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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To refuse to leave the Drs/A&E until someone helps my child

122 replies

CountryMummy1 · 10/03/2015 06:51

Long story short..... I have always known something was wrong with my DD(3). Mouth breathing, snoring, teeth grinding, speech probs. She has seen numerous community pads who said she was fine. One looked at her tonsils and said they were fine so adenoids were probably fine too. She has fluid in ears but it was put down to a recent cold.

I have always had her on an Angelcare monitor as her breathing has always seemed a bit laboured when she was asleep. The last few nights the alarm has gone off constantly. She is stopping breathing for up to 2 minutes and I have to shake her to breath. We went to A&E the night before last who said it was sleep apnea but they couldn't admit her, I needed to go to Drs for referral to ENT which I did yesterday.

I can't take another night like last night. She stopped breathing hundreds of times an hour, sometimes for minutes at a time. I can't let her go to sleep again until she is in hospital. I need to get some help today and I don't care if I have to refuse to leave A&E and get arrested.

OP posts:

OhGood · 10/03/2015 20:53

So sorry I didn't read the whole thread.

Evabeaversprotege · 10/03/2015 21:19

Op hope all went well today.

wannabestressfree · 10/03/2015 21:22

Interested to know how it went...

Nativity3 · 10/03/2015 22:10

How was it op?

southbucks77 · 10/03/2015 22:27

Hope it went well today. I feel so sorry for you and there have been some horrid comments on this thread. I've been in that situation - fighting for someone to listen to me about my son with professionals and friends telling me to "calm down" and get my anxiety treated. Surprisingly enough once my son's health improved so did my anxiety!

Myths doctors tell you:

no child will starve themselves to death - my son was 100% tube fed for 10 months. One day when he was 4 months old I removed the tube at 4am. At 4pm my nurse from GOSH told me to put it back in urgently - he hadn't drunk a single drop in that time. I know lots of babies/toddlers in the same situation
babies should have low blood sugars, it's natural - tell that to the 100s of parents I know with children with brain damage from low blood sugars

These people told me to "lose" the blood sugar monitor. When my child is unconscious and floppy and I get a reading of 1.1mmol then I'm glad I had the monitor. I have had people tell me that I should "get over myself".

It's scary watching your child fight. I hope you can get someone to take you seriously over this as it makes such a difference to you and your family. xx

landrover · 10/03/2015 22:49

Another myth to join south bucks "its a virus" (thats the one they tell you when they don't know what it is, but they want you out the door with no antibiotics!)

concerned4567893 · 10/03/2015 23:06

NC for this as details may out me.

Hope you got on ok today. I think you have done the right thing videoing it and keeping on at the docs and i really hope you will be referred somewhere that can offer some help for your dd.
I dont think you are being neurotic at all given the circumstances. Ive been equally as stressed lately over my ds having a severe cough and its no where near as scary as what you are going through but it just feels like no one is listening to me.

And to all those people saying trust the doctors.....they have obviously never had a bad experience with doctors. Ive had too many mistakes happen to us that makes me not trust anything they say which sometimes does cause me to worry more than neccessary.

I had a kidney infection was at docs everyday for one week, was referred to a&e sent home everything all clear had a virus.....was found unconcious only 6 hours after being released from a&e with the onset of septicemia caused by a severe kidney infection.

Took my ds to the doctors when he was first born he was projectiling every bottle and loosing weight....for 6 weeks i was told that it was normal for babies to vomit even though i showed them a video of forceful vomitting. he ended up in hospital for an operation.

Most recently ds was extremely unwell temp of 41.1 coming out in a rash, floppy and unresponsive....took him to gp while he lay on my knee the whole time completely out.....she said 'he had a virus and hes picked up since hes been here' The child could not wake never mind lift his head. I took him to a&e for a 2nd opinion.....ear drum about to burst severe ear infection.

Lots of us wouldnt have to go running to a&e or looking for second opinions if we could actually trust that of our gp's !

IreneA78 · 11/03/2015 10:47

The difference is that the doctors were not disputing that the child had sleep apnoea. what they were disputing was that it is a medical emergency
I am guessing they have now given her a quick appointment to stop her rockimg up at a& e every night or making even more go appointments

ChestyNut · 11/03/2015 16:46

How is she OP?

