To think this is Red Flag behaviour at school?

[ihatelego]

DS came up to me first thing this morning and told me "(said child) watches me on the toilet at school and I don't like it."

He's in reception, 5 and according to him this particular boy always watches him even though he doesn't like it and he doesn't want him to see his private area. He's told the boy to stop but the boy says he will tell him off.

This particular boy is very much in charge of a lot of the boys in reception and my son often tells me he struggles to say no to him or get away from him if he wants to.

Add to this the fact that at school and birthday parties this boy has pulled my son's trousers and pants down "because he wants to look at me" and my son may also need a medical circumcision soon.

Is this something sinister and serious or just what kids that age do? :S

Hm. See how it goes but I think your role in this is to continue to advocate for your DS's privacy. Is there not a door he can shut for privacy?

My DS has had issues with boys looking over the top of the partitions but it was taken very seriously by the teachers and they made the offenders write letters of apology (Y2). DS was really upset and I think it helped him enormously to get such a strong message that it was unacceptable.

yes they have doors but they're low doors so according to DS he just stands on tiptoes and looks over the top.

That's good that they took immediate action, i bet it stopped very quickly!

DP thinks his circumcision won't bother DS but i think surely if he's different down there it's going to be even worse to have someone looking etc, can't believe i'm even writing this tbh half the time i'm thinking like It's not too much of a big deal and the other half i'm building a mental profile of a 5 yr old sexual predator.. and i wish DS could have told me straight away it's only come out today and apparently it's been happening a lot i've told him that that area is private and nobody except mummy/daddy and drs should look at or touch it.

Tbh OP, I do think boys go through a willy obsessed phase and that's probably what is happening with this boy. However, I really think the school ought to send a stronger message. It isn't ok to look at other people's privates. It's not rocket science is it?

Btw the "it's not rocket science" wasn't aimed at or anywhere near you OP. I just find the we can't do anything without hard evidence line fro. The school extremely annoying.

www.nspcc.org.uk/preventing-abuse/keeping-children-safe/underwear-rule

It may be worth explaining the Underwear privacy rule - see Nspcc website.

Ludicrous action, or lack of it, by the school. The message here is that it's only an issue if validated by an adult. The child is not being believed.

thank you rivercam that's really handy I'll have a bit of a more in depth talk with him tomorrow.

I know it's not great is it, i've been told 3 or 4 times now that everytime they watch the two of them they're fine together. But I'm already keeping a record of what he's telling me and when if it keeps happening I'll take it further.