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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have ignored this child?

22 replies

RocketInMyPocket · 19/03/2015 21:04

Bumped into relative of DP's, randomly whilst out shopping.
Had a quick 2 min chat, How are you?, What you been up to? Blah blah blah, Gotta go, in a rush, see you later.

Found out through DPs family she's been slagging me off for ignoring her DS.

He's a very shy child, the type to hide behind mums legs if spoken to.

TBH it didn't even enter my head?
It's not like he spoke to me, and I then ignored him, or we had planned to meet up and I didn't acknowledge him the whole time or something like that.

What do you think, AIBU?

OP posts:

Springtulip · 19/03/2015 21:06

Yanbu, some people are just so ready to take offence.

babymouse · 19/03/2015 21:06

YAN(mostly)BU

She is being unreasonable by slagging you off, that said, you probably should have said a quick hi to him even if it was going to send him looking for cover, it is only polite to do so.

CaptainAnkles · 19/03/2015 21:07

Try not to let it bother you. If I saw somebody in a very quick catchup 'hi how are you' type situation, I wouldn't expect the person to say anything to whoever I was with either. She's being hugely oversensitive and rude to slag you off for it.

ChipDip · 19/03/2015 21:07

Yanbu, I don't really try too hard if a child is shy either. A quick hello is fine. I would steer clear of her sounds like a nut.

Theycallmemellowjello · 19/03/2015 21:10

I wouldn't slag someone off over it, but I do think it's a bit rude to ignore someone like that. Personally I don't consider it less rude to ignore someone just because they are a child or are shy.

keepsmiling2015 · 19/03/2015 21:19

I don't think yabu. But I'd always say hello to a child or anyone else who was with someone I was chatting to out of politeness. But I wouldn't be annoyed if someone didn't say hi in passing to one of my children. She sounds a bit precious if she's making a big deal out if it.

rockinrobintweet · 19/03/2015 21:24

I can imagine this situation and me not being offended if my dd was ignored, and I can also imagine how it could be easy to do (ignore a small child i mean- especially if they don't know you too well).

do i think you were unreasonable? perhaps not, but it's have been nice to say hello. do I think she's being unreasonable to slag you off to people? absolutely.

kissmethere · 19/03/2015 21:29

Yanbu a quick catch up and on your way isn't the same as if you'd spent longer and not acknowledged him. Does she actually like you? She sounds like she's stirring shit, using an excuse to be offended. Why didn't she say something along the lines of "hey little tarquin? Say hello to Rocket..." If she wanted you to make contact? I'd tell her to piss off!
Sorry something similar has happened to me.

QTPie · 19/03/2015 21:52

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Original poster

RocketInMyPocket · 20/03/2015 07:42

Seems a bit of a mixed bag... Hmm

OP posts:

bearwithspecs · 20/03/2015 07:45

I would normally say hello to child but if I was dashing and child shy I might not !

Fauxlivia · 20/03/2015 07:49

I think she sounds like a loon. You didn't pointedly ignore her child - you were just rushing and said a passing hello to the mum.

Eithet way though, slagging you off on fb is far ruder. If she had a point she's blown any moral highground with the fb behaviour.

Donthate · 20/03/2015 07:51

Slightly odd that it didn't pop into your head to say hello to him. Her making a big thing about it is bizarre. All I can imagine is that you don't show any interest in her dc ever and it annoys her? Totally guessing there.

Mehitabel6 · 20/03/2015 07:53

She must be ultra sensitive- I Wouldn't worry about it.

KatieKaye · 20/03/2015 07:57

If she is that bothered then she should have asked the child to say hello.
It works both ways

base9 · 20/03/2015 08:04

She sounds like a nIghtmare and a gossip. Next time, ignore her.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 20/03/2015 08:11

I can see where she's coming from. It wouldn't have caused you any hardship to say "Hi" to the child, would it

DeladionInch · 20/03/2015 08:12

I wouldn't totally blank another person, that's rude. a simple Hello Childsname then continue the adult conversation

I know someone who totally blanks my toddler if we run into him, but he then goes on to show absolutely zero interest in me as well so it's not so much rudeness as self-obsession

KeepsTrying · 20/03/2015 08:14

YANBU
She sounds like the type to look for fault every where she goes. If it bothered her then she should have prompted her child to say hello.
Yes, ideally you should acknowledge everyone in a group, even if it is just eye contact and a smile.
I know I don't always speak to children in a situation like this (quick hello), especially if I don't know them and vice versa with other people and my DC. It doesn't even register.

minionmadness · 20/03/2015 08:25

I do think it was a little rude to not even acknowledge the child, a quick hello would have sufficed.

Original poster

RocketInMyPocket · 20/03/2015 10:33

Thanks for opinions everyone.
I don't think I'm a rude person (or self obsessed lol), but it was clearly a bit thoughtless.

It's just I have a DD of a similar age, and I doubt it wouldn't even register if that happened in a quick, bumped into someone situation.

It wasn't on facebook, just heard through the grapevine type thing.

Something to mull over, I suppose...

Seems the general consensus is it was a bit thoughtless/rude, but her reaction is way OTT?

OP posts:

Cliffdiver · 20/03/2015 12:30

Tbh I probably would have said 'hello' to the child and like PP said 'I like your Peppa Pig hat' or something similar.

But your friend does sound very precious.

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