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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have got irritated at TWO separate Mothers today?

25 replies

MrsFlannel · 15/03/2015 18:40

Shop 1. Mother has toddler...tiny little boy of about 18 months but walking around the shops nicely.

She's given him a pack of donuts to carry and he keeps dropping them....over and over he dropped them...because he was TINY and carrying them was a bit of an issue as he staggery walked round the shop.

She seemed to be following me (I know she wasn't really) around the small shop and a constant stream of instruction came from her mouth as he kept dropping the donuts....over and over he dropped the packet...

"Thomas pick them up....pick them up Thomas....Thomas if you don't pick them up then we can't pay for them and then you won't be able to eat them will you? Pick them up Thomas....Thomas pick them up....pick them up....Thomas....pick up the donuts"

I'd leave her looking at the loo rolls and run off to the biscuits whereupon she (and Thomas) would appear...he still dropping the donuts repeatedly.

"Thomas...pick up the donuts...pick them up Thomas."

Come on. Tell me AIBU for wishing she'd just carry the bastards herself!

Then later in M&S a woman was trying to get her toddler who seemed to be called Valenchina...to try on some shoes.

"Valenchina....come on princess...try the shoes on....you must try on the shoes...Valenchina look! They're pretty! Try them on?"

While Valenchina ran around the rails shrieking. Why didn't she just sit the child down and stick one on her foot FGS!!!

Sorry. I was trying to have a quiet browse round the shops on my own (Mothers day treat) and they both drove me mad!!

OP posts:

WipsGlitter · 15/03/2015 18:43

I know someone with a child called Valentina - wonder if it was her?!

FuckItBucket · 15/03/2015 18:43

Quiet browse on a weekend? Didn't quite think that one through

I could have been Thomas' mum. My son used to kick off if I tried to carry something he wanted. All I could do to stop him kicking off was tell him to either carry it his self or he isn't getting it

Anything for an easy life

Original poster

MrsFlannel · 15/03/2015 18:45

Wips it seemed to be pronounced ValenCHIna though?

OP posts:

Tinofroses · 15/03/2015 18:48

Yabu in it's not easy to shop with toddlers and donot lady was probably trying to keep him quiet but I completey understand where you are coming from. I was in John Lewis one day and a pretentious couple with their pretentious children followed me around. Pretentious children were being pretty well behaved but a little on the noisy side and pretentious mummy and daddy were saying now tommy I will give you 3 warnings , I'm counting warning number 1, then I heard warning number 2 . Parents were very loud and worse than the kids noisiness . The whole area if the shop heard them. It was ultra annoying. Unfortunately don't know what happened then as I left

GoofyIsACow · 15/03/2015 18:48

I extected this thread to be about me tbh, i have had a fucking stressful day with three grumpy, tired, obtuse children. I almost got to the level of posting on the 'completely lost your shit' thread.

A quiet browse was never going to happen!

BlinkAndMiss · 15/03/2015 18:49

YABU for expecting a quite browse round the shops on a weekend. YABVU and judgemental about parents who were probably just trying to get things done. Most toddlers need to keep busy in shops, they're also public places so if you don't like sharing a space with children and their parents (who are probably just trying to get their shopping done in the easiest way possible) then stay at home and browse online.

Original poster

MrsFlannel · 15/03/2015 18:50

Blink chill the feck out love! You sound uber serious. For what is obviously a light hearted thread.

OP posts:

pantsjustpants · 15/03/2015 18:50

Was Thomas's mummy doing loud parenting? That drives me nuts....

I also don't understand people that ask toddlers to do something that they definitely won't want to do. Dh is constantly guilty of this. So getting Ds dressed, for instance, takes three times as long while he waits for Ds to come to him etc etc.

pantsjustpants · 15/03/2015 18:52

YANBU btw. But my little precious dc's have squabbled and fought all day!!

Original poster

MrsFlannel · 15/03/2015 18:52

Pants yes she was. It was loud and it seemed to be for everyone else's benefit somehow!

It IS the whole asking a tiny child to do something they won't want to that winds me up too!

OP posts:

FuckItBucket · 15/03/2015 18:55

Not sure how telling a child to pick soemthing is loud parenting.

How do you know he didn't want to do it? Did you ask him?

My son would have screamed blue murder if I went to pick soemthing up he threw or appeared he didn't want. Because toddlers are petty weird things

BallsToThat · 15/03/2015 18:58

Were you terribly bored?

