To be scared about DD having adenoids and tonsils out

[CountryMummy1]

Well, after 2.5 years of being made to feel like I was a neurotic mother we finally found out today what was wrong with 3 year old DD. Her adenoids are so big that they have completely closed off her nose and blocked her ears. She has glue ear thicker than the consultant has ever seen before. She has no sense of smell or taste, has sleep apnea, breathes through her mouth 24/7 and has only 25% hearing. All this finally explains her reluctance to eat, her tiredness, her sounding like darth vader etc.

I am relieved that we finally have a definitive diagnosis and the surgeon we saw today at Birmingham Children's Hospital was so nice. He says she needs everything out and grommets in and that she will be a changed child.

I know we have to do this but I keep having visions of them putting her to sleep and thinking that if things go wrong we will never see her again.

They are trying to get her a slot for next Thursday as she is in such a state.

Does anyone have experience of this op? Any tips? And how does anyone survive the wait whilst your child is under without going insane

No tips for the specific op but for the wait - magazines, food take someone with you for company.

Good luck. Try to focus on the end benefits rather than worrying about the op too much

I just keep thinking that I've lost so many babies, I can't lose my little girl as well

I understand your anxiety but it's a relatively simple surgery. Her quality of life will improve so much for such a simple operation.

Honestly it's fine. Starving them is hard. Boring while you wait for the magic cream to work and ask her dad if you can to take her down when they put her out. It doesn't take that long and she'll be back on the ward before you know it.

Take plenty to read.

I've had this operation. I was 12 (so older than most). Usually these go well and aren't too long. My mum let me have my ears pierced after the op I've no idea how she coped! She probably read a book.
Perhaps plan a lovely treat for you and her together?

I had my tonsils out two years ago. It was sore after but no worse than tonsilitis. (I was 39 btw.) I know you are anxious but it's changed things for me massively. I no longer am constantly ill and I only wish I'd had it sooner.

DS had grommets in and adenoids out at 2yo and second lot of grommets in, adenoids out (again) and tonsils out just before he started school in September.

It made a huge difference the first op as he was profoundly deaf with the glue ear, couldn't speak and was snotmeister general. The next day he completely freaked out when my DH walked down the stairs as they creak and he hadn't heard it before. The first thing he learnt to say was 'what's that' and would point to his ear then I would have to work out what he was listening to (wind in the trees was pretty amazing).

The op itself was ok, I held him down while they gassed him which wasn't pleasant but only lasted seconds and he went to sleep.

The second op had the tonsils too and that was more traumatic as he was quite sick afterwards, I think a combination of the GA and swallowing blood. But he perked up when we got him home. His throat went white which the surgeon explained would happen. The best thing you can do is get her to eat scratchy foods as it reduces the risk of infection.
The effect of the second op wasn't as noticable although it stopped the snoring.

Now he can hear he just doesn't listen! Hope it helps your DD.

My daughter had her tonsils out 18 months, she was just short of 6. It is scary and I was there on my own with her, the 30 mins she spent away from me, felt like an eternity. I did feel panicky and the worst possible case scenario constantly ran through my head but she did get through it. She bounced back, was sent home a few hours later, recovered well and more importantly has had such a huge improvement to her general health. Take someone with you, bring change for the vending machines, we brought a tablet with us and my dd was able to watch it whilst waiting on her being brought down to the theatre - took both our minds off it.

I stayed with her whilst she got the anaesthetic, it was horrible watching her go under (I'm not trying to frighten you, but it took me by surprise ). Honestly 18 months after the operation I don't regret her having her tonsils out - I feel like I've got my little girl back.

No advice on your worries about her going under anaesthetic, other than that I'm sure you rationally know this is really common, and she will be fine.

I had this done when I was four, and it really did change everything for me. Beforehand I was constantly sick with ear and throat infections every few weeks and afterwards I only got the normal childhood ilnesses. I was very small so I don't remember it that well, but I think I recovered quite fast (and got to eat lots of ice cream, which was a bit miserable the first day or two because it was sore but after that just brilliant :o ). When I woke up in recovery my parents gave me a stuffed toy panda for being brave, I still have him :)

Dd had it done aged 4. Like you, I was petrified, but it went fine, the recovery was totally bearable for all concerned, and the transformation was amazing. I remember getting a text from dh, who was doing night shift in hospital with her, saying 'she's sleeping quietly, breathing through her nose!'. Shed spent the first four years of her life sounding like a warthog! Re your worries, while I don't know the exact stats on anaesthesia, I suspect you might be at similar risk getting into a car as having a routine op. She will be in v safe hands!

I was terrified of my little boy having a GA but extremely reassured by the staff. My DS op took a little longer than expected so I was pacing up and down. They let me accompany him down for the OP and I stayed in the room while they put him under. They then called me to recovery so I could comfort him when he had come round, they had already removed tubes etc.

Tonsillectomy / adenoidectomy is very very routine for docs but not of this will help you. Only thing that helped me is focussing on the massive improvement afterwards (and it was) and focussing on not letting my anxiety affect my son. So I was very matter of fact and chatting about what he would be allowed to do as a treat when better, fussed over the TV channels etc.

The worst bit for me personally was when he was going under. Although he would never have noticed. It may be better to get your daughter's dad to do that bit if he is around.

Staff on children's ward are usually fantastic and part of their job is looking after worried parents. Please confide in them all your worries and ask to be kept informed when your daughter is out of surgery etc. If you have any faith at all a chaplain might help while she is under.

I posted on your previous thread - I mean this to be helpful please after she is better consider whether you might need CBT for your anxiety, otherwise your anxiety might find another outlet. My apologies if you are already receiving help for this.

