To wonder if any of you have gone to your school reunions

[Behindthepaintedgarden]

and what were they like?

Trying to decide whether to go to mine, or not.

iki no but it wasn't much after that!

I'm off to a uni one this summer...I graduated 1981. Can't wait.

Yes! and I can honestly say it was a very cathartic experience..I was bullied all my school life...gobby moo, 6ft, lank hair, glasses, braces!!! (and of course sensitive enough to 'allow' myself to be bullied)...the organizer..funnily enough one of my main bullies, went to a lot of trouble to find me...notice in shop window, seen by my DB...I live 250 mls away...I went with my oldest friend, who was never bullied..in fact popular head girl...It was amazing..I think when you are bullied you only remember the shit times...it was lovely to be reminded that I had had some good times at school...I have had a good adult life, travelled the world, got 3 lovely DCs and a good marriage (most of the time!).My main bully had been married 3 times and was looking rough..(not that I wished that on anyone..but karma)..the boys said they'd fancied me but I was a bit distant...when you are bullied you learn to walk the school corridors with your head down...we had a ball till 4am! I was voted the person who had changed the least??!! obviously minus the lank hair and the braces!!..I met the boy who I shared my 1st kiss with...till he had sex with my bully..she did it deliberately she told me at the time..but we talked so much...he was voted the one who had changed the most...he was a bit chubby and spotty at school (but Oh how I loved him at 14!)..at the reunion, he was tall, handsome and dressed so smartly...all in all I am so glad I went...it really helped me to deal with those awful school years...

I went as I was staying with my parents anyway. My school friends I am still friends with were horrified in case our evil nemesis (queen bee who was very mean) was there. Dh was desperate to meet evil nemesis. Dh and I pootled round the school (I was 8 months pregnant and had toddler with us) then round the corner came....evil nemesis and her two side kicks!

Was very funny - they did kindly ask if we wanted to drink some cider with them in car park but we politely declined.

Oh no hang on that was after a later return (so really not me :) ). Didn't Mark keep leaving EE on a bike too?

I went to an anniversary of the school one. I loved school to be honest, even though I wasn't very popular (the teachers liked me though and I did have a few good friends) so I travelled a couple of hundred miles to get there. I enjoyed it, though I was glad my brother went as there weren't many people from my year there, and the ones that were hadn't particularly been my friends. There were a few teachers that I really got on with there and it was nice to catch up with them.

A few years later I was invited, along with a few other ex pupils, to an awards ceremony as a surprise for a long standing teacher who was retiring. It was a bit awkward to be honest. At the time I was unemployed and feeling a bit of a failure and all the kids were being told they had an amazing life ahead of them etc and I felt I hadn't done very well with mine.

Afterwards I thought that those of us who had been invited might have been taken to a room for the teachers to chat to or something, but we just had to mingle with the kids and parents who obviously all wanted to speak to the teachers and I felt a bit out of place and unnecessary so just left. Most of the adults did. As we had been especially invited, and some of us had travelled hundreds of miles to be there, I just felt they could have acted a bit more pleased to see us!

What I found interesting about my reunion was that as most of us had known each other since we were 11 and some of us who had been at the prep school since they were 5 there was actually no trying to out do each other or anything. The school was pretty small ( especially at 6th form) and some people were boarders so we all knew each other pretty well even if we hadn't kept in touch.
One of the men tried the " oh, I'm a big shot" thing but was instantly shot down in ( good natured) flames by everyone else.
As I said I really didn't want to go but I was glad I did and am now back in touch with a smaller group who I meet up with a couple of times a year.

No, I'm only aware of there having been one, at 15 years, but I can't think of anyone that I'd really want to see that I'm not in touch with already. I have no interest in seeing the school itself again either, or any of the teachers.

I'm not interested in reminiscing about my school days TBH, I wouldn't mind hearing about what people are doing now, if they've got families etc, so if it was local and easy to go I might, but it's a bit of a trek from where I live now, so on balance I wouldn't go to one now.

I went to my 10 year one, 6 weeks after DD1 was born.

