To want my child to have someone to play with at most playtimes...

[josben]

I probably worry about this too much, but DD (8) only seems to have someone to play with one playtime a day at school... (there are 3 playtimes including lunch) she does not complain about this, but i ask her and it does worry me ... :(

Have you asked the school what their view is? I help out at lunchtimes when dinner staff are off sick and if there are children standing alone or looking a bit lost, I make a beeline for them to see if I can help. Sometimes it's just that they don't like the hustle and bustle of busy playtimes, sometimes they're a little shy and take longer to form friendships. Best thing to do is to speak to school so they can keep an eye on her for a while and see if there's a particular reason.

Do they have a buddy bench or could you suggest one?

I was going to say what sooty said.

I can't think of a single Primary school in my borough, that doesn't have a buddy bench...where volunteer kids (often the school council), volunteer to play with them at break times.

They do sometimes exageratte OP. They "say" "I had nobody to play with" but sometimes it means "For five minutes"

Definitely ask the teacher to keep an eye out and organise some playdates...they do help establish friendships.

Mrsflannel - Yes, i think i will try and sort some playdates - thats a good idea

DD has always struggled a bit with friendships and her friend left school last October who she misses... :(

I am not sure there is a buddy bench in the Junior section of DD's school...

Could it possibly be that (with the best of intentions) you might be putting words in her mouth?? I learnt early on not to ask if they played with anyone at school. I realised that kids tell you what they think you want to hear ie "I didn't play with anyone," = concern/hugs from mum. Instead I started to ask what was the funniest/silliest/saddest thing that happened today.

Honestly, unless she is unhappy I wouldn't push this. It might just distress you unnecessarily.

We all want our children to be well-liked and popular so I can see why you're worried but do make sure that you don't project your worries on to your DD. How does she feel about being on her own? If she's not too bothered, I wouldn't push the issue or she might start to think it's a problem when it isn't, or think that it being a problem is what you want and will make you happy, iyswim.

Can you organise some play dates or, better still, enrol her in Brownies so she strengthens her friendships outside of the school environment?

Didn't mean to cross-post with everyone else. I got interrupted in the middle of writing my post.

Permanently - yes i do see where you are coming from ... i possibly do ask in the wrong way...

DD has just started to play football, which seems to be going well and shes already in Brownies, which she loves - so we can keep on with those... I am thinking that i will give her a complex!?

Oh bless her.

Are you sure she's alone op because you know kids say they didn't do anything at school today and no one played with me

Go check with the teacher/TA though.

Our DD is nearly 10 and went through a period of 'I have no-one to play with'. It was really hard and it really broke my heart. She's very unconfident and shy and also a bit bossy which doesn't help her bless her cotton socks. We tried to organise playdates for her with school friends however the other parents always say 'oh sorry X can't because we're going to the moon that weekend' [or similar] I suspect it's because we live in mid wales and are same sex parents and therefore deviant.

The next time you're in school and you're passing a member of staff, just casually ask if they have the buddy bench system.

If they haven't, perhaps you could suggest they look into it. If they have, you could ask them if the kids are actually aware of it.

Oh and I've just thought, perhaps your DD could put herself forward to help out with it (assuming they have one/get one). That way, she'll always be busy at break time and there's the added bonus that she'll be helping other kids.