To be completely infuriated with this attitude!!

[Catzeyess]

My db and dbil can both be a bit lazy, they both are mid twenties, never really had full time jobs and still live at home with parents. They don't pay rent and they don't do chores/very few chores. Neither have a girlfriend at the moment.

Was having a chat with dMIL and dm on Sunday and they both said that what db and dbil need is a 'good woman to sort them out' I got really cross at this and was saying 'no they need to sort themselves out to be worthy of a good woman!' They both looked at me completely shocked and then knowingly said 'wait till you are a mother of boys, you will understand then'

So aibu in thinking lazy teen/twenties blokes don't need a good woman to sort them out! Or am I missing something?

YADNBU, and I'd hate to think my DS will turn out like that.

It's a generation thing.
For their sakes, they need to sort themselves out (woman or man).

No, you're not missing anything. I'd ask them 'Where do you think you went wrong, then?' and when they ask what you mean, say, 'Well, presumably you aren't these 'good women' you're talking about because whatever you expect them to do, you haven't done it yourselves!'

Yanbu. Mothers of boys who don't make them do anything deserve to have them stay at home forever being feckless and lazy. It infuriates me too. No decent woman would put up with a bloke that wants to marry a mother replacement.

I don't understand this weird thing where we encourage girls to be independent awhile waiting on boys hand and foot.

My dh cooks, cleans, irons, does washing and is generally pretty useful. I couldn't tolerate anyone who doesn't know where the on button is on the washing machine.

Substitute "inspire" or "motivate" for "sort".

Your mother managed to raise you to be self sufficient, so I'm assuming she didn't raise your brother in a completely different way?

I have thought of a new invention....the Mid Twenties Boy-Barrel (TM)
Insert man-boy in barrel. It has a hole halfway up with which to feed them and if they haven't got a girlfriend (or boyfriend) by 30 then one bangs the bung in hard and....

Thinking about it HeyDuggee my mum never expected my brother to do anything growing up - although me and my sister were expected to do chores. I guess it's a common double standard!

Agree with butterfly.

I hope for my son to have a wide skillset inc domesticity.

I wouldn't inflict a waster onto a poor unsuspecting girl like my MIL did

Although the funny thing is that my MIL now seems proud her son can do things in the house. Tis strange!

My friend dated a guy, total lazy arsed mummy's boy. No rent, spent all his wages going to the gym, barely lifted a finger (total keeper). She somehow managed to get him to move out with her. Lasted a couple of months, he was just the same in new place, just treated her like Mother 2.0. Went running g back to mummy and (as far as I gathered) is still there now. Maybe she wasn't the 'good woman' he was waiting for

Yes you re right, but it's not your problem, if their mothers infantilise them it does nt affect you. Do nt get involved or try to change their mothers opinion, it ll only cause tension and won't achieve anything.