To wonder if it's possible to stay neutral when friends get divorced

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Some friends of ours are going through a very messy divorce.

Lots of vitriol on both sides but we are equally friendly with both of them.

How does this work? How are on earth can you be supportive and stay out of it at the same time.

I don't think it is possible unfortunately unless it's a truly amicable divorce. Good luck trying though.

If anyone has any amazing advice on what to do when the half of the couple who is your closer friend is the one who has behaved badly, I'm all ears.

A friend left their long-term partner recently due to coming out. A while later, I get introduced to "new partner" - everything lovely and grand. Then I find out (independently) that friend was almost certainly cheating on original partner for many years with the person they have ended up with. They don't know that I've figured this out yet.

It has really knocked me that someone I thought was such a close friend is capable of such long-term, comprehensive betrayal. And knowing that they are trying to pull the wool over my and everybody else's eyes is not going down particularly well with me either. I am just so, so sad about it all. I don't know whether to give them an almighty kick up the arse in the hope of recovering some honesty in the friendship or to just let the friendship go.

Difficult situation and a lot depends on the characters involved.

A few years ago this happened with a couple I was friendly with (him I worked with so I guess I was more his friend than hers but had grown close to them both) and when they both independently told me the situation I made it 100% crystal clear right from the word go that I wasn't choosing sides, was there to listen to them both, if necessary/asked to do so would mediate between them, and that if either of them got shitty about my contact with the other then I wouldn't be very friendly very long. Luckily for me both of them, despite bitching a lot about each other at times (naturally), were very good in this respect and knew that my intentions were only to be strong for them both and I'd like to think that I played a role in them eventually ending quite a bitter conflict and managing to not only interact in a civil manner but even become friendly again.....which was important especially as they had kids together.

Then again I can imagine that the situation I was faced with may not be typical of most people. My advice - tread carefully here but at the same time do offer your support just making sure it's transparent to both parties.

My view is that if there,is any abuse at all, then the abuser is totally shunned and cut out of our lives. I don't care how much I liked them.

for cheating, I am honest with the cheater that I think they are a piece of shit for what they did, but don't cut them out entirely. However, I automatically favour the injured,party.