IABU to think that the Doctor’s surgery would pass on my address to anyone? Thought I was safe. Bit scared.

[helpmekeepstrong]

I’ll try and keep this short and to the point but it is a bit complicated.
I ran away from an abusive relationship and went to hide in a Refuge.
We were not allowed to divulge the address and had only a PO Box for post.
We were not allowed to acknowledge anything except the PO Box number and then only to trusted sources for all of our safety. Even my own daughters didn’t know where I was for their own safety.
The only people who had a link between my Refuge address and my old address is the Doctors and the Bank.
I have moved to a new address now and have spent five weeks feeling increasingly safe and at home.
The Refuge forwarded a letter today which connects to my old home address.
It’s from a Debt Collector who say that they have bought the debt from another agency.
My ex had access to my bank account, my card and my computer and god knows what he has run up in debt on-line.
I’ve asked the Refuge to send any letter they get now direct back to the sender as ‘not known’
But if someone has been able to find me at the Refuge, then they will be able to find me here.
And if a debt collector can, then maybe he can.
Please has anyone got any ideas about how this could happen and how I could stop being found?
Panicking a bit tbh.
Any help welcome.

But the important point is: did the letter go to the actual refuge or the po box?

Debt collectors will be able to find you in a way that other people can't. That is their job.
Your best bet is to start sorting out your debts, then they will leave you alone.

If the bank knew the Refuge address, it will likely show on the credit file.

Can you not change your name by deed poll without using your maiden name? Be someone completely different? Sorry this is happening to you.

And as I said previously - really sort out the debts (just realised countess said the same).

countessmarkyabitch It went to the PO box - that is the refuge address.

Well then nobody knows the address of the refuge, or the address you are now. That is the whole point of a PO Box, so people can send you things without knowing your address. I don't see how you have anything to woeey about.

Changing your name, by deed poll or otherwise, doesn't stop debt collectos chasing you or tracking you down. Otherwise anyone could get out of any debt ny changing their name.

I didn't mean she should change her name for the debt collectors - just her ex...

countessmarkyabitch I changed my name just to try to be free of him and to not be found and not to have the association with him. To be part of my own again by taking my family name. I felt proud to do it.
Thanks everyone, I'm sorry I panicked and dramatized. Debts, whatever they may be will probably pitch up now, from time to time. I see from your posts that they will catch up.... and I curse him for that. I really do.
As long as he doesn't find me and I, again from your posts, see that he probably won't.

Sorry, OP, but anyone with a financial services footprint (bank accounts, phone contracts, catalogues, loans etc) is relatively easy for a good debt recovery tracing agency to find, if the sums involved make it worth their while.(leases and tenancies aren't shown, mortgages are) If the debts are relatively small, you could probably rely on them not tracing you beyond the refuge address/ your old address and eventually giving up, and after 6 years the debts become statute barred if you haven't made contact. Or you could get your statutory credit file from experian/ equifax and go to CAB and ask them to help. Then the creditors would deal with CAB not you and you could withhold your address and probably set up £1 a month offers if you are on a low income. That would mean you don't have to deal with debt collectors and bailiffs even if they do link your addresses. As would a debt relief order if you qualify, as it makes the debt unenforceable. If your ex has saddled you with lots of debt there are ways you can deal with it, and if he has taken debt out in your name that is criminal fraud.

But just because a creditor has the refuge address does NOT mean your ex can find you. Make sure you have changed all your email/ bank/ mobile accounts though, and stay off things like facebook.

You CAN make a fresh start, but you may be better getting someone to deal with the creditors on your behalf than hoping they can't find you.

So sorry all this is scaring you, try not to panic and get some advice.
All that has happened so far is that a letter has got as far as the refuge PO Box. The sender of the letter doesn't even know the letter has been forwarded to you. They don't know where the refuge is, or where you have moved to.

Debt collectors have special trace teams whose job it is to search for you using credit files etc and as pp mentioned this is generally via active bank accounts etc. This isn't public information.
I worked for a debt purchasing agency until recently and we had a specialist team who dealt with vulnerable customers. It was surprisingly common to speak to women who had been forced to open accounts under duress from abusive partners and had since fled and gone into refuge. We would not actively and knowingly pursue a vulnerable customer where it would cause mental distress, but you must know that without telling the collectors your situation they will continue to pursue you as normal.
Feel free to pm me if you want any advice on how to handle the collections.

missymayhemsmum have copied that advice so that I can refer to it. It'll help. Thank you.
Job done. Thanks everyone. Sorry for panicking.

Bean89 Thank you for that advice. Will copy it.
I did have one company pursuing me when I was at the Refuge (via my mobile). It was for the insurance on my husband's lorry. As he had lost his licence the insurance was in my name. He failed to pay and the insurance was cancelled with an outstanding amount of £74. I explained, many times that I was the driver not owner, understood that as I was the insured party I was liable and explained that I was signed up under duress and now at a secret address feeling domestic violence. They still text or ring the phone several times a day after seven months. For £74 that I cannot begin to find for them. I don't answer their calls now, because I've told them, and the insurance company over and over what my situation is and was. I wish, with all my heart that I didn't have to go through this. Until I met this man, I paid my bills. Clear and simple - you have had a service provided, so you pay for it.