Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WIBU to (attempt to) slam my hospital room door shut?

23 replies

HistoriaTrixie · 15/03/2015 20:54

Sorry, it's a bit long but I figured the backstory was necessary :) I had to come to hospital Thursday night on suspicion of a heart attack. I hadn't had one, but I was kept in for further testing as was found to be (doctor's words) "alarmingly anemic". I've been getting iron and B12 injections, other meds, regular blood testing (visited every 4 hours by the ladies I affectionately call my vampire visitors) and vital sign monitoring, so I'm not able to sleep straight through at any point - just 2-3 hour naps. I have an OGD Monday noonish, then that's it for the testing and hopefully home for suppertime. I'm in the US, so hospitals here are largely double rooms instead of wards. I've got one to myself at the moment (roommate was discharged yesterday), but the patient next room over is an elderly lady with (at least) two sons, who like to discuss and disagree over their Mum's care plan in the hallway right outside my room, and therein lies the problem.

They were discussing her care last night while I was trying to catch a bit of sleep, and I heard far, FAR too much of her personal information, illness and prognosis (sadly not good). I mean, I got so much information I was embarrassed FOR her; if I knew anyone had got that much information on me I'd be mortified. Then the sons decided to have a bicker over what to do next. Fortunately, one of the vampire ladies came in so I just asked her to shut the door on the way out - the doors are usu. open as it can get quite close in here.

They started the same thing again this afternoon (only before fighting about Mum, one of them stood there on a business call for ~30 minutes, then after the brotherly slapfight they started talking about what their kids were doing with various sports and clubs) and with no nurse, aide, vampire lady or dietary worker to rescue me, I got out of the bed, adjusted my gown (v. necessary as accidentally flashed my cardiologist a nipple earlier today - there's a pocket in the gown that holds the cardio monitor and the slit at the top is straight through the gown if you can picture it), went to the door, peeked my head out with an expression like Angry and [sceptical] combined, looked each of them dead in the eye and...well, the intent was to slam the door, but instead I just shut it as firmly as the anti-slam mechanism allowed.

I mean, I definitely understand that their Mum is likely passing very soon and it does demand discussion and people will be emotional, but there are two lounges at least on each floor, plus "quiet rooms" available for families to discuss care. And the business call was just right beyond the pale. I mean, if you're in a hallway in a hospital, with lots of doors along it that are all open, you can be pretty sure they're not empty storage closets, you know? They're rooms with people in them who may be very ill at worst, and at best they're still needing to sleep and not be disturbed.

I told my night nurse who just came on duty, and she says she'll keep an eye out and if they start again direct them to the quiet room (the nurses here are wonderful). But WIBU to have been irked and make a bit of a point?

OP posts:
giraffesNeedBigPoloNecks · 15/03/2015 20:56

not at all

get well soon x

Bogeyface · 15/03/2015 20:57

Yes and no.

YWNBU to be pissed off,YWBU to not just say "Excuse me, there are other patients in this ward who need peace and quiet. My care means I get very little sleep and your constantly disturbing what I do get, the lounge is that way."

Arseholes like that dont take hints!

Bogeyface · 15/03/2015 20:58

you're Blush

Abraid2 · 15/03/2015 20:58

People seem to forget basic manners and common sense when it comes to hospitals at night.

I hope your blood levels are back to normal soon!

RandomMess · 15/03/2015 21:02

There was a reason I refused to stay in hospital post birth - noise was the main one!!! The relief when I had to have my last op in the private hospital and got my own room Grin

Yeah possibly better to point out how they were disturbing you but YANBU to be at the end of your tether with their thoughtlessness.

Hope you are feeling better soon.

Titsalinabumsquash · 15/03/2015 21:04

YWNBU at all, I recently stayed with DS1 in a 2 bed bay and the mum of the other little girl watched tv very loudly all night, her DD was sleeping through it after a heavy anaesthetic, me and DS did not, DS sobbed because he'd had surgery and was tired very unwell, being kept up and she had the cheek to complain about him crying because she couldn't hear the film she was watching (at midnight!) ShockAngry

I hope you're discharged soon and are feeling more iron-ey and healthy. Hopefully the nurses see off loud sons to a quiet area do you can sleep. Thanks

HistoriaTrixie · 15/03/2015 21:13

Oh, thank you all, I told my DH about it when he came visiting and this was his face: Shock. I'm actually contemplating next time, walking to the door and saying quietly, "Hello, I just wanted you to know that I'm very sorry that your mother is suffering from insert the most embarrassing medical thing you can think of here but there's a bit of an echo in the hall that means all your conversations are coming straight into my room. Has your mother's nurse shown you where the family lounges or the quiet rooms are?"

But then I think that might be unnecessarily mean, because (and I hate that I know this) their Mum is likely leaving the hospital before I do, only not walking out. Sad

OP posts:
BonzoDooDah · 15/03/2015 21:13

I would just say to them to be quiet as you are ill Joe being disturbed.
Titsinaline that's terrible too. In our children's hospital they are TOTALLY strict about no noise after lights out which is 8 pm.

ChatEnOeuf · 15/03/2015 21:20

Heck, not at all. In my slightly shy and retiring fashion it'd be beyond me, but a direct 'I really don't think that's the conversation for a hallway' might ram the point home. Hope they aren't one of those families that complain about privacy later...

AmyLeeha · 15/03/2015 21:22

Do you have a buzzer for the nurse? If it happens again, why not call the nurse and ask her to deal with them?

