to ask for advice on how to tell a colleague that mentioning his "todger" in work email is...well it's inappropriate!!!

[Fromparistoberlin73]

EUGHHHH

I will keep this as low key

male colleague has had serious illness, and his wife has been recently diagnosed with a serious illness
I have been trying to be kind to said colleague, listen, check in, ask how things are etc......
never has there been any flirtation from me (not that you asked...)
we work on same account

i gave colleague a you tube clip for exercise routine as it really helped me post surgery

He emailed me, and as part of the email said that (slightly paraphrased)

"The video clip lady gave him a boner"
the exercises made him really stiff, apart from his "insert phrase for male genital" which was not stiff

I was really shocked, and frankly made me feel a little bit sick. Im dont fucking talk aboout my VAGINA in work emails FFS

I dont want to kick the man when he is down, or majorly break relationship- yet I i need a simple 1 liner to say its NOT acceptable to discuss this with me, EVER

Thanks!

Ewww indeed!!

How about something like

"Glad you found the exercises helpful, but your last comment was extremely unprofessional. Please don't do this again"

Ew. Totally inappropriate.

I read your title as 'lodger' though - confused for a minute!

Ewwww!

In addition to asking him not to mention it again it might be worth a friendly reminder to him that HR are entitled to read his work emails should they ever want to, and would he really want anyone else to see that he had written that?

Or in fact, not even a friendly reminder. A brief, businesslike reminder.

Isn't it weird how in situations like this it is easy to find that you tie yourself in knots so as not to make things awkward when in actual fact it was his behaviour that made it awkward in the first place.

What was actually said? Because on my thread you made out it was a harmless thing.

And now he's saying he had a boner.

Just tell him it was appropriate

Just email back TMI and leave it at that

Gosh, it appears to be crazy colleague day! Joy!

I think I would let this go to be honest, just the one time. If it came up again ahem then I would say something.

I know it's not very important, but I'm confused. "The video clip lady gave him a boner" or
the exercises made him really stiff, apart from his "insert phrase for male genital" which was not stiff.

Those sentences are quite different! The second one could even be interpreted as him wanting to say the exercises made him ache without you misunderstanding him to be referring to his genitals!

Oh feck, posted too soon. For the question you're actually asking, I think ignoring it might be your best bet.

I don't think you can ignore it. I think he's hoping for a "flirtatious" response about doing something about his unstiffness.

ClosertoFifty has it.

Thanks, apoloigies for poor grammer- but there were two sentances-
which is what shocked me

once, shock
twice- really shocked!

digesting all advice- thanks

Two sentences? One about doing the exercises, and one about how he felt afterwards?

Okay, that puts quite a different complexion on it.

OMG, I just got it too. Watching the exercise video made him stiff, but after watching it he was no longer stiff? Yuk.

Is this out of character for him. I just can't imagine anyone I work with thinking that was OK, except (and even then it's a maybe) the ones who are generally sleazy with their "banter"

I work remotely and was asking a colleague (via google chat) for some advice over sticky keys on my keyboard.

His reply (jokingly) insinuated that my husband had been wanking over my keyboard.

I simply replied "I don't think that was an appropriate message". Enough said.

'How in any way would that ever be appropriate, let alone on a work email system?'

I have made the not-so-courageous decision to say nada - but I have not replied and have saved email away

Given what he has on his plate I am letting it slide - but another instance will be firmly addressed

Thanks all