Difficult situation with friend

[RogerRogerRoger]

Long time lurker, Pom bears the lot.

Having a difficult time with one of my friends and wanted a different and honest opinion!

I've recently had a bit of a run of good fortune (moving areas, new job etc) after a long period of very, very difficult times. My friends are all thrilled for me that things are seemingly turning a corner - except one. She is very negative about it, can't seem to get excited at all - in fact she hasn't smiled at me once since I got my new job. For the past few months it's been one negative or sarcastic comment after another, or me feeling like I'm treading on eggshells to not upset her about certain things. I know what I am doing is something that she would like, but it's a job where there are lots of them if you see what I mean!

Am I being unreasonable to be hurt that my friend can't be happy for me, instead turning it always onto her situation and how much she hates where she is? I've tried hard to not talk about it too much around her and be sensitive, but meeting up with mutual friends this weekend I had to share my news in front of her - plus a small part of me feels (selfishly I suppose) that I shouldn't really have to hide my news or happiness or excitement! Other people are beginning to notice too. I've also worked unbelievably hard to get where I am, both emotionally and at work and it hurts that it's being dampened down at the moment.

AIBU for feeling this way?

I can see both sides. YANBU, but maybe she doesn't realise how ridiculously she's behaving.

I think it may be worth gently calling her on it. But it may backfire.

Of course YNBU to be hurt! She doesn't sound like much of a friend to me. It does sound like you've got plenty of good friends around though, and dropping her wouldn't be any loss at all.

i wouldn't say anything to her.
you seem like a really nice thoughtful person but she doesn't care about that.
in her frame of mind, you can do no right and i suspect she will take it very badly indeed.
then you'll be made to look like the bad guy.
privately, i'd feel justified that other people have noticed her bad behaviour, but i would not say that out loud either.
do nowt.
let her dig her own grave.

I appreciate how it might be difficult to drop her if she's part of a group of friends... YA most definitely NBU. I echo pp saying you should hold your head high and hope she gets her own shit together to progress like you too. It's sad she is jealous and wants to rain on your parade rather than envying your progress and seeking advice on how you managed to do it. Sounds like she could learn a lot from you!

Well done BTW!!!

some people like it when some one is haveing a hard time like the old saying goes ; misery likes company; or something like that. if you was to tell her youve lost your job or youve had some other bad luck watch her perk up she probably be on the phone all the time wanting to know how bad things are.
(speaks from bitter experiance)

YANBU but you just get people like this. I had a "friend" who was never off the phone, literally 5 times a day, constantly bleating on about how terrible her life was, the only thing that seemed to make her feel better was if someone else was worse off. You couldn't dare tell her anything positive had happened to you because she would claim you were rubbing it in her face how much better your life was. We're not friends anymore funnily enough.

Yanbu, mabey she is having a tough time right now, mabey things are not going her way, or she is dpressed.

Thank you - I was beginning to feel guilty and think that I was not reacting in the right way. It's good to know that what I'm feeling is normal and not unreasonable!