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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to think Selfridges have got it wrong, here?

92 replies

SpaceForAll · 20/03/2015 17:09

DD1 is 6 and loves space.

She was given a pair of fab astronaut pyjamas. She thinks they are great and loves wearing them.

She liked them so much, we recommended them to a friend and went to send them the website link. DD was SO put out to read that the PJs are supposedly "for him", i.e. boys' clothes.

So I emailed Selfridges to point this out, hoping they might consider changing the wording on their website to something less sexist. They replied "sorry for the inconvenience, we've passed your email on..."

No change was made to the website, so I emailed again.

In the light of their "agender" gender neutral campaign that they are running at the moment, I think they are being short sighted and somewhat hypocritical.

I've had no response, and DD has decided to put pen to paper and write to them herself...

I know IANBU, just wanted to raise a bit of feeling... Wink

OP posts:
Original poster
SpaceForAll · 21/03/2015 21:26

Really, windchime ? Not even hand me downs from siblings or cousins?

Are the PJs in question "boys'" or unisex? Am I dressing DD in boys' clothes? I'd argue unisex...

OP posts:
Original poster
SpaceForAll · 21/03/2015 21:30

Thanks nigella she is pretty wonderful, although I am biased of course.

OP posts:
EstRusMum · 21/03/2015 22:19

I hope she will send them a photo with her in these pyjamas. Smile to show that they are for girls too.

malefridgeblindness · 21/03/2015 22:26

yanbu. But the play n wear company may be the ones to blame:

www.playandwear.com/action-force-pyjama-playsuit.html

Original poster
SpaceForAll · 21/03/2015 23:11

Ooh yes, it does say "boys"! On the packaging it seemed unisex.

OP posts:
Original poster
SpaceForAll · 21/03/2015 23:13

Although the astronaut set just says "Kids"...

OP posts:
woodhill · 21/03/2015 23:15

sorry why do you care that much?

AppleYumYum · 21/03/2015 23:31

Well done to your DD and to you, as someone else said, it's the drip drip drip that gets to me. Lego friends in
pink and purple really gave me the rage! You have to start somewhere, and pyjamas is as good as any other. Go get 'em (and toy loving those pjs too, what a great idea, like those duvet covers that make it look like an astronaut is lying in bed!)

DirtyDancing · 21/03/2015 23:32

YANBU contact reach for the stars on facebook xx

mommy2ash · 21/03/2015 23:41

your six year old told you the website was sexist I've heard it all now.

NailItToTheCounterLordFerguson · 21/03/2015 23:54

That's the cutest letter Grin

StellaAlpina · 21/03/2015 23:55

I think your DDs letter is a lovely idea OP. Who cares if there are 'more important' issues, I think it's great that your daughter is wanting to do a bit of age appropriate political/feminist activism.

Here is a lovely gold Star from space for her.

Also, what's wrong with caring about stuff? It's nice that people care about things and want to make things better.

Egog · 22/03/2015 00:05

Apologies if someone else already suggested it, but can you Tweet them?

In my limited experience they respond much quicker to public questioning than private email.

Original poster
SpaceForAll · 22/03/2015 00:12

mommy2ash she didn't use the word "sexist", she said "not right". She knows it's "not right" to assume that only boys would be interested in space!

And of course I have been teaching her age appropriate feminism... why wouldn't I? It's a Thing in our house. DH and I both believe that our girls should not be defined by our gender. It's how we be dragging them up! Wink

She has form for writing letters of complaint, by the way - in reception class she wrote to a pen manufacturer to complain: "Dear Berol your pink pen is orange from Rowan" Grin Her teacher sent the letter and Berol sent a new pink pen which coloured in pink, not orange!

It didn't surprise me at all that she would want to do something about a wrong she has identified. I support her in that (and so apparently do loads of people who have been retweeting the letter!)

It actually doesn't really matter if the website isn't changed, does it? What really matters is that people are out there discussing how it can be the case that this kind of every day sexism continues despite the fact that it is now 2015! Hopefully discussing it, and raising the next generation to be aware of the implications, will make a change.

OP posts:
Original poster
SpaceForAll · 22/03/2015 00:15

"our girls should not be defined by their gender" I meant, sorry.

Although what I really mean is that their aspirations should not be. It's late.

OP posts:
GatoradeMeBitch · 22/03/2015 00:23

It's so stupid isn't it?

Last year someone posted some pages from an 80s Freemans catalogue here. What struck me was that on some pages the boy and girl models were modeling the same outfits. Not his and hers versions, but one outfit, one order number. The outfit I'm thinking of was a red and blue tracksuit with a TV show logo on the front. In 2015, that same outfit would be marketed at boys only. The girls would have to have something pink, or glittery, or with 'Ickle Princess' plastered across the chest.

BoobooChild · 22/03/2015 02:45

It's trying to focus on things that are actually import and to teach DCs not to be "victims" of this type of thing.

Gobbolino - her dd is not wibbling in a corner. She saw something she did not agree with and is taking a stand. Good on her.

Those saying "Why do you care? There are bigger battles." etc. Well...why do you care that some of us care? If some of us are against gender stereotypes being pushed on our kids and want to campaign against it, why not let us get on with it? If you think there are bigger problems, take your own advice and go and do something about them. Stop wasting your time complaining about people fighting the 'small' things.

mom2twoteens · 22/03/2015 04:24

If I was buying for my son I wouldn't want to trawl through loads of Barbie and Frozen stuff.

It's just a way of grouping stuff to make it easier to find. My daughter likes stuff that's considered mainly boys and we look for it there.

Shops have to cater for the majority and not the few.

Just explain to your daughter that some people think space is for boys and that's daft, and move on to something else.

WombleGravy · 22/03/2015 04:42

Your Twitter handle is narnian125 OP Smile

WombleGravy · 22/03/2015 04:43

Sorry. @narnian125

I had trouble finding you.

halfwayupthehill · 22/03/2015 04:50

Dd has red school uniform. She needed wellies. All the wellies in marks were gender divided. The girls ones were all pink and flowers. The boys ones were plain colours including red so I bought the red ones. Which were marked boys on the Insole. I asked the sales assistant if boys and girls feet were different
Apart from the fact that, at aged six, my dad was uncomfortable and self conscious about wearing boots labelled for boys, there is a bigger problem about society segregating the genders. It goes beyond even pink despite what I tell her, dd thinks bold colours are only for boys

halfwayupthehill · 22/03/2015 04:54

@rainbow, your problem wd be solved if all websites gave you a drop down menu of clothing colours to search

KurlyWurly88 · 22/03/2015 05:19

Selfridged were boasting about their 'gender neutral' space to Jenny Murray on Women's Hour this week - copy her into your 2nd letter or email to them!

HawthornLantern · 22/03/2015 06:43

halfwayupthehill although I don't know if it is true when we are children, I was told by a shoe shop - when buying adult walking boots - that men and women's feet are different.

Apparently (and it seems true based on what I've noticed since this was said to me) men's feet go straight up and down at the back of the heel. Women's feet curve outwards at the heel though. And this is why it does make sense to buy gender specific hiking boots as they are much more likely to fit properly and not give blisters.

But I have no idea if these differences are apparent in children or if manufacturers do anything different and I completely agree that there is no excuse for this nonsense with colours and differentiating between boys and girls. I remember being completely in love with my red wellies when I was 5.

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