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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want DH to buy a cross trainer?

26 replies

ShadowSpiral · 08/03/2015 20:14

For background - DH and I are both very overweight, we probably need to lose around 5 stone each. Recently, we have been doing a lot of thinking and talking about the lifestyle changes we should be making.

DH wants to buy a cross trainer to help him exercise. I'm opposed to this for several reasons:

The one he wants costs over £2000 (DH claims this is worth it if it helps us lose the weight);
We have nowhere we can easily fit this cross trainer;
I don't believe he'll use it enough to justify £2k;
Things are going badly at my work at the minute, my colleagues and I all think redundancies are looming, and £2k is a significant chunk of my annual salary.

We have previously owned a rowing machine and a (cheaper) cross trainer that we got rid of when we moved house because we didn't use them. We also currently have a stationary bicycle that DH hasn't used once since he set it up 3 months ago.

I have said to DH that if he actually uses the stationary bike regularly for a few months, then I'll believe that there's a good chance he'll regularly use a cross trainer, and we can reconsider getting a cross trainer, although I'd still want it to be cheaper than the one he's talking about.

DH says that I am being negative and undermining his (as yet unstarted) plans to lose weight.

AIBU?

OP posts:
TendonQueen · 08/03/2015 20:19

YANBU. Daft to make such a big purchase if you may lose your job. Where I am you can join a local-authority run gym for a reasonable monthly payment (deals for couples too) and use their cross trainer, then you could buy one if six months down the line it's the best thing ever. Plus summer is coming and walking/running round local parks will be a lot more manageable.

TendonQueen · 08/03/2015 20:20

Oh, and this looks suspiciously like a handy way for him to make it your fault that he isn't going to lose any weight.

NoPillows · 08/03/2015 20:20

YANBU in my book! What does he say when u point out all the facts to him? If its just "you're being negative... undermining my efforts" then he is definitely BU.
For 2k you could probably have a life-time membership at my gym for all the family!
Push for a compromise... change eating habits, use the stationary bike for example.

I have seen this behaviour a lot in myself when people try to lose weight, they pin point a certain thing be it a juicer or a diet plan etc and think this is the panacea. It is not.

pinkyredrose · 08/03/2015 20:21

Why don't you both join gyms?

storminabuttercup · 08/03/2015 20:23

I bought a cross trainer a year ago. I've used it three times. The idea is great the reality is that if you don't use what you have at the min you won't use it.

I agree get him to show he will use the bike then rethink!

FindoGask · 08/03/2015 20:24

No, you're not being unreasonable. There are plenty of ways to exercise in the home without spending £2000 on a cross trainer. They are dull as all hell and you'll both just end up hanging clothes on it.

For a fraction of that he could get a dumbbell set, maybe a couple of kettlebells, an exercise mat, some decent work out DVDs, and a copy of the book "You Are Your Own Gym" - or similar, which helps you work out circuit-style routines of different bodyweight exercises.

I'm assuming he doesn't want to go to the gym, which is fair enough - I don't like the gym either, so I exercise at home and run every other day. It is totally possible to get fit without relying on expensive equipment.

Discopanda · 08/03/2015 20:24

YANBU at all. Try www.fitnessblender.com it's a husband and wife team that post free workout videos, you can choose level of intensity, type of exercise, what areas you want to work on, etc. If he's just planning on doing one kind of exercise, he'll plateau very quickly, and it sounds like it'll be a waste of money.

Cantbelievethisishappening · 08/03/2015 20:26

The bike would be better as you can do tabata type workouts on it which are very effective in fitness and weight loss.

Nyancat · 08/03/2015 20:28

what about hiring one for a few months. I hired a treadmill recently for the house to see whether I would use it regularly before committing to buying.

Original poster
ShadowSpiral · 08/03/2015 20:35

Re. the gym - we're not keen on gyms - we joined one before, and we both found it intimidating and had to force ourselves to go. Possibly we just picked the wrong gym, but neither of us really want to join another one. Plus, DH works long hours, so if he was doing exercise after work, something he can do at home would be easier for him to fit into his day.

He also seems to think that if he gets this cross trainer, he'll suddenly magically want to do exercise. I'm sceptical about this notion.

OP posts:
Original poster
ShadowSpiral · 08/03/2015 20:38

The hiring one idea is interesting, I didn't know you could hire fitness equipment for the home.

Definitely something to consider before buying one, if things get that far.

OP posts:
PeppermintCrayon · 08/03/2015 20:52

A gym membership would be much cheaper. I think it's worth giving it another try - my gym is open until 10pm. Gyms also give you some variety for when you get bored of a particular piece of equipment, and it's good to mix it up anyway.

