To be finding it hard?

[Totality22]

I have DS 28 months and DD 8 weeks, and I am finding it hard.

They are individually relatively good / easy children but it's dealing with them both together I am struggling with.

Main issue is going out... Baby is ebf and seems to want to feed all the time, toddler is not yet old enough to be left without much supervision so when we go out I either end up with a screaming baby or a toddler running riot. It's just easier to stay in at the moment!!!

OH is great, he was off for a month and helped loads but I feel like such a failure. Other family members have 3 kids and they never seem to struggle as much as I do, yet I can't cope with two.

It gets easier right?

I had all these grand plans for making the most of maternity leave and some days we don't even get out??

Give yourself a break. When my DD was 8 weeks old there days when we didn't manage to get out of the house and I didn't have a toddler to run around after! Looking after a newborn and a toddler must be exhausting, especially as baby is ebf so you can't just hand her over and let someone else take over for a bit. Completely your decision obviously but would you consider expressing and seeing if she'll take a bottle so a friend/relative could give you some time to take your toddler out or, just as important, have some time to yourself?

I have no issue with expressing but baby hasn't taken a bottle since she was a week old (I had to express due to painful, bleeding nipples). We had to take toddler to A&E last week and left baby with granny for approx 4 hours.... she must have been hungry but refused bottle [granted it was formula not breast milk though]

I just feel toddler is missing out?

If your DS is missing out then so is every other child with a younger sibling. Having to share attention isnt a bad thing and he'll love having a little sister to boss around when she's old enough! It's not going to be like this forever, once your DD gets a bit older and starts going longer between feeds it will be a lot easier to go out. Don't forget your hormones are still all over the place and you're probably sleep deprived so that makes everything seem 100 times worse. If both kids are fed, sheltered and loved then you're doing great, anything else is a bonus. I don't have any helpful advice on how to encourage an ebf baby to take a bottle but I bet there some very knowledgeable ladies on here who do. Might be worth asking on one of the parenting related boards? If not, just remember it's not forever, the incessant feeding will slow down.

Is there a soft play near you? There's some really good ones where you can just plonk yourself in a corner and feed baby, and toddler can run around safely.
Yes, it does get easier.

There was only one toddler group i could go to that I could go to at this stage as other mums were amazing and more than happy to wrestle my toddler into submission while I had to feed. It does get easier. I found toddler mornings in soft play worked well as they were really quite so toddler could happily play unmolested while Velcro baby was with me.

There lots to be said for days in with different activities (or just good old dvd or ipad if it's gotten really grim). I also enrolled toddler in a play school two mornings a week 9-12 so they got some messy fun time (and I could have a snooze if Velcro baby dozed off)

Quiet that is

I have an 8 week old and a 20 month old as well. I feel the same as you. I found toddler groups are the only place I can go and feel like a can cope.