To expect my ex to help DS do some of his homework??

[Aliiiii]

That's it really

Ex and I haven't been together for over 7 years, we have a DS age nearly 10

DS goes to his dads every other weekend, on one weekend he doesn't pick him up until the Saturday as DS plays footie

I don't send what I would call 'meatier' homework ie maths and literacy that would take in excess of half an hour/hour to do
I send him with his reading book, to read 2 lots of ten pages and 15 spellings to learn

DS came back yday having only read once and no spellings looked at, apparently ex said 'I've only had you 24 hours so were not doing it'

I have discussed this with DS and pointed out that it is his responsibility to do his homework but I would hope his dad would be more helpful!

We don't have a great relationship (me n ex) I can't stand him and for lots of reasons he is a knob i wish daily that he would fuck the fuck off to fuck off island and stay there!
Also when we split he moved himself away and is now a 2hr drive away!

YANBU to think that a decent parent would do this. However, since he's not, I think working on your DS to do it will help the situation and his developing skills.

Does he help on the longer weekends?

Yanbu I would tell him if he wants to have weekday access then he needs to make sure all HW s completed.

in some ways I can kind of see your ex's point in so much as he is seeing ds so infrequently that spending time learning spellings is quite a bind when he only sees him for 24 hours eow.

that said it shouldn't all be down to you and he does need to do some. I would suggest going through the type of homework ds gets woth your ex. at my dsc's school it is set on a Thursday and due in the following Tuesday, and they get pretty much the same sorts of activities every week. I would say spellings is a particularly hard one to leave for the 24 hours he is with his dad and actually a 20 minute literacy activity might be a better option as ds could do it before bed or when he first wakes up in the morning.

talk to your ex - and hope that he decides to be reasonable about it

That's a lot of driving time. Could he do his reading and spellings during the ride?

Well, the boring, hard bits are part of parenting too so he needs to do it. You'd imagine he'd want to see his son's educational progress for himself.

Thank you all for your replies
I do get that having him for a shorter time on one of his weekends makes it tough but to me if your a decent parent you would be more helpful but he's not so there ya go!
I had a long chat with DS about it all yday when he came back so hopefully he will take the initiative to at least do his reading
Yday on the way back here he did do the one bit of reading but DS can suffer badly with travel sickness so that's prob not the best option
On the fuller weekend so far he has done his spellings but only one lot of reading!
I just get so frustrated with it all!!

It's just a horrid attitude to have and making homework very negative to your DSs ears. He could make it fun, be positive and enjoy watching his son learn and grow. YANBU. An hour out of a weekend, even a short one is not a big ask.

Yes he should help with the homework, but can't your son see his father for longer than 24 hours once a fortnight ?

I completely agree with you op, surely sitting down together and doing homework, or any other activity, Is all quality time together.

24 hours isnt a long time and if he has to do an hour of that doing spelling homework is a high % of his time sleeping at 10y is about 10 hows roughly so only 14 hours of active contact so more than 10% of his total active contact time is spent doing spelling cant you get him up earler on a saturday morning and do it than? or on a friday night