To claim half husbands inheritence

[Guiltydilemma]

I've been pretty miserable for years due to my husbands very unreasonable behaviour. I could go into detail but to avoid this being long winded I'd appreciate it if everyone could take my word for this!. My husband inherited a lot of money about 5 years ago which amounts to about 90% of our joint wealth. We've a couple of kids together and live in a very expensive city. I really want to split but feel unable to as I couldn't financially afford to do this and ensure my children have an ok standard of living without claiming 50% of everything. I feel really guilty about doing this though as it was left by his grandparent. I work part time earning a very small wage and don't think I'd be entitled to any benefits as we own a rental property that is in negative equity!. When we've previously talked about our relationship husband has mentioned he's worried I'm going to make him look stupid by claiming half his money. It appears he's more bothered what people think than our relationship itself!.

well it is not really 'his' money it is family money.
Put yourself first if you are that unhappy!

Even if you were to claim 50% it could take years to sort out. What would you do in the meantime?

I don't get why you need to claim it? Its half yours, take it and spit.

Split even although spit if you want to

I don't think it will be as simple as you deciding whether or not to take half though - and as a pp says it could take a long time. If you are unhappy and badly treated, you should make a plan to leave that doesn't depend on that - your children's quality of life will be better without an unhappy unhealthy family home, even if you have less money.

I am not saying money doean't matter btw, I know it is not as simple as that from.My own life, and struggling brings it's own set of challenges - but in these circs, it is the less important thing.

divorce and get all your entitlements which is half of everything you both have.

With inherited money, I'm not sure you do automatically get half in a divorce, as some people are implying. Isn't it only considered joint if it has been mingled with family money, for example used to pay off the mortgage?

You had children and presumably put your career on hold. You looked after the children, you cooked, washed, ironed, cleaned and planned. It is just not his money, it is yours.
You need to consult a solicitor. You will have to do this anyway if you split. So start to make plans, that include being prepared and forewarned.
In a divorce, knowledge is power.
You wouldn't consider counselling?

Whether or not your husband's inheritance would be counted in a divorce settlement depends entirely on the individual circumstances, so please don't listen to those who say you're entitled to half - you may well not be. All your solicitor would be able to do is to argue a case that you should be entitled to it. Your husband's solicitor may well argue that you aren't. Only the judge can make that decision. There are no hard and fast rules that anyone here can reassure you with.

If you want to split, then split. The money shouldn't come in to it at all.

Thanks everyone. I might just grin and bare him for a couple more years until my littlest is at school and I have the opportunity to work more myself. I know money shouldn't be a deciding factor on whether to split up but I do think it has to be a consideration when you have kids. It's hard enough splitting up when you have kids but to then change their lives even more as you can't provide for them would be even more difficult. I do also feel that my husband would be the type to splash the cash on the kids during his time with them whilst aid have to scrimp giving then beans on toast!.

I'm not familiar with UK family law but I am familiar with American family law and in the USA family inheritances are treated as "separate income" and not considered "joint income," therefore generally a divorcing spouse is not eligible to claim on it. Definitely speak to a solicitor before doing anything!

I read a while back that in Scotland inheritied wealth is not counted as part of a divorce settlement but in England it is. Presumably you are in England. But I don't think it's as straight forward as you can grab half. It depends on circumstances.

I was advised by a solicitor that inherited money doesn't count as joint money when calculating a divorce settlement, that was in England. But it was 12 years ago and quite soon after the inheritance.

My Friends Mother died whilst she was separated but not divorced from her H. As far as I am aware her inheritance went into the joint "pot" of marital assets. (This was a few years back though).

Wasn't there a case recently where a lottery winner divorced and the "marital assets" included what was left of the winnings?

ExH's inheritance was treated as part of the family assets in our divorce (English law). I got more than half the assets and a mesher order on the house. You really need to fight for everything you can because it's tough out there trying to maintain the family as a single parent and you shouldn't feel guilty about taking the money your DCs are entitled to. Get good legal advice.

I would think carefully about trying to bear things just because it will be more comfortable financially. I waited it out for longer than I should have and it was utterly draining and probably not the best example for the kids. It's hard to be a single mum but at least there's some dignity in standing on your own feet and not being downtrodden in an unhappy relationship.

In our case the money is mine, but my solicitor explained the key point is whether the existing joint assets are enough to support both partners in a reasonable way. If they are then the inheritance may well be kept by the person who received it; if not, it may be necessary for it to be shared out

Another issue is that, if they wish to keep the inheritance, the person receiving it has to make sure it's held only in their name and not used for obviously joint purposes - holidays, home improvements, paying of joint debts, etc.

I am a solicitor (albeit not a family lawyer). The law would be that the inheritance is party of the family assets that all go into the one pot when deciding the split. The split is not always 50/50 but that's a pretty good starting point in most cases of divorce and can often go to say 60/40 or 70/30 in favour of a spouse with lower earning potential where there are children of the family residing with that person and depending on the length of the marriage.

On a personal note a friend's parents gave her a holiday cottage (to reduce their assets and in lieu of inheritance). She and her husband divorced less than 3 years later and despite the husband saying he wouldn't want any payment in respect of that he later changed his mind and it ended up in the pot to be split for general sharing.

I also meant to say in England!

Inheritance isn't actually part of the 'family wealth' under family law/ancillary relief legislation.

If you wish to claim upon your husbands inheritance you would have to prove that you have had the benefit of this money during the course of your relationship AND that it is classed as family and joint wealth.

If your husband has always kept his inheritance separate from family finances and has used the money to benefit both parties, then you would find it difficult to include his inheritance as part of family income, and it's likely you wouldn't be entitled to half. This is the current law and has been the case for many years re divorce and entitlements regarding inheritance.

The best advice is don't listen to legalese on the internet but go and get a free half hour at a family law practice to obtain correct legal advice.