AIBU to give back the present?

[Joolsy]

OH & SIL fell out a month or so back and OH says he never wants to see her again. I popped round to see her with the DDs as I still wanted DDs to have contact with her & their cousins (her sons), even though I felt she was in the wrong. She was fine with me but texted me after to say not to come round again as "it reminds me of how much your OH has hurt me". DD2's bday is coming up and I've a feeling she may pop a present over for her, even though she's never really shown any interest in them, apart from Christmas when she goes over the top with presents for them. If she turns up with a present WIBU to hand it back? DDs never mention her but I feel they miss their cousins.

Accept the present graciously, the fallout is nothing to do with your respective children and maybe it will keep the door open towards a reconciliation between your OH and his sister.

If she your partner's sister or your brother's wife?

My nana fell out with my aunt many years ago. As nana lived with us the whole family was banned from seeing aunt & my cousin. I was really, really upset as I'd been close to him. It was a couple of years before it resolved and we'd all moved on a bit. Relationships were never quite the same.

I think DCs can be a bridge, you say your girls miss their cousins so it would be a pity to return the gift.

I think you should do whatever OH asks - it's his family and you should support his decisions.

Thanks for the advice. She is OH's sister. I don't think my OH would mind if we kept the present. I don't like the idea of my DDs not ever seeing their cousins again, though their cousins are almost at the age where they can decide for themselves. I just don't like the idea of SIL not wanting me & the girls to visit -she is involving those who have nothing to do with it. When it first happened she rang & screamed down the phone to me "if he (OH) is going to play dirty I'll never see you or the girls again!" That really hurt.