To ask if I dealt with this appropriately?

[kappadelta]

Yesterday I attended my 13 year old's annual review as he has a statement of special educational needs.
DH attended with me despite having just come of a night shift as I have experienced bullying in school meetings in the past. Dd nearly 3 also came.

The meeting was just us, my son and the special needs assistant. Which I was a bit surprised about.
After the meeting the special needs assistant asked me if I was going to have another
one as dd - who is number 5 and our youngest is due to start nursery in September.

I answered - oh no, I shall just increase my hours at work. Now it might just have been her making conversation and me being a bit touchy but I kind of felt like there was a hidden meaning to the question.

Please feel free to flame me if I'm just too sensitive

After the meeting the special needs assistant asked me if I was going to have another one as dd - who is number 5 and our youngest is due to start nursery in September.

I'd have said 'No idea. Why on earth would you ask me that?'

A step up from my usual 'what the fuck has it got to do with you?'

She probably was just making conversation and didn't think it through before it left her mouth

But I would have felt annoyed

Not just me then, I'm always quite critical of myself and where I am in life in terms of professional development

I don't think you need to justify yourself by saying you were going to increase your hours at work. None of her business.

I don't think her comment meant anything but this
The meeting was just us, my son and the special needs assistant.

is outrageous.

Blue - I though that too

The SENDCo should have attended an annual review - that is really shit.

Re the other baby comment - she/he was just making rubbish polite conversation. It's the sort of thoughtless thing people say sometimes - ignore.

It's hard to judge without knowing the tone. It could have just been a general small talk question, or it could have been a strongly implied 'income support must be running out soon, you about to pop out another one yet?' Kind of thing.

I'd probably go with small talk.

Hassled - I was under the impression that the acting senco would be there too.

SEN Code of Practice. See Page 196, Para 9.176. I'm guessing none of that happened?

I wouldn't have given her comment a second thought but no way in hell would I agree to a review being done by without teacher / senco!!!

Ah it's just small talk. She was probably trying g to be friendly. Bet she was nervous having to do the review with parents without a teachers support. What can you do anyway, complain she asked you if you're having another child?!

She was making small talk because as soon as you have more than two children everyone feels it's acceptable to ask this question! Which is rude but people don't realise that.
I'm concerned that The meeting was just us, my son and the special needs assistant. Time to demand another meeting?

Hassled - nothing was received 2 weeks prior to the meeting. We only had a weeks notice about it and I had to juggle time off work.

I'm not sure if other professionals were invited. All of his teachers had submitted statements for the meeting.

Was the outcome of the review what you wanted? If you're not happy, I'd pursue the fact they didn't follow the Code of Practice.

Hassled - they proposed to maintain his statement but to alter the objectives which I was in agreement and had some input into.
However some of the objectives from the last review have not been met and I believe the school are at fault in this.

It's intrusive and not an appropriate question but probably not any harm meant. I agree with AlternativeTentacles about the response!

Having been an LSA and now being a teacher in a special school she probably felt incredibly nervous, exposed and vulnerable having to do an annual review on her own (I wouldn't do one without our SENCO and I'm now a fully qualified teacher) and that always makes people more prone to putting their foot in it.