Not to replace his trainers?

[MyFeatheryHat]

So DS has lost his PE kit again

It's definitely not at school but has mysteriously vanished on the bus. Not at the depot and not on any of the buses he has caught since (though I suspect they rarely catch the exact same bus every day)

Wednesday is games, where he can wear his PE kit but will have no trainers. He has nothing else suitable at home so will not be able to take part.

Do I pop to Sainsburys or sports direct tomorrow and buy a cheap nasty pair, thereby stopping him getting detention (which he's never had and would be mortified to get) Or write the teacher a note explaining the situation and saying that I agree with whatever sanctions she decides on?

FWIW DS is the most fantastically disorganised and careless child to walk this earth, so this is not a one off incident (mostly things do return though, and don't cost so much if they don't- new kit and trainers will be around £50) I think we are too soft on him WRT replacing things, but I feel it's my responsibility to make sure he has the correct equiptment for school.

DS is almost 11 by the way :)

This is very much a personal viewpoint but as a rule, I think sanctions linked to ordinary, albeit irritating, behaviour for ten year olds are a little harsh.

I think an appropriate sanction here would be he puts some of his pocket money towards replacing the trainers, or depending when his birthday is having the trainers making up some of his gift.

Kids do this sort of stuff :)

We had almost this exact situation this week. I popped to sports direct and got a pair for £15. It was still kind of a punishment as they weren't the expensive or branded ones dc would choose, but at the same time Id rather he was joining in and participating in sport in suitable footwear, than watching, or doing it in other shoes.

See I teeter towards replacing them A- because I want him to play sport and
B- because I know how upset he will be if he has to miss it (and be punished)

Unfortunately he's not really old enough to appreciate crap trainers over good ones yet, so that doesn't really work as a deterrent.

I wouldn't replace this week. I'd personally day that you don't have enough money for another pair or trainers and let him have the consequence of missing this weeks lesson. I'd replace in time for next week. YANBU

As a side note, wondering if DS could have a bigger school bag (if possible) so it all fits into 1 and he doesn't have to remember 2 bags?

I'd replace them eventually, but not till he'd had at least one detention or some kind of consequence.

Luckily my lot don't have uniforms, but they seem to find plenty of other things to lose.

I'd buy and replace before his lesson.

Buy and replace but make it very clear that if it happens again that you won't be rushing out to replace them.

This may focus his attention a little.

Not sure what the depot is, Is it the same as the lost and found? If not you might want to call the bus company (found my wallet and an other item like that).
Can't advise you on what to do. But don't be too harsh on him, my teenage brother went through a minus 20-30 degree month of January in a summer coat before my father outed him. He had not daired tell us that he lost his winter coat.