Daughter is a bully.

[Sexyhouseslippers]

Hello guys, I didn't expect to post so soon but need advice. My daughter behaviour had really improved in the few weeks and now she is misbehaving again. She has been really horrible towards people in her class and yesterday I got a call from the school to say that she had beaten up another girl in her class who I will call 'Zoe', she used to be really good friends with her but they fallen out for reason I'm not sure yet changes every time. It also not just physical bullying she bullies people in her classroom who are in a lower set or people who are not academic or sporty as her and saying nasty things about people's pictures online or telling them there work is crap etc.

I would be grateful for advice from anyone child who has been bullied or was a bully.

She sounds unhappy and as if she has low self esteem. Is she having any counselling or accessing any mentoring services?

How old is she?

I agree, she sounds very unhappy.
This behaviour does need to addressed but finding the root cause is just as important.

Aaaaah I remember your previous thread where your DP/DH was undermining your attempts to discipline your DD. Is this the same DD? How is that situation now? Are you and DH working together now? If her bullying is a recent thing it could be a reaction to firmer boundaries at home if things have improved with your DH and you are now parenting together.

Have you tried to find out the reason why your child is being so bullying? She sounds unhappy.
I was bullied at school its something you don't forget. Looking back the girl had a terrible home life and very low self esteem, all the popular girls who she trailed after called her steve. Cant of been nice for her.

She is 9 I think it is down to a mixture of things, hormones, homesickness and the LO and probably the lack of time I spend with her.

Hope you don't mind if I link your
previous thread
I think it may be relevant here as the dynamics at home were seriously messed up a few weeks ago, thanks to your DH.

DH and I are working together now some days she is really good and keeps it up and other days she is horrible.

I have heard of a formula for unhappy children of 10-20-10 where spending just ten minutes with them before school, twenty minutes after school and ten before bed can have a dramatic improvement. If you can't manage all that you could try just ten minutes a day.

It's great that you and DH are now working together. I imagine that she feels a bit displaced and unsettled by those changes even if they are much better for her in the long term. She probably feels as if she's been knocked off her perch and may resent you a bit as she was a bit "daddy's princess" before. Sometimes new boundaries can feel threatening but in the long term she will feel more secure.