BigamusButticus · 15/03/2015 21:26

Yanbu but also have a word with the ward sister

I always end up on bays with dementia patients and end up as an unpaid hca even though I'm really unwell myself so never rest and always discharge early against medical advice in order to rest!

Get well soon!

HistoriaTrixie · 15/03/2015 21:36

BigamusButticus we don't have ward sisters as such over here, there's a 'charge nurse' who is basically like the ward sister/head nurse for the unit but also has patients of her own. (Also, you must get this all the time, but I just HAVE to: Have you met my friend Biggus Dickus and his lovely wife Incontinentia Buttocks?)

I do have a buzzer for the nurse but she's in here checking on me so often I hate to call her separately, you know? I talked to her about it earlier and she's going to keep an eye on the hallway so I think if they start again she'll gently redirect them. She said something about wondering if they'd been shown the lounges too, so maybe she'll have a word with their Mum's nurse.

OP posts:
HistoriaTrixie · 15/03/2015 21:39

Oh, and also I'm on the Telemetry ward - I'm 43 and by far the youngest here. There's a lady with dementia down the hall - we'll call her Veronica - and she's a bit of a runner, haha! Every so often I hear, "Veronica, honey, where are you off to now?"

OP posts:
jemimapuddleduck208 · 15/03/2015 23:03

YABU. It's a hospital, not a hotel or your personal bedroom. You don't get to metaphorically hang a "do not disturb" sign on the door. Or perhaps you do in the States where you pay for healthcare and the "customer is always right", I don't know.

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 15/03/2015 23:14

I think you did the right thing, speaking to the nurse.

Hopefully the nurse directs them to a more appropriate place to talk.

Love the biggus dickus sketch.

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 15/03/2015 23:15

m.youtube.com/watch?v=2K8_jgiNqUc

For those who hasn't seen it worth the watch

Abraid2 · 17/03/2015 07:51

That's right, it's a hospital. Sick people are lying in those beds, needing peace and quiet so they can rest and sleep.

We get my father home from hospital, aged 84, completely wrecked when he has been in. Because thoughtless family come in all hours and talk loudly and take calls and he can't sleep.

We need fierce matrons who protect their patients' interests and eject people who don't know how to behave.

Icimoi · 17/03/2015 09:16

jemimapuddleduck208, you never seem to come on to these threads other than to attack people. In a hospital where, you know, people are ill, it is indeed entirely reasonable to ask visitors not to disturb the patients. Suppose it were someone else having these loud discussions outside the dying patient's door? I suspect the sons would object strongly.

ItsAllKickingOffPru · 17/03/2015 09:36

YANBU. I got told off for shutting my door when I was in having DS (long, long stay). Couldn't do a lot about the crying babies, but the visitors stopping to chat outside and the girl who wanted to pop in frequently to talk did my head in. I told the midwives they couldn't see me from the corridor even with the door open so if they wanted to check on me they would have to come in anyway.

I hope you are out of there soon Flowers

GoldenBeaches · 17/03/2015 14:58

Gosh if you can't recover in peace how on earth are you meant to make a speedy full recovery. After my hysterectomy I was put on a ward and it was dreadful. The lady next to me was sobbing all night and I called a nurse for her because she was obviously in horrendous pain. They dosed her up but she still cried. I felt so sorry for her.
I was so desperate to get out of there I was up and dressed and ready to go the next day after my op.
Yanbu op and I hope you recover quickly. Flowers

gobbin · 17/03/2015 15:41

YADNBU. I had emergency surgery last Jun and started off in a 10 bed ward (old 9-bedder with an extra bed squeezed in, all full) which wasn't a problem hey, I got a bed and the op I needed. I was off my tree on morphine so was comatose most of the time anyway, far less chatty than before when I've been in a multi-bed ward.

After a week I got transferred to the colorectal unit and was offered a choice of two single rooms. It was fantastic and the biggest factor in my recovery. Every time people came in and went out they asked if I wanted the door left open or not. "Closed please!" Fucking bliss. Actually got some sleep.

Have got another bowel op due soon which is planned so am hoping I'll be on the same ward - all rooms are single or 4s, no 9s.

HistoriaTrixie · 17/03/2015 18:40

Oh my gosh, I think I'd implode in a nine-bed ward. One of my nurses and I were talking about our childrens' deliveries in fairly graphic detail and we laughed over how you could basically parade the offensive line from (insert your favorite sports team here) through the room during a birth/GYN exam and we wouldn't notice, but there are parts of a hospital stay where I just can NOT handle anyone else seeing. (which is why I spent a terrible three days trying to give them a poo sample).

At any rage, I've had my OGD and am home now, with a diagnosis of hiatal hernia, gastritis and duodenitis, all manageable with medication and none life-threatening. Very relieved! Thank you for telling me I was NBU and I'll leave you with this bit of amusement - there are all sorts of posters up in the halls and by the elevators. Here in the USA March is apparently colon cancer awareness month so there's a poster or two with the attention-getting title in large letters: "WHAT'S UP YOUR BUTT?" but what REALLY cracked me up and got me laughing was, as I exited the room and turned round to wish my roommate good luck, I saw the sign that was on the wall next to where the sons had stood talking. At eye level. The whole time I'd been there, according to the nurse.

It was a vertical acronym with a pic of a lady in a nurse's cap shushing:

"Silent
Hospitals
Help
Healing

SHHHH! Our patients need quiet for recovery. Lounges can be found at either end of the hall near the elevators."

OP posts:
HistoriaTrixie · 17/03/2015 18:41

Oh dear. At any RATE!! RATE. Not rage. I am significantly less rageful now. Grin

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page