Good hygiene and cleanliness shouldn't be someone's biggest accomplishment

[Isitmeorisitthem]

Backstory: some of my family are very hygiene, cleaning conscious. To the point where they will bleach everything possible daily, won't meet other people as they have animals, throw out shoes after a walk in the woods. I don't want to say OCD but I think they fit as their lives are controlled by the need to stay clean.
This appears to be a learned behaviour passed from parent to child over a couple of generations.
It is a standing joke that if any of them come to visit you need to take time off before I make sure your house is utterly spotless. One of them has been known to take her own cleaning products and thoroughly clean the room she was staying in when visiting guests...
The eldest member of the family who was such a stickler died last week and her funeral was yesterday.
In the eulogy, the vicar spoke, at length, about her high standards of cleanliness.
I found this quite sad. This was a woman who had 4 children, was a wren during the war, was a beautiful singer etc but they think her biggest achievement was that she bleached her floors daily and wouldn't leave the house latterly in case she picked up germs. Some of the family really do think this is THE most important thing in life.
Others, like myself are a bit more relaxed. I like to have things clean and tidy but I'd rather enjoy life and do things than worry about remaining spotlessly clean.
The very clean people can be very judgemental about the rest of us I realise I am judging them with this thread and it has caused arguments and bad feeling.
Am I wrong in thinking there should be more to life than cleaning and for that to be mentioned at your funeral as an important aspect of your life is quite sad?

YANBU

I agree with you, there is far more to life than cleaning. However since it was so important to your family member, and a huge part of her life I don't think it's sad that it was mentioned in her eulogy at all.

I agree with you, I would want to be remembered for more than the cleanliness of my house. I find it sad that she obviously accomplished so much yet her life was measured by her obsession with cleaning.

I don't think it's sad that it was mentioned at her funeral. A funeral is supposed to be something that reflects the life of the deceased, and if she took great pride in keeping a clean home then that's as much to celebrate as anything else.

YANBU. It sounds pathological. Very sad that they're lives were/are being so limited by cleaning. It definitely wouldn't be a way of living I imagine anyone aspires to. I feel really sorry for them, sounds like a massive source of anxiety.

From your description it sounds more like they were massively anxious about cleaning rather than taking pride in cleanliness.

Yanbu. I have a friend who regularly updates her Fb status to inform us that she's bleached her kitchen floor, cupboards and bathroom.

Orrrrrrr is all I generally reply with.

MrsNow, my cousin does that. She informed me that my child being born prematurely was because I work with children so come across germs.
They try to make me feel guilty for not being like them. I have little contact because they stress me out. I probably would clean less for a royal visit than any of them coming!
Nothing much of her life was mentioned. Just that she always polished her shoes. She got worse with age. It shouldn't be all she is remembered for.

I had an Aunt who used to pull out every wardrobe in her room and hoover and dust behind them weekly.

Leave them to it, it's makes happy.

I bonded very much with my mil when she said she only dusts upstairs when she can write her name in it.

Actually that level of preoccupation with cleanliness does sound borderline obsessive tbh and also extremely boring for everyone around them.

YANBU, that is sad.

OCD gets chucked about on mn but they are ruled by it. They try to get the rest of us to conform to it. It is hard when this is basically all you have ever known to break away from it.

My amazing, fistey, outspoken, funny aunt was buried last year, the Priest talked about her knitting. No one wants controversy at a funeral.

I'm sure that your aunt did more than keep a clean house but there was a time when it was the biggest compliment a working class woman could be given.

Yanbu, it sounds like they are all mentally ill.

My elderly neighbour A is a clean freak. Turns out she went to school with new friend B whom I met at evening class and is a talented potter. So A and I went to visit B one afternoon, first time they'd met since they left school at 14. I was entranced by the art work around and the statues and pots, etc. A merely asked how often B pulled out her cooker in her fitted kitchen to clean behind it. When A and I returned home, I enthused about B's late discovered talent. A merely remarked that B 's skirting boards needed dusting.

I'm well beyond the pale...I get cleaners in once a month .