Feeling insecure

9 replies

london13 · 16/03/2015 23:32

Has anyone had experience of feeling really insecure in a relationship. I've been with my partner for about a year, so you would think by now I'd feel more comfortable. I don't have any solid reason for feeling insecure, but I still do .
I've been on a couple of evenings out with his work folk and the conversation is pretty risque ,with them talking about cheating on people etc which made me feel more uncomfortable
Wish I could just snap out of it but I don't seem to be able to Anyone got any tips?

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honeyroar · 16/03/2015 23:49

Are there any reasons why you feel insecure? Has he said/done anything? Is it carried over from a previous relationship? I think gut instincts are often right though.

Original poster

london13 · 17/03/2015 00:00

I'm absolutely positive that he hasn't cheated . He occasionally makes comments that make me question things
I'm usually good at reading people and I just wish that I felt more chilled out and secure Noone has cheated on me previously but my Dad had an affair years ago , so I'm unsure if that has had an effect on me .
Apart from the insecurity thing, my partner is an ideal match , so I wish I could completely trust him

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TowerRavenSeven · 17/03/2015 04:21

What kind of comments is he making?

OddBodkins · 17/03/2015 07:01

When you were out with his friends and they were talking about cheating on people what was he saying? His reaction to that will be quite revealing I think.

notsolovely · 17/03/2015 07:17

It possibly could be your dad that is making you think like this. Especially if, when thinking rationally, you know he is cheating. The reason I say this is because of my mum. When she was 19, 4 months before she married my dad, she found out her 'perfect' father was having an affair and had had them previously. Her dad is a dick tbh, verbally and emotionally abusive. But she held him on a pedestal. It permanently damaged her. For the last 43 years she has constantly accused my dad of cheating although, deep down she knows he hasn't. Even last week, he was at my house and we left our mobiles in the kitchen. When I picked mine up there was 33 missed calls from her on mine and 56 on his. I rang her and she was saying dad was with another woman. I told her he was with me and had been for a couple of hours. She knew he was but because she couldn't get hold of him, her brain when straight to 'he is cheating', this happens all the time and has done for as long as I can remember. Sorry for the long post. Just trying to get over the effect a parents cheating can have.

notsolovely · 17/03/2015 07:18

especially if, when thinking rationally, you know he ISN'T cheating

Original poster

london13 · 17/03/2015 07:40

Thanks for the replies ...when we were with his work colleagues at a dinner,they were going round the table asking questions like ' has anyone ever cheated on a partner'
The atmosphere was very light hearted and he was laughing away ,as everyone else was ,but given that I'm insecure, the conversation made me feel uncomfortable
When I was talking to him later about it , he said it's just normal banter for a night out .I said that I've been on millions of nights out but hadn't experienced that type of conversation
Thanks for the post about a dad cheating
I do wonder if this is contributing ....as my mind also always jumps to the worst case scenario

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notsolovely · 17/03/2015 07:49

I worked in several offices where the conversations were similar to this on a night out. I never liked it. I am quite pri ate anyway and wouldn't want work people knowing something that personal. But plenty did have these conversations, pretty sure they were usually started by the office busybody everytime.

Original poster

london13 · 17/03/2015 08:55

Thanks.... it's reassuring to know that this isn't totally unusual banter then Just found it a bit unnerving at the time..

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