I have had both operations, separately with nearly 15 years in between. They are amazing and you will indeed have a changed daughter. I don't envy you having to watch your dd go under, I'll have to do the same when ds is 1, but needs much and the outcome is better than the current situation. Good luck

My DD had an eye op last year so I know exactly how you feel. I went with her to the anaesthetic room, and, although that was good for her, it was torture for me! I can guarantee it will be the worst minutes of your entire life, so do take someone with you. However, I took MIL who fainted with relief when DD was wheeled safely out of Recovery!

My DD had grommets and adenoids out at 4, it was simple. Yes it's upsetting watching them go to sleep, and they can be upset when they wake up, but the op was fine. She has no memory of the op and only ever talks about having a tv above her bed in the hospital to watch!! Just think of the benefits, it's a simple every day op.

I'm an anaesthetist and do these ops all the time. Of course it's worrying and it'll be a hard moment for you, but just keep smiling until she's asleep. It really is very routine and normal for us in theatre.

I remember your previous thread and so pleased you've got answers and help.

Stock up on ibuprofen and calpol and ice pops.

This is going to help your DD to sleep, to hear, to learn, to grow, to be happy. Give it 3 weeks and you'll have a new child and a new family life.

Very best of luck.

I had tonsils and adenoids out in the mid 70s, so I would have been about 7/8.

I actually went in to have fluid drained from my ears as it was thought that was causing my hearing loss (ha! tell that to my hearing aids).

No fluid, so while I was under GA, they whipped out tonsils and adenoids. Apparently it was standard back then, it was assumed they had no use and taking them out was thought to prevent infections being a problem. Of course there's a better understanding now.

I was first on the list for the afternoon ops, went in at 2pm, and vaguely recall seeing mum and dad later on. As it was still daylight, in March, I don't think it took long at all.

Next morning I was offered cereal for breakfast, which I couldn't eat (sore throat), so drank the milk and left it at that.

I don't recall any pain in the nose, just a sore throat.

OP, I'm sorry for your lost babies , but I think your DD will be okay. It was a basic, quick OP in the 70s so should be much easier now.

It took me years to persuade my GP to refer my DD to ENT due to her snoring, reduced hearing, tiredness and lack of appetite...finally at 7 and a half she her adenoids out in January.
She is a different child. And sleeps totally silently which is actually still a little unnerving! The op itself lasted about 30mins and there was only really time to get a cup of tea. I did ask DH to go to anaesthesia with her because that is the hardest part.
She was absolutely fine after. Not even tired just hungry. I think recovery with tonsils out too is slightly harder because of the sore throat.
I was worried it is totally normal and because DD was old enough to understand she was actually terrified. You prob won't have to deal with that at least.
Good luck.

My db had to have an emergency adenotonsilectomy at 2.5yrs. Similar indeed to your dd with the exception that we didn't have time to brood

I had this done on my 7th birthday. I suffered with ear ache badly before then. The only thing I really remember was crying for my mum the night before but I presume these days you get to stay with the child. Then I remember waking up and thinking I had toast in my ear ( it was dried blood) and them cleaning it out for me. I image at a younger age she will remember less. Try and keep that in mind.

My daughter had tonsils and adenoids out 2 years ago now. So this is how it was for us.

The day of the of op she was fine. Bit bored sitting on the ward waiting so I second the bring stuff to do comment above.

I went with her to be anaesthetised, she went to sleep very quickly and peacefully. I am not one for being very worried about being separated but felt unbelievably nervous leaving her. Fortunately a friend (whose child had surgery so I think knew the feeling) was with me and dragged me away briskly and fed me tea and talked crap at me while she was in. Might be good if you can get someone to be with you.

She took ages to come round after the GA, the child who went in after Her was back, wide awake and bouncing around while she was still fast asleep. Apparently this is common, some children really need to sleep it off.

We stayed in overnight as it was very late when she finally woke up and they wanted to seen her eat before we could come home. I would say take all the pain killers they give her to keep the pain down. It wasn't a good night BUT it has been like a miracle op. She breathes easier, hears better, sleeps well and eats better.

The recovery after discharge was fine, they said keep her off school for 2 weeks but after the first she was climbing the walls. I did keep her fully dosed on paracetamol and ibuprofen for that first week, but scaled it back when she seemed so perky.

I really hope this helps you prepare. Good luck x

My ds has had general anaesthetic a few times, not for this op, but other procedures. It is horrible to have to wait, and very hard to see them going to sleep, but as others have said - worth it for the benefits.

A little boy I know has just had the 3rd of 3 ops to have adenoids and tonsils out,grommets in and a palate repair - it has made such a huge difference to him. Much less drooling, better speech, easier to eat and drink, better sleep and just an all round brighter boy.

I found it very hard when ds came round from the general, as he was quite distressed and disorientated.

stay calm, stay strong.

posted too soon

...time to brood about what was in store. He was perfectly fine, and a much changed child.

The only thing I would say (and don't fret, not every child is the same) but my db really didn't want to know me at all when i collected him from recovery, the ga left him a bit down when he came round. Half an hour later and he wouldn't be parted from me, which was the norm.

Don't stress over the op, take a book with you, and once it is over (and the next few days of healing) you will cherish the changes in your dd.

No advice, but just been to consultant with our ds same age for same thing. We're booked in for next fri.

I'm just relieved we're finally getting something done & looking forward to her life improving. Her development & confidence have been so affected that I know it's neccessary.

Hand holding from here.

Thank you all so much for your reassuring words. I am taking them all in

If it's any help at all - I had countless GA's as a child. It may look horrible but honestly, it isn't horrible. You feel absolutely nothing, just tired- Your limbs turn heavy and before you even remember going to sleep you are awake again in recovery. Good luck and I hope this is A major improvement in her life