This is a RIDICULOUS amount of money to spend when you are worried about your job.

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 08/03/2015 20:57

It's a mad idea, YANBU. Can't you both start the Couch to 5k or something? Just buy a pair of trainers each and go whenever it suits you.

weeblueberry · 08/03/2015 21:09

I totally agree with the gym/renting suggestions. When I regularly went to the gym (back before DD1 Envy) I absolutely loved the cross trainer and really would have had one, and used it, if we'd had room in the house. I still think Id love one. But its got to be something where you KNOW its your machine if you know what I mean? Most people who I tell I loved the cross trainer look at me like I've got two heads and proclaim they hated it!!

Bair · 08/03/2015 21:09

For that money you could find a nice gym that you like and a personal trainer. I used to have a personal trainer (just a once a month session to keep me on track) and they were positive and motivating and helped me suit my workout to the results I wanted. Don't be put off by the whole drill Sargent image that's on some tv shows. My trainer was a lovely young man in his early 20's who was sweet, kind and encouraging.

BigChocFrenzy · 08/03/2015 21:21

No need to buy anything.
Do pressups, tricep dips on a step, bodyweight squats, lunges, plank to build some muscle
Try tabata for e.g. burpees, jumping jacks, situps

If he really wants equipment to motivate him, then:
Buy a skipping rope, a set of dumbbells (e.g. under £30 from Argos)

bette06 · 08/03/2015 21:23

YANBU. I find that when you want to make a big change there's a temptation to make a big gesture like buying an expensive piece of equipment or subscribing to a year's gym membership as it makes you feel like you've really taken a big step towards your goal - when actually that's achieved nothing and it's all about sticking with something on a day-to-day basis and incorporating it into your routine. (I haven't mastered the secret of the latter but I now try to resist the urge to make big purchases!)

Have you considered other options like taking up running (which you could do locally, whenever suits you) - or taking up a sport which you might enjoy enough to stick with it?

If you want to give the gym another go, some offer free day passes for potential members to try it out - or you can buy one day passes at payasugym - so that you can try out a few gyms and see if there is one which suits you.

NotQuiteCockney · 08/03/2015 21:23

If you must buy exercise equipment for home use, gumtree normally has lots of it available super cheap. (Because nobody ever uses home exercise equipment!)

AlpacaMyBags · 08/03/2015 21:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsMook · 08/03/2015 21:27

YANBU. It's got high potential to be a great waste of money and space. I have an exercise bike that I use for warming up for runs or short bursts of intense exercise. I went for the cheapest thing that was stable as I knew it would bore me in large doses.

A cheap and compact home gym can be set up with a mat, weights, kettlebells, resistance bands and various other items depending on what you want to achieve. Walking/ running are free and more entertaining ways to build cardiovascular fitness. The C25k plan is an excellent introduction to running starting with just one minute at a time.

There are much cheaper, more interesting and flexible options than splurging on one cross trainer.

19lottie82 · 08/03/2015 21:35

I agree with the idea of hiring one. If your DH really has this idea stuck in his head and isn't backing down then this so the sensible option. If (when) he doesn't use it enough to warrant the monthly hire cost you can return it, no harm done.

missusdaly · 08/03/2015 21:47

YANBU at all. If you had two grand to spare and wanted to spend it on fitness equipment then it would be much better to spread it out and purchase a variety of items. It's only possible to do one type of exercise on a cross trainer -a static one - and one type of exercise, no matter how great the exercise is, will not have much long-term benefit.

But without a spare £2k knocking around there are still several better options. A sport, as a PP suggested, would be great for motivation. Doesnt have a be a team sport, just something you enjoy. If you enjoy it, you'll do it. You'll want to do it.

Or you (you both, obviously) could download a c25k app and then all you need is running gear. You can squeeze a run in whenever suits but it is weather dependant. Combine this with some free weights and you're laughing.

ManOfSpiel · 08/03/2015 21:47

I'm a regular gym goer but find it very hard to do anything at home. We have a spin bike, weights, gymnastics rings etc but don't use them nearly as much as I should.

However, the one thing I found excellent value for money was the Insanity DVD set. It was a great motivator and I did it with my wife, which also helped.

You don't have to do Insanity but would recommend it.

If you want inspiration then this never ceases to motivate me.

louwn · 08/03/2015 21:50

Walk or run, its free and gets you out in the fresh air.

Miffytastic · 08/03/2015 21:52

YANBU I bought a brilliant ex-display one on ebay for £150, £2k is daft

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