friend stonewalling me in group situation

[calmseeker]

I have a friend who attends a sports club I go to most Sundays with my young son. She is friendly with another woman there and when I sit with them she sort of blanks me when talking to the other woman. I do not go and sit with them without being invited and actually get on well with the other woman. I sat with them today, along with a couple of other people and she sort of turned sideways and made no eye contact with me whilst talking to others. I like going to this club and I find it really upsetting. She is quite a reactionary person so I would find it hard to be direct to her about this.

Op she is not a friend if she is treating you and your children that way. I would treat her similarly, and talk to the others. Or avoid them when at the sports club and do your own thing. Yes give the party a miss, if she is treating you that way, why the hell is she inviting you to a party!

Op I woulden't even confront her, when you go to the sports centre, don't have anything to do with them, do your own thing and go. Yes it is a massive dealbreaker, whatever excuse, it is rude and awful behaviour on her part.

I wouldn't bother confronting her either. She sounds like the type who will say you are imagining it or that you're being oversensitive.

Just stop considering her as a friend, be polite if you see her, and move on.

I agree this is a form of bullying, and I know someone who does this - it is very hard to deal with.

I would also avoid her altogether if you can. If you do have to see her, smile say 'hi' and move on past. I don't think it's worth confronting her.

I go to the sport club regularly. Staying there and allowing my child to play there is (apart from this friend's behaviour) one of the few times I can relax with other adults.My son is now at an age where he is beginning to go of and play with other children for an hour or two without any major dramas. I am reluctant to give up this time because of my friend's rudeness. Giving up this aspect of my social life and relaxation would be a bit of a hardship for both my son and I. I do know other people there and my son does know other children whom he plays with so I am going to have to bite the bullet and get on with sitting with others. That is what I have been doing and it is awkward but I am unwilling to stop this socialising and relative relaxation because someone is behaving like this. I am a single parent.

Nobody is telling you not to go because of this woman's rudeness, just go, do what you are doing, don't socialise with them.

Why not just go and take the sunday newspaper magazines? I often read when I'm at the park/kids lessons etc when my friends are around the place. You don't have to not go because of this person, that would be silly!

If you are sitting somewhere the chances are people who are nice will come and join you and you won't feel like you are imposing yourself on them Everyone loves a sunday supplement.

Sorry you're going through this OP. This woman is clearly not friend! I allowed a person to treat me like this for years before finally seeing sense. Don't approach her, don't engage her and don't let her see for one minute that she is bothering you. She is a bully and a narc and ignoring her will take away her power. I feel so much better since taking this approach. And definitely don't confront her as she will just deny it. Next time, take a nice coffee, a good book and pretend she doesn't exist! X

I posted upthread and just wanted to say that I understand OP. There's a woman who joined our group of playground mums and she gets on well with someone I'd been friends with for a long time before she came on the scene. She deliberately goes out of her way to exclude me from things (for no apparent reason I hasten to add!). Meanwhile, original friend does include me and there are invariably situations where we end up in the same place at the same time. Original friend either can't or won't see the newcomer's true colours. It is incredibly frustrating but I console myself with the fact that one day, she'll trip herself up. She has a very sly side - eg will always respond to group texts and FB posts, but never ever to anything I send individually. Rise above it OP. She's the one in the wrong.

It's so miserable having to deal with people like this . I have also had experience of this but it was someone I worked with who was also a friend. It got ridiculous. It's really unpleasant, nasty behaviour. I called her out on it in the end after a long chat with my DH. He felt people like that need to be challenged, not in an aggressive way but certainly as a means of letting them know that their behaviour is unacceptable. Passive aggressive bullying. No major issues since although she can still be a PITA from time to time.

I've met a couple of people like this. It almost certainly won't be just you getting this treatment - there was one in my circle of friends (before I knew them) and it took them well over a year to speak up to each other about it and realise that most of them had endured that treatment from her. Needless to say them all distanced themselves then.

I agree - distance yourself send regrets about the party.

Maybe she has made a load of stuff up to impress the other friend which she knows you know isn't true and is worried that if you become too involved in the conversation you might "out" her?!! Either way, she sounds like an asshole, ditch the bitch I say and move on