I was bullied quite badly in school in the sly underhanded excluding you type of way that can sometime happen in girls schools. By the people who were meant to be my friends.

Half the reason I dragged myself to the reunion was to show those particular girls that I had survived (in their eyes, I was the brainy, plain one whose job it was to never have a boyfriend and explain the homework to everyone - and over the 10 years I had realised that I was smart, ambitious, attractive and they couldn't keep me in their little box).

I wouldn't say I enjoyed it, but it was nice seeing them react to me blowing their misconceptions out of the water (stayed at home since school - nope, lived in the Far East and travelled extensively; single - nope, engaged and with 1 DD; fat and plain - nope, slightly chubby since giving birth, but otherwise looking amazing and confident)

I also discovered that quite a few people who I had liked but who I thought didn't particularly have time for me, actually liked me quite a lot (or at least seemed to, and made a beeline for me to talk to me).

That said, it did bring back a lot of bad memories and I'm not sure I'd do it again.

No way would I go. I hated school and swore I would never set foot back through the door once I left back in 1996.

I'm still in touch with a couple of people from school. We usually catch up if one of us is getting married. all end up getting pissed at the night time do

I'm not on Facebook but a few years ago I did bump into one of the girls who was in the group who were vile to me my last 3 years. She told me she still hung around with the same group of girls which I thought was strange. Told me what they were all up to as if I gave a shit and said she wasn't sure why they were so horrible to me. She did look a bit embarrassed when she said that.

Got me thinking though about them all still hanging around together. It's as if the girls who thought they were really something special at school leave and discover that the world doesn't think the same. They must get quite a shock. So they stay huddled together for the rest of their days telling each other how wonderful they are. Not getting why everybody else thinks they are pathetic and a little sad.

Bloody hell don't know where all that came from bit it was quite therapeutic!

God no! I would be terrified. It's been 15 years since I left school so I hope there's no reunion this year.

I wouldn't be invited anyway as they wouldn't know where to find me. I'm no longer on FaceBook and obviously I've moved house.

There was a ten year night out that some of the girls from my year arranged and I was invited via Facebook, when I was on it, but I didn't go.

My oldest friend got married 5 years ago and there were some girls at that. It was lovely to see them and they were still lovely, one of the girls is my mum's hairdresser but I'd be nervous of seeing the "cool kids" and the boy who made me miserable. I loved English at school but he made me dread them.

It was to far to go (30 years) but afterwards I saw a photo of some fat bald men 15 years older than me. Not sure how that happened. (About 1 in 10 in the photo looked the age I feel.)

I went with my good school friend and a very popular-good looking-at school-boy who had stayed good friends with her.
It was a disco and we had a great laugh.
I was a bit of a late developer at school and it was mainly people from the year above so only a few recognised me. It would 've been better if there had been more from our year tbh.
It was funny though that some of the women looked daggers at us dancing with Mr Popular- people don't change as much as you think!

Im not invited to mine though I dont want to go.

The reason why I say Im not invited is because I saw some friends had been tagged in a status from someone regarding that its 20 years this year and she is going to organise one. She left her status open for people to tag those she was not friends with. No-one tagged me. I have also seen a comment on a friends status about something in April. I dont know when or where so Im obviously not invited.

Ive obviously been forgotten about. Which TBH Im pleased about (although would be nice to think people from school liked me) as I just feel very embarrassed when I think about my school life. I just feel like I made a right tit out of myself with bad make up and bad hair etc. I probably didn't, but its how I feel.

So no Im not going, but I dont know if I want to. Am I annoyed at not being invited? I really dont know.

No, I don't even want to know who has made it this far and who hasn't.

In my head we are all still 18.

I went to mine and had a fabulous time. There's now a group of about 20 - 25 of us who meet up quite regularly, go to gigs, hill-walking, days out and have an active Facebook group. At every reunion, there's at least one person who has travelled from Canada or the US to attend.

I don't think I'd seen any of these people (with one exception) in 30 years (my family moved away when I was in 3rd year). There was no bragging or boasting - all genuine interest in what people were doing and how they had spent the intervening years.