BeautifulPain · 11/03/2015 16:58

I hope your dd is ok op x

jemimapuddleduck208 · 11/03/2015 17:04

Yes, there is something wrong: she has sleep apnoea. You've been told she has sleep apnoea. What more do you want them to say? You're anxious and neurotic. Stop wasting A&E's time, for god's sake, and wait for your ENT referral like everyone else has to. People like you are why the NHS is on its knees.

RestingFuckFace · 11/03/2015 17:34

Jeez Jemima .

The GP watched the video and seemed to think she needed to be seen straight away, so I guess he/she must have been anxious and neurotic too?

jemimapuddleduck208 · 11/03/2015 17:36

Sleep apnoea is not an A&E concern. No "jeez" about it. She's been told what's wrong with her child, and now she must wait to see the specialist. Whether that's quickly or slowly, that's what she needs to do. What does she expect A&E to do? Magically cure her sleep apnoea? That isn't what A&E is for. A&E is for acute conditions. The misuse of it for stuff like this is what's bringing it to its knees.

jemimapuddleduck208 · 11/03/2015 17:44

It'd be like someone who has diabetes going and sitting in A&E every night and saying "But I'm diabetic!!" and refusing to leave until someone "cured" their diabetes. Doesn't work like that. Surely you can see how wrong that is?

I honestly don't know what this woman expects A&E to do. Her child has a condition that needs to be managed, just like someone with diabetes. They don't do that in A&E. Her condition isn't acute.

zzzzz · 11/03/2015 17:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

noclevername · 11/03/2015 17:57

Jemima

Try and be a bit kinder

I'm a doctor

WipsGlitter · 11/03/2015 18:23

So as a Doctor noclever do you think this warranted A&E?

hazeyjane · 11/03/2015 18:29

It is clear from this and other threads that the op's dd needs to see an ENT consultant, and there obviously has been a change in sleep/breathing difficulties, as I don't remember this being a problem in previous threads. I'm not sure the op has said anything about turning blue?

Hopefully the ops dd has been seen now, and is getting some satisfactory input.

Stillwishihadabs · 11/03/2015 20:04

Thing is when conditions aren't investigated, diagnosed and treated in a timely fashion they do become acute. To go back to diabetic example unmanaged diabetes is an emergency, which can be treated. That is why the nhs is on its knees,waiting lists to see specialists are far too long and GP appointments are difficult to get so the patients go to A&E. Blaming the patients who have exhausted all other avenues is not helpful.

Most people only go to A&E when they are really worried or have no where else to go. It's not exactly fun.

youarekiddingme · 11/03/2015 20:11

That is so true still I got hounded on a thread once (literally picked apart my every word) about another paren't who was advised to go to A&E as chronic symptoms had become acute.

I mentioned my DSis di this with DN and he was diagnosed with milk intolerance there. Omg how many times this poster kept telling me off for advising an intolerance was an emergency - when what had happened (and what I posted was) because no one listened to her (pfb etc) he'd ended up with a bleeding oesophagus and other symptoms due to damage and that was an acute emergency. It could have even avoided by better primary care.

RosesAreMyFavourite · 12/03/2015 20:09

I second that the NHS is on its knees because patients don't get preventative help when they first get symptoms. Seeing patients quickly SAVES money. Consultants are expensive, sure - so cut their wages - they are paid far too much. I've had quite enough of NHS staff getting shirty with patients because they see them as a problem. The problem is their system, not the people using it.

petalunicorn · 12/03/2015 20:42

We presented at A&E with a dc with sleep apnoea, although we didn't know that's what it was. They kept him on the children's ward for a few days to observe, which instantly made me feel safe. He had frequent episodes up to about 2 mins, and although they said they were quite long, that he would always wake up and I shouldn't worry. They made a point of requesting several times that I did not get a monitor as yes, it would go off but he was ok. It would have been good if someone could have done this for the OP. (They also diagnosed the underlying issue and he received treatment for that).

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