To feel anxious each Friday re weekly child achievement awards

[RealHousewifeOfSheffield]

It's so silly, so I know IABU.
But it's getting to the point now that each Friday I get a knot of tension in my stomach while waiting at the school gate. And each week DS comes out (totally oblivious to my neuroticism) and I have to ask him within 5 mins if he got star of the week, and he says no.
My heart sinks.
Some have had it multiple times, some like my DS just once. But why don't the teachers just do it equally
I know, I know I'm a grown up and IA totally U

At my dc school everybody gets 'star of the week' at least once. Sure there are some kids which are showered with glory at any opportunity ministers kids but school make a point of rewarding every child for their own personal achievements such as putting in their best effort, being thoughtful to others, sitting still in class. Because everyone is good at something and everyone deserves praise for whatever they have achieved.

You can't help how you feel but it's really not worth getting upset about it. DS couldn't care less about the reward system and as he is DC no 3, I take it all with a pinch of salt eye roll . The best one my now 15 year old got was for being 'really kind'

DS1 is yr 1 as well. He won't be winning often, very middle of the road, though kind not confident enough to be stand out and defiantly not a troublemaker. It's almost comical who wins and how often. The 'naughtiest' most troubled children names are up very regularly, there are multiple awards each week. I think it's a good lesson in how life isn't always fair. It's not fair that children who behave terribly regularly get awards for being good, but ( when he's much older I'll explain) it's not fair that such young children have been though so much and so what if a few certificates makes them feel better. And he has noticed.

In the Reception class I work in they alternate it so everyone gets it at least twice in a school year. In Y1 the teacher awards it to the child who has worked hardest each week (regardless of ability) and if some children are lazy or refuse to do their best, they don't get it.

Of course, you get the parents up in arms "my child hasn't won x, y and z" but in the groups I work in I send children to the Head for Head Teacher awards whenever they work exceptionally hard. The children are often the ones who are struggling most, but so far as I see it , hard work deserves recognition.

Perhaps not all teachers reward hard work in such a black-and-white way, but the ones I know certainly do.

I ensured i gave out star of the week equally. This didn't mean i just gave it to anyone. I gave it to most deserving out of who already hadnt received it.

Doesn't even register with ds1 at school. If your ds isn't bothered stop asking

I do think you need to examine yourself and find the core issue of this anxiety/neurosis, as it is likely to get worse and you wouldn't want to burden your child with it.

It's normal to feel some concern about these things, I guess, but it's not normal to get quite so caught up in it.

Star of the week is bollocks (been school governor and know how it works). He's your star and that is all that matters to the wee lad. I'm sure you can find stuff in his reading book and spellings and helpful/kind stuff that he does at home to big him up about.

Ask him whats yes learnt that weeks and celebrate that. Certificates aejust a pice and paper and are pretty useless in the grand scheme of things. Actual knowledge - OTOH - is worth having.

I once watched the girl who I'd been into school about three times in one term for bullying my dd1 get the Gead's award for being a good citizen.

Like I said, load of bollocks.

I always kept a record of children in my class who'd won and made sure everyone was included (and I could always find something to give it for). At my sons' school, they have a monthly award for one child from each class. Both my DC won it in Reception, and haven't won it since. They're now in Years 3&5. Now that's a long wait for some validation!

My DS clocked it aged 5...he told me that if he was a bit naughty, and then tried really hard to be good after, he always got star of the week! Maybe your ds just isn't naughty enough?!

Then you get the FB bragging. I have to sit on my hands when my DC's cousin gets her award for being good, she has attacked my DC since she could take her first steps towards them, I know she has no special issues other than her Dad ignoring what's happening literally under his nose.

I do feel your pain even though I agree with other posters that you shouldn't stress. DS started reception in September and still hasn't been star of the DAY! If you are star of the day you get to take the class teddy home. Some of his classmates have taken the teddy home multiple times. DS keeps saying "I tried really hard today mummy but still wasn't star of the day"

It's meaningless and I hate it ! We moved ds and thankfully they don't entertain this ridiculous charade