a thing properly and only spoke to me to criticise me. She was a real bully but I didn't see it at the time. The area was not my cup of tea either so I was never brilliant at it but I wasn't incompetent. Sounds like maybe you need to change departments or even jobs. Don't beat yourself up though!!! In my experience when someone is doing so poorly, it's not (just) them. They have crap managers/support. And even if your manager is willing to work on it now, it will take a while for things to change.

Thanks for the further responses. Lots of food for thought, and good questions even though I haven't necessarily got satisfactory answers.

No, not a teacher (I failed at teaching at the training stage).

My current role looked ideal on paper. In practice, it was a challenge to learn while negotiating the myriad ways in which the tools and processes made the job more difficult and time-consuming, and a high workload gave me a constant feeling of going under. This in a context of low morale in the department and, to an extent, the organisation. There was little room for creativity and not a great deal to feel interested in or proud of.

I'm really at a loss to why you're so 'incompetent'. You seem intelligent, you realise there's issues so surely you're in a position to build on it?

Do you think your self esteem might be so shot to shit that it might be inhibiting your ability to move forward and improve?

With more support do you think you could improve? Is there anything at all you can think of thats preventing it?

sorry thats lots of questions! Just trying to think from a few different angles. It would be such a shame if you felt you had to give up your job!