To ask 7 year old DS to just play !!!

[OracleofDelphi]

DS is a wonderful boy , caring, funny, interesting but he just will not play by himself. He will play a computer game, playwith the dog and play football in the garden but that is pretty much it. He will happily help me out in the house, gardening, cooking, going on dog walks but really struggles to play imaginatively alone . DD on the other hand will happily do it all day long . He will play with her but quite often that ends in fighting .....

He does love playing with toys with friends , or puzzles/ board games with me or his dad, so j just don't get it .

AIBU to expect him to play under his own steam for an hour whilst I sort out laundry , or shall I give in and let him help ?! I have told hi. He has got to play and now he's sitting in the stairs like I'm punishing him .... DH tells me not to worry - some kids just aren't that into toys ....

There are times when ds will not play on his own so I build him a den in the living room seems to help though he will still follow me around

He will play imaginary games but I am often invoked with the plot at some point

I once took care of a child who had really not played much with other children. She had her fairly youthful grandmother for company during the day. The grandmother was one of those people who can get a house together in ten minutes a day, and had time and willingness to participate in imaginary games, so they played quite a lot.

When I knew this child she was about six and she had never developed any skills in the 'negotiating-with-her-peers' department, which is what imaginary play is really useful for. She and one of my DDs had a really rough time initially because the child expected other children to behave as her granny did -- co-operate, say her lines, pretend to be a cat/dog/dragon/fairy godmother etc. if told to, and never negotiated other ideas that were contrary to what the child wanted. The child was even inclined to be impatient if granny had to take a loo break.

So actually, if your DS does not engage in imaginary play with his friends, I would ask why. Negotiation skills are really important -- by that I mean making a case for your pov, compromising when someone else has a better idea, not sulking if nobody else wants to do things your way.

If he ends up fighting with his sister when they play together, then I would suggest giving his sister and himself suggestions or rules abut getting along and make them get used to the productive give and take of imaginary play.