to not force my 6 year old to do honework

[Rednotpinkorgreen]

Or do Kumon? Or have a tutor?

His school was recently "outstanding" and he's happy there, but a quick poll of his class showed an astonishing third of the kids have a tutor! Not for additional needs (which as it happens, my son has) but straightforward maths/English
and Kumon.
I just want my boy to be settled and happy - according to his teacher he's about where he should be, but it's thrown me by just how many parents are making a different choice.
His additional needs make concentrating on lots of homework very tricky so if it doesn't get done, we don't sweat it. AIBU? Am suddenly doubting myself!

Parents make different choices all the time

Just do what's right for you and yours

You're right. I suddenly thought "oh no! I'm missing something here!"

YANBU, it's an entirely personal choice in regards to things like Kumon or a tutor, if your son is enjoying schools and his teacher is happy with his work and progress then I agree there is no need for these added activities especially if they are going to cause stress.

What about homework set by the school (if there is any)?

Sorry but if he has additional needs, why wouldn't you help him as much as possible? Homework is good practise for class work and could make the difference in being behind his classmates.

YANBU about tutors though, pretty pointless at 6 I think when parents could actually teach children themselves. Different at gcse if they are struggling.

He gets a reading book a night, but we maybe read 3 a week, some spellings and some rather confusing mental arithmetic. We read to him at home, get him to read signs and menus etc, but don't force him to sit down and do it formally. His teacher rolls her eyes a bit but at 6, I'm about ANY formal homework. So if it doesn't get done then i don't worry. I'm starting to think that a significant proportion of the other parents would think this is terrible!

I think you should encourage him with stealth homework (eg letting him pay in shops, asking him the time, baking, reading comics) but yes I agree that formal homework won't necessarily be useful.

At six I think a love of learning is hugely important and the drudgery of completing formal allocated tasks (which with the best will in the world can't always be tailored to his own levels and interests) runs the risk of putting him off.

I agree that too much formal homework at such a young age can cause barriers to learning and actually stop a child from engaging, but that being said as he gets older he will be expected to complete homework, and it's a good idea to install this routine early.

When he reaches secondary school (I know that's a long way off) not completing homework will put him at a disadvantage, I would just worry that you are setting a precedence that homework isn't important/is optional, which won't be the case in years to come.

Needabumchange his additional needs aren't related to anything academic. Making him sit down and forcing him won't make any difference to his condition. And of course we help him as much as we can, but I'm not convinced this is the way.

MrsHathaway that's what I think too. At 6 I want him to love learning, not necessarily be top of the class for spellings! But apparently this isn't a majority view with the other parents.

Dontworrybaldrick I hear you but I think we're a long way off that.

Education is a marathon and not a sprint! These parents are running the very real risk of creating a child whose interest in education is killed off by the time it starts to matter.

I think you need to do some of the set homework otherwise he might fall behind in class making it harder for him in the long run, also doing homework is a skill and it will be much harder to launch into a lot more homework in secondary if he's not worked up to it.

I agree additional coaches and large holiday projects are often not necessary, but spelling is a life skill.