'Parents have very mild struggles wth toddler behaviout' SHOCKER!

AwfulBeryl · 15/03/2015 19:03

I have been Thomas' s Mum. I bet inside she was screaming FFS Thomas just pick up the fucking donuts.

Nydj · 15/03/2015 20:13

Blink chill the feck out love! You sound uber serious. For what is obviously a light hearted thread.

What an unnecessarily nasty reaction to BlinkAndMiss who was simply posting in answer to your OP.

BlinkAndMiss · 15/03/2015 20:19

Err... I'm not the one posting about stupid and irrational reactions to toddlers. If anyone needs to 'chill the fuck out' I think it may be you....

Thanks Nydj, I'm not sure why some people start posts and then have a to at people who respond. Bored perhaps? Goading?

BlinkAndMiss · 15/03/2015 20:19

*go

SharkCat · 15/03/2015 20:25

hmm strange how she wouldnt just put them in the basket or trolling, really pointless tbh

weeblueberry · 15/03/2015 20:33

I've been in a situation similar to Thomas' mum and I'm not a total bitch I swear.

DD1 was utterly DESPERATE to carry the Babybels when we picked them up and I said she'd end up dropping them and to let me do it. Cue much screaming. So I let her carry the damn things ans she made such a show and dance of dropping them and picking them up and acting as though they weighed a ton that I must have seemed like the worst mother ever to passer bys. But honestly if id taken the damn things off her it would have been the end of the world and it was easier to let her carry them...

Original poster

MrsFlannel · 15/03/2015 20:42

NYDJ It wasn't "nasty" at all! I pointed out that it was meant to be lighthearted. Perhaps YOU need to chill the feck out too!

OP posts:

dalekanium · 15/03/2015 20:46

I want a doughnut now

ChunkyPickle · 15/03/2015 20:47

TBH, you stop hearing yourself and how often you're saying something sometimes I think... probably is very annoying to other people.

DS2 would have similarly been rather miffed if I tried to carry something for him that he'd picked himself, and if I wasn't in a hurry I'd totally just let him carry it around (a few months ago he insisted on carrying the 2.5l bottle of screen wash around Halfords for me which was half his height nearly, yelled his head off if I suggested it would be better for me to carry it for him!).

Similarly, if I'm knackered but with plenty of time, I'd prefer to sit and wait for the kids to come to me rather than chase them down and force them to do something they don't really want to do.

Nydj · 15/03/2015 21:54

Maybe I do...

Charlotte3333 · 15/03/2015 22:00

My 4 year old has always flatly refused to go in trolleys at supermarkets so I was most likely one of those naggy parents when he was tiny.

Actually, scrap that, he was walking about Sainsburys with a bottle of Ribena the other day which he flatly refused to put in the trolley. Dropped it at least forty nine thousand times. I lost four years off my life expectancy on just that one trip.

PandasRock · 15/03/2015 22:08

I've been both those mothers before now.

First scenario with dd2 - she was insisting on carrying a multipack of boxes of raisins she had found in the change bag. Except the cellophane had ripped, and the boxes kept falling out. And she had to pick them up and put them back in the packet. But she couldn't because she had gloves on (in was about -5). So she took her gloves off, but then her hands were too cold. And the raisins were still falling out everywhere.

And I could not do a bloody thing. Because if I offered to pick them up, she screamed. If I left her she screamed. If I helped in any way she screamed. So we proceeded extremely slowly while she dropped/picked up/dropped/put gloves on/took them off/dropped/picked up again ad nauseam. It was not fun for anyone.

The second scenario I currently have with ds. Although he doesn't run around shrieking (until I get him to try the shoes on). He cannot cope with having any stranger near him, so measuring feet/getting shoes checked sets him right off. When it comes to trying the new ones on, he won't do it as he knows the assistant will check if they fit.

As with the situation with dd2, I know it will pass. Such is life with 2 year olds.

HouseAtreides · 15/03/2015 22:11

This was me with 2yo DS on Friday. He wants to walk then just dawdles and stops, but has a proper screeching ironing board tantrum if attempts are made to use the buggy.
I was a stuck record- "Come on, DS. Come on, DS. Come on. Speedy legs, DS. Come on. COME. ON." I wanted to punch myself in the face.
Deciding I wanted to get home before I died of old age, we had it out and I got him (with a massive fight) into the buggy, with him screaming "NOOO MUMMY NOOOO!!" all the way home. Ironically he would have sat good as gold for a packet of doughnuts!

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