Not to have baby's dad at the birth?

[Carrierpenguin]

I haven't asked my ex not to be my birth partner, but I'd like to know Aibu if I were to. Needless to say we are no longer together. He hasn't been very supportive during the pregnancy, it's only been in the second trimester that he's helped me a bit with putting dc1 to bed one day a week

Oops posted too soon!

He will be assuming he will attend birth, but as I can only have one birth partner (caesarian) I'd rather have my sister, who will support me, be excited etc.

You are giving birth, you need a partner who is supporting you. However, there are lots of things to talk to him about. Looking after DC1 while you're in labour, seeing the baby soon after the birth, what you need and what he needs in terms of support.

YANBU.

YANBU. You can have whoever you want at the birth and equally you can exclude whoever you want. You aren't currently together so if you don't want him there then that is entirely your choice.

No not being unreasonable he hasn't been involved so if you doing want him there that's fine.

Yanbu!

I didn't want my husband with me for last baby, I had laboured alone (just midwife popping in now and then) and with husband and I felt better alone. I got bullied into having him there by the midwife. I wish I had stood up to her but not always easy when you are in labour. If you feel better with sister then go for it, just make sure everyone understands before the big day. I hope it goes well.

YANBU. At all. You need someone who will support you - you being calm will make a difference. I had a C-section last year and I was initially too stressed (emergency section and all a bit scary) to follow instructions properly. They got the epidural in on the last attempt, but they'd been about to go for a general.

Why not ask him to look after dc1 during birth on pretext your worried about dc1 and get him to bring dc up to the hospital when your ready.

YANBU you're having surgery you need a partner who will support you through it.

yanbu. it is up to you. I will be having my ex there but he will behave himself and rub my back when I tell him to. (he better had or he is getting kicked the feck out!)
with DC1 I wanted my mum there and not him so my mum was there and not him. im glad she was.

you absolutely do not have to have your ex partner at your birth. A birth partner is for support for the woman. It isnt a show to watch a baby come out.

YANBU. You can have your sister, friend, or just give birth alone.

YANBU you need someone supportive with you.

I had my EX at the birth and that is one of my biggest regrets. YANBU.

You must do what's right for you. It's a serious business, not a spectator sport.

Yanbu, a birth partner is there for your benefit. No way would an ex be the best person to look out for you.

I was in the same situation and at no point did I allow him to think he would be there. He was very useful looking after DC1 and in the end I had a wonderful delivery with just me and the midwives. I contacted him about 12 hours later to tell him, once DC2 and I were clean and settled and snoozed.

He met DC2 for the first time three days later on the normal day for picking up dc1. I may have been U in this but it worked well for dc1's routine and ex didn't complain.

This situation ought to be all about you, your child (children!), then your children's father- no matter what your relationship is.

Good luck OP.