IWBU I let my past effect me

[AnotherManicMonday]

I was in a abusive relationship for 6 years, he was EA, controlling, manipulation and FA but never physical.

I've been with my new DP around a year and it's been amazing he's the complete opposite of my XP and I'm really happy.

Today I've been invited out on a girls night out Saturday and my DM offered to babysit my DD and told me to go so I'm going tbh I'm not that bothered about going but I rarely get the chance so thought I may aswell. Tonight I was speaking to my DD and mentioned it he wasn't bothered at all but I freaked out and got so defensive I felt scared to tell him like I would of with my XP but tbh I never would of asked my XP a because I wouldn't of been allowed and wouldn't of dared to bring it up. I snapped at DP told him that I'm going if he likes. It or not and hung up now he's wondering what the jells going on and I no I've totally over reacted and snapped at him for no reason and let my past effect me

I thought I'd dealt with all this and put stuff behind me. I no he's going to want some kind of explanation to why j snapped but I don't know what to say.

amazing

Sorry about the typos I'm sure this phone has a mind of its own

just ring him back and say sorry. it's hard to let go of your past but don't let it rule your present or future

Have you talked to him about your ex? Just ring back and apologise, I'm sure he will understand if he is as nice as you say

He knows a lot about my ex unfortunately as he and his family like to slate me over FB and tell the world how mentally disturbed I am and such a whore so he's read more then his fair share but it hasn't effected us thankfully

It just freaked me out that I snapped so easily and got on the defensive when this hasn't happened before

Your ex had 6 years to scare you and make you defensive. Your lovely new partner has had 1 to try and change the pattern (or perhaps I should say you have had 1 to change with him). Habits are hard to break, it sounds like you are doing great most of the time, but this was a situation that previously would have caused a problem, so you temporarily reverted to how you would have felt before.

Have you had a chance to speak to your DP now?

Yeh I've spoken to him and explained that I know I snapped and it was my over reaction and he was so understanding about it, just reassured me that I'm my own person and can and always will make my own decisions and that it's not a problem me going out and he's my partner who's there to love and support me not dictate what u
I can/cant/shouldn't do

He couldn't of been anymore understanding or reassuring thankfully

oh, the joys of face crap, your dp sounds great, don't let the past mess it up, keep communication open and try to let go of the past when it rears up stamp it back down, you're a good person, your x is the one with the problem if he is still slagging you off after all this time., he's a real sad case. but good for you for getting away from him and his toxic family, as least you didn't have dcs.

Unfortunately we'd have one DD together Mrs but that's another nightmare story

glad you spoke to him and the immediate issue is resolved.

Keep working on your lovely new relationship.

Keep ignoring ex - you left him behind for a reason (and get rid of him off your Fb)

Thanks froggy the worst is I don't have FB but we have a lot of mutual friends that I don't socialise with anymore because I wanted to distance myself from him as much as possible but when him and his family are putting this all over FB it always gets screened shot and sent back to me, it has helped my case in court slightly and proven his mentality and attitude towards me