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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to expect friends not to try and wreck my new carpets?

20 replies

bferrymum · 17/03/2015 19:34

We had new carpets fitted around 4 weeks ago. Prior to this we had threadbare, stained, not fitting the edges of the room horrors and reluctantly we decided to have the whole ground floor recarpeted at quite a cost to us

Firstly, a friend came around and changed her sons dirty nappy right in the Middle of the living room - he's 6 months ish so was wriggling round and I was having to stop my eyes boring into the side of her head while she did it!

Then, a different friend was round today and when feeding time came for her little one (around 7 months) she just plonked herself on the carpet, sat baby in front of her and started feeding the Orange mush while baby's arms were flailing round whacking the spoon and she was blowing orange mush raspberries..aaaahh

I have a high hair she could have used and wipe able floor mats the other grind could have used but I felt like I couldn't say anything for fear of being labelled neurotic about the new carpets?

OP posts:

OstentatiousBreastfeeder · 17/03/2015 19:39

It probably is neurotic, after all carpets are supposed to be walked and lived on and my kids would stain them quicker than any guest, but I'd feel the same.

Pyjamasandwine · 17/03/2015 19:39

Oh op totally totally agree.

We had new carpets recently and quite frankly I went slightly mad.

All cups of tea on trays. I hovered over the teens and shouted shoes off like a banchee as soon as the key turned in the door.

Are they scotch guarded? It does work.

However your friends are rude. You could ban children from your house.

ShanVanVocht · 17/03/2015 19:39

They shouldn't but really its up to you to say something, its your house, your carpets.

KeepsTrying · 17/03/2015 19:39

Surprising behaviour from both of them really - even if they would do that at home I think most people can grasp that many people are protective of their carpet, especially new ones!

In those situations I would have probably grabbed a towel and ask them to put it underneath the babies and made light of it by saying I was still precious about my carpets are they are still so new and perfect.

Yes, you could have said something - nicely, and that would have been perfectly acceptable and not neurotic.

ShatnersBassoon · 17/03/2015 19:40

I have no sympathy, sorry. You should have spoken up. Why would you silently watch someone get poo and orange mush on your carpet, no matter how new it is?

Of course they should have had the sense not to do those things, but you could have casually suggested they slide a changing mat under the baby, or used the high chair.

Purplepoodle · 17/03/2015 19:41

No is would be raging. The nappy thing - ok kind of it happens. Feeding baby without a chair on carpet - who does that

WhereYouLeftIt · 17/03/2015 19:41

"I felt like I couldn't say anything for fear of being labelled neurotic about the new carpets?"
You're supposed to be neurotic about new carpets surely ?

It's OK to say to your friends 'Oy, new carpets! Use a mat/highchair/hazmat suit!'

They were being a bit thoughtless, did they really not notice the new carpet they were plonking the children onto?

FishWithABicycle · 17/03/2015 19:42

If they are your friends, you can say - "can I just slip this mat under DCname to protect the carpet?". If you fear the consequences of saying that, then they aren't your friends. If you bought carpets in plain cream that will show up the slightest mark, or didn't buy stain resistant carpets that you'd happily be able to wipe the occasional splatter from, you bought the wrong carpets.

Roobix04 · 17/03/2015 19:47

It's so annoying that just because things are supposed to be used that people think they can be abused! Especially new things.
We finally got a new sofa after years of having a crappy second hand one. My 17yo sister stood on it to reach a plug socket. I said "Hey bitch off the sofa!" in a jokey way trying not to be snappy and she laughed and told me not to be precious. I looked her in the eye and told her she was not to stand on my new sofas and to respect other people's things!

QTPie · 17/03/2015 19:49

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Metalguru · 17/03/2015 19:49

Yanbu! I have a no shoes rule, but people ignore it, or think if they walk really quickly that's the same as not wearing shoes!? I even had someone who trod mud into my hallway say to me, "see, this is why I would never get beige carpets" as if it were my own fault. Ffs!

sunnydaylucy · 17/03/2015 19:52

YANBU, I remember just having new carpets when a friend brought her toddler round, she proceeded to let him walk around my house and up stairs with a Philadelphia sandwich smearing it everywhere. I didn't say anything either, just fumed about it & didn't invite them back for ages (until PFB had trashed them!!).
I would mention new carpets to visitors on the way in & perhaps get some of those blue overshoes in a box near the door

Bettercallsaul1 · 17/03/2015 19:59

In future, I would just be ready to leap in with a cheery "Oh, hang on a sec, I 'll just get the highchair out/get a towel for the carpet!" as you see a friend poised to feed or change her little one. Just state it matter-of-factly as if there's no alternative and don't be aplogetic or go into explanations - after all, what you're expecting is very, very reasonable! You'll find that your confident tone of voice will make them pause and desist and they will accept your way on future visits.

Start as you mean to go on - that way things are clear and you are not sitting there stewing with unspoken wrath as your friends' children do terrible things to your precious new floor coverings!

missusdaly · 17/03/2015 20:26

Ugh MetalGuru I am SO with you. BIL once visited with gf and kids and his youngest picked up an ornament - my DS had bought for our baby - and broke it. Did he say sorry? No. Never has. What he did say was "Shouldn't have let her have it." Oh, I didn't realise it was up to me to mind your kids aswell as my own.

Although it wasn't the first time one of his broke something of ours so maybe I should have ignored my 5 month old in order to babysit his kids.

PeppermintCrayon · 17/03/2015 20:28

You should have said something. "Please don't do that on the new carpet - use this."

ohbollocks2u · 17/03/2015 20:32

Omg no say something

I remember a friend who thought it would be ok to let her 4 children run round my newly carpeted house in fecking dirty wellies . No it bloody wasn't

Springtulip · 17/03/2015 20:38

People never fail to amaze me. To change a nappy, feed a baby in someone's house where it couldn't fail to be noticed new carpets are down is shocking. How bloody rude and thoughtless. Next time I'd make sure they knew it's not acceptable.

NotOnMyWatchOhNo · 17/03/2015 20:42

Why wouldn't you say something though?

Fleecyleesy · 17/03/2015 20:45

I'd wonder whether they were actually my friends. Over the years, I've got a bit fed up with people's abuse of my property and meet out of the house where possible.

CrabbyTheCrabster · 17/03/2015 21:18

Have you lost your voice?? Why not just say something to the people in question?

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