Wedding AIBU - am I bridezilla?

[Chipsahoythere]

Have been accused of being bridezilla and being unfair.
Having a smallish wedding. No B list guests so it's made it tricky with the guest list.

I have a group of about 6 Uni friends that were on my course. I'm inviting them all. In that friendship group, there are two extra women who were not on my course but who lived with some of the blokes in student accommodation. I was never particularly close to them and have seen them only a couple of times since I left university, although the rest of them do regularly socialise.

I've invited the 6 people I was on a Uni course with AND 1 of the other two women, because she is now engaged to one of the men. I wouldn't be inviting her if they weren't together, she is his plus one iyswim.

I'm not inviting the other because I don't really know her and have not seen her for over a year.

Have had a few messages this evening saying I'm being unfair... Am I? I don't like to leave one person out but at the same time because of costs I haven't invited any cousins, any colleagues etc etc.

AIBU

Yanbu. If your uni friends don't like it, they can decline your invitation. They don't get to choose who you invite, and you don't have to have people you don't know well or have lost touch with. Vycount's reply is spot on.

Having said that, do you know for certain all the other guests you have invited will attend, because there are often a few who won't and could free up a place for this woman.

Whoever asked you to invite her, ask them who they think you should 'disinvite' to squeeze her in.

They are being incredibly rude trying to dictate who you should invite to your wedding. They must know that you aren't close to this woman.

Thank you for your replies.

I've decided to stay how it is. If they think it's really mean then there is no need for them to come. They will realise when they are planning their own weddings!

When I got married we decided no one who we hadn't both met and no one we hadn't seen in over a year. I'm sure some people were surprised but it led to a lovely wedding really cosy and friendly - I'd do the same again!

Yanbu. Of course the 1 woman not invited will feel a bit peeved at being excluded, but its your wedding & no one else's business. It's really unfair of the other friends to moan to you about it and make someone else's wedding all about them!

However, as they are your friends, just explain very briefly about limited numbers, only inviting very close friends plus partners etc.

Its hard isn't it , because you see 6 friends and they see 8 and then to them , you have invited 7 of them . I would go down the line of numbers are tight and any of them are more than welcome to bring them as a plus one , you are sure one of their partners would understand

YANBU. I probably wouldn't have invited any partners including the other woman if it was me, purely to add space for close friends and to avoid this but you can't change now. If it makes you feel any better, there's a couple of things I could kick myself for regarding guests in hindsight- including not bothering to invite one.

YANBU. Makes total sense why you have done it this way and its quite frankly nobody else's decision but yours. Stand up for yourself.

I'd use Vycount's fab answer as the basis for a message to the others. YANBU at all.

Have fun at YOUR wedding x

How did you decide to handle it?