Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

The Wank Sock. A True Thing, or an Urban Myth?

132 replies

HirplesWithHaggis · 15/03/2015 20:20

Chatting this afternoon, the topic of the Wank Sock arose. I have young adult sons in their 20's, my friend has an 18yo boy. While they all do their own laundry these days, my friend and I recall the days of the balled-up socks randomly distributed around the room, which we just chucked into the washing machine and unballed when clean, for fear of, well... biological samples tbh. And I don't mean snot. Blush

But realistically, how would one use a wank sock? Would it be placed upon the member like an overgrown, ill-fitting condom, or just used to catch flying fish? If the former, wouldn't rubbing yer delicate man membranes with trainer-sweaty cotton/wool/polyester/blend of same be a bit sore? I mean, gently caressing with clean silk, I can see a certain frisson there, but teenage boys don't often own silk socks. Confused

If the latter, why socks, specifically? Why not T shirts, underwear, or the more traditional (if less environmentally-friendly) Andrex Man Size? (Other brands and sizes, including pocket,are available.)

AIBU to think the wank sock is no more real than the Tooth Fairy?

(Yes, recent NC, been around for a while though.)

OP posts:
HirplesWithHaggis · 15/03/2015 21:49

Put it back in the drawer oh, total boaksville...

OP posts:
Whatutalkinboutwillis · 15/03/2015 21:56

Pmsl about wank mittens!!

DirtyDancing · 15/03/2015 22:02

Google cum tray then you'll really be shocked!

ItsaTenfromDen · 15/03/2015 22:04

DH has loads of odd socks! I wonder if he's been binning the used ones :0

HirplesWithHaggis · 15/03/2015 22:08

I googled cum tray. I found the Stool cum tray table, which is neither as interesting nor as scatological as one might anticipate. :(

OP posts:
dalekanium · 15/03/2015 22:08

I had aFWB Who used to do this

He claimed to roll 3 socks together for an ahem, tighter experience. And his dad, who did the washing often used to wonder loudly about all the odd socks in the wash...

Boak

HirplesWithHaggis · 15/03/2015 22:11

DGS has loads of odd socks, but he's only 5. So that may be entirely innocent.

OP posts:
Ataraxy · 15/03/2015 22:20

You may write 'don't google cum boxers' but I read "google it, now, this instance, dotitdoitdoit". So I did.

My stomach is now spasming is utter horror while I try not to hurl my insides out. Whoever has it, pass the brain bleach over here quickly.

HirplesWithHaggis · 15/03/2015 22:25

Cum boxers deffo worse... Envy In fact, that is spectacularly vile. Why, just why?

OP posts:
LadyDeadpool · 15/03/2015 22:26

I warned you Sad now it'll pop into your head at random hugely inappropriate moments and you'll do that whole body shudder and remember to listen next time.

avocadotoast · 15/03/2015 22:28

I know of a guy who kept an old tshirt under his pillow. It came out when he needed to catch the, um, proceeds of the deed. As far as I know it never got washed

iamusuallybeingunreasonable · 15/03/2015 22:36

Surely even a teenage boy could pop to the bathroom and grab some loo roll, what kind of depraved beasts are you lot raising?!

Ataraxy · 15/03/2015 22:41

Pah I wish I would listen LadyDeadpool. Blush

BadLad · 15/03/2015 22:57

Never heard of the idea or the posh wank before reading about them on here. News to all my friends with whom I've discussed the matter too.

The nearest I've come (ho ho) to this is using a pair of boxers when the strategically placed box of tissues has run out.

CakeUpWall · 15/03/2015 23:35

Bloody hell LadyDeadpool, I googled. Shit. Will I never learn?

I actually feel physically sick.

missusdaly · 16/03/2015 00:00

Socks are too small, we use old towels/t shirts.

SinisterBuggyMonth · 16/03/2015 00:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HirplesWithHaggis · 16/03/2015 00:28

Missusdaly, if "we" are using it, it's not a wank. Wink DH and I have never used a sextowel/tshirt, oh no Wouldn't much fancy sticking a worn sock close to my nether regions, tbh. Well, maybe the leg part...

SinisterBuggyMonth, what a brilliant name. Are you a left-handed person? You have a talent for imagery! Grin

OP posts:
SinisterBuggyMonth · 16/03/2015 00:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GettingFiggyWithIt · 16/03/2015 00:43

Thought it was when you had run out of bog roll and needed to clean up so as not to ruin your duvet...
Wank socks wank shirts wank pants
I just live with a dirty wanker eh?!

HirplesWithHaggis · 16/03/2015 00:50

From the thread, it would appear most teenage boys aren't too bothered about ruining/not ruining the duvet. That would be why I bought both sons new bedclothes when they moved out...

OP posts:
GallicGarlic · 16/03/2015 00:56

EXH used cotton hankies

Both my husbands insisted on proper handkerchiefs! I could never understand how they got so crusty, even when they didn't have a cold.

How thick am I?!

MisterDobalina · 16/03/2015 01:37

I found the wank mitten thing.

From this thread.

"My friend's Mum got so sick of him leaving deposits everywhere as a teenager that she knitted (yes, knitted) him a little mitten to mop up after himself. She then washed it weekly and put it on his bed all nicely ironed. This is no joke. It did eradicate the wanky tissues scenario, though."

christinarossetti · 16/03/2015 02:00

CBA to Google, but I bet there are a few tweely named home made craft shops on e-bay that supply these, under the guise of a 'giant egg cosy' or the like.

Even personaliard for a few extra,quid.

christinarossetti · 16/03/2015 02:03

Called something like 'Every Day Pleasures'.

Swipe left for the next trending thread