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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want my ex to buy me a Mother's Day gift

11 replies

spongebob5 · 12/03/2015 19:09

I'm divorced from my Dc's father. Have been in a new relationship for 3 years. My new partner was planning to take the DC shopping to buy me something on Saturday - Dc aged 15 & 10 knew this. Dc's have come home this evening & told my partner that they've been shopping for me last night with their DF. I know this sounds ungrateful but he doesn't need to & I don't want him to!

OP posts:
Buxtonstill · 12/03/2015 19:12

You may not be enamoured with your ex dp, but don't try and make the DC feel guilty for shopping with their dad. What were they to say to their dad? No we don't want to shop with you as we will be going with X. Awkward for them. Let it go.

Perfectlypurple · 12/03/2015 19:13

Then just tell your ex that the children are old enough to go shopping themselves for all gifts for you in future. It's nice that he. Is thinking about it and making sure they get you something.

wheresthelight · 12/03/2015 19:14

you might not want him to but imo it is his place not your dp's to dp this.

it really irks me that dp's exw decided the second we got together that she no longer needed to get dp anything from their kids. you and their dad created them and therfore it is your respective responsibilities not that of a new partner

Buxtonstill · 12/03/2015 19:14

And if you are anything less than thrilled with their present just because his money paid for it and he was involved then the DC will pick up on it. That would BU

Original poster
spongebob5 · 12/03/2015 19:28

I'm not sure why he's done it tbh, for the last few birthdays/Christmas gifts I have given the dc money & they have chosen gifts them selves. Anyway I would never make them feel guilty, I wouldn't even mention it to them . I 'll let him know he doesn't need to in future

OP posts:
AlPacinosHooHaa · 12/03/2015 19:31

i agree dont make them feel guilty shopping with him, i think its a nice gesture, and you are both the childrens parents? maybe he has just hd a thought that you are a wondeful mother nad have done a wonderful job

fluffymouse · 12/03/2015 20:13

I think yab a bit u. It sounds like he tried to do something nice for you. Regardless of your feelings for him you will still be co- parenting for the next 8 years minimum.

Aeroflotgirl · 12/03/2015 20:18

Yabu in am afraid, sounds like a nice thing to do. It's better that their dad goes shopping with them, he is their dad.

MayLuke83 · 12/03/2015 20:21

I have to agree, YAB a bit u. Your ex partner probably thinks he's doing something nice. Your kids might not have wanted to hurt their father's feelings by telling him they had plans to do this with your partner.

Proudmumof2boys · 12/03/2015 20:22

YABU, but I would feel the same way x

yellowdaisies · 12/03/2015 20:25

Maybe he wants to say thank you to you for being a great mum to his DC? I wouldn't tell him not to.Sad Your DP can always take you out for a meal or something with the DC to celebrate mother's day if you want

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