I'm really glad I went along.

Was there much showing off? Proving how well they'd done in life?
I think it might depend how long it is and therefore the ages of those involved.

Just after we got engaged DH had a 10 year reunion to which partners were invited. We went and it was awful. OK I wasn't expecting to know anyone and feel like a spare part. But, apart from the people we went with who were the ones DH liked and had kept in touch with anyway, most people treated it like an opportunity to brag about how well they were doing, how much they earned, how flashier a car they were driving etc. I suppose that at that age - late 20s - these were the things that seemed important.

Years later I was invited to a 25 year reunion for mys school. My initial reaction was not to go, but the I got a call from an old friend who I hadn't seen in years and after a long chat I decided it might be OK after all. It was actually really nice. By that time everyone was in their 40s and past that stage where they want to show off. I had quite a few lovely chats with people - some of whom I only knew slightly in school anyway.

Do people stick to the groups they were in at school?
Yes and no I found. While I had lots of chats with people I had not necessarily been bosom pals with, I relaised that there were also many people who I didn't remember at all and therefore didn't really mix with. Unwilling to sound at all snobby here but by and large I realised I only knew the people who had been in the top sets and people tended to stick to those groups still.

Had people changed much?
Yes they were much nicer! Physically the women had changed less whereas some of the blokes were initially unrecognisable. The last time I had seen them they were 16 so most of the boys had been skinny and had lots of hair. Now they were fully grown middle-aged men with considerably less hair. But certainly everyone was much easier to get on with at 40 then they had been at 16.

Thanks for all the interesting replies. I think I might go as we are all definitely past the showing off, judging each other by our jobs stage. Most of us have probably been through a lot of the crap life throws at you: bereavements, illness, money problems, etc and have grown up a bit.

I went to my 10 year one at 28. Bizarre really. All the boys who ignored me were balding and falling over themselves to get me a drink. All the girls who hated me looked like their mums. Me and my best friend stayed for a couple of drinks then disappeared to go clubbing instead. I went to a small catch up a few years ago (in my 40s) and it was equally odd. Everyone looked so old - I probably do too to be fair! No idea why I was invited as it was a select 'do'.

I went to one 4 years after I left school. It was for all past pupils, not just my year group. So a huge age range attended (most nearer the 60 mark)

It was incredibly boring. The teachers sat on their own table and chatted amongst themselves. I saw a few people from my year group but I'd rather have stuck pins in my eyes than try to force a conversation with them. Ended up leaving very early and went to the pub instead.

I went to our 30yr school leavers reunion 2 yrs ago-(our year only) it was brilliant!!
It was a red hot sunny day, started at 3pm, so outdoor/indoor event, with a band( one of my classmates was lead singer) in a marquee- drinks flowing and it went on until late evening. I was a bit nervous as I had moved away from the area when I was 18 but everyone was so welcoming and friendly- MY DP & Ds came along for last hr( put me in the car as I was ssooo drunk) and I was proudly showing them off too!
I thnk the venue/weather cerainly helped, it wouldnt have been as good indoors only, and the band made our day they were brilliant- all ex schoolmates

What I did find interesting about the thing I had been invited to, I said hello to a boy in the year above and he apologised that he didn't remember me. I explained that I remembered him because of a nasty comment about my looks he'd once made in my presence. He couldn't remember that and was mortified and honestly sorry. He explained that he hadn't had any true friends in school and so was always trying to do and say things to show off and make people like him. At the time he'd always seemed quite popular but I guess underneath he was very insecure. He said he wished he could go back in time and be his real self - as he hasn't seen anyone from school since he left so he wished he hadn't bothered trying so hard to impress them.

I really saw him in a new light and I was glad I'd had the opportunity to talk to him about it as it had really upset me at the time.

I did and I'm glad I went. There were 3 of the guys who made my final school years quite difficult there and although there was no actual apology we all got on well and it felt like some demons were laid to rest. We all had a few drinks, a good catch up, said our goodbyes and most of us stay in touch via FB now. It was a nice night