To think I may be suffering from depression?

[Glitterball86]

I'm not entirely sure this is the correct place for
Me to be posting this but am at the end of
My tether and needed to get a few things of
My chest.

Firstly, I was made redundant before Christmas (sadly, I loved my old job) and got another job, in same industry doing the same as I was doing previously (a bit less I have found - but am
Not complaining)

I am not looking for sympathy or anything I really just needed to vent before I continue and apologies in advance for the long winded post!!

Anyway, fast forward a few months I absolutely hate my job, I had come to that conclusion within the first few weeks of me starting there to be honest, I have witnessed bullying, been called thick and generally feel really uncomfortable in the working environment (it's a small office and I have over heard numerous conversations where staff slag off other staff members which immediately makes me uneasy and I do not get involved in any bitching as, quite frankly, I don't have time for that.

Anyway, since deciding I would look for a new job in January and after a conversation with the big boss whereby I explained my concerns (and was advised I should pull people up when I witness inappropriate behaviour despite me having no leadership responsibilities and being at a very low level in the office) I discovered I was pregnant.

Am happy I am pregnant, please don't get me wrong, am almost 12 weeks now and September can't come soon enough :)

However, I am suffering from Severe morning sickness and have been hospitalised in the last week for three days and have been signed off again for another two weeks.

I am now spending my days, feeling rather sorry for
Myself, crying a lot, stressing about money (or potentially the lack of I am not even sure if I am entitled to sick pay as haven't recieved my contract but haven't been advised I won't be paid either - didn't want to ask because I felt this would come across the wrong way) and am dreading going back to work the thought turns my stomach and I have been in tears at the thought.

My partner understands I don't like it etc but thinks I should carry on as there won't be long left to work before I can take maternity leave and I see his point however, he had recently become very emotionally abusive and has suggested that if I am getting depressed now I am
More likely to suffer with post natel depression and has said he will take the baby away from me if I do , which I really don't want, and he doesn't understand why I don't want to get dressed or even leave the house or spend most of my time crying or led hugging the toilet bowl

I don't have any friends, my partner doesn't like them and has made this clear and I have stopped all contact as a result (stupid I know) but I am at a loss as to what to do? Who can I speak to?

Thank you for reading and I am sorry for rambling x

Sorry to hear you're having a tough time. You might be depressed, I suggest going to see your doctor. They are usually the first port of call. Just be honest with them. Your partner isn't exactly being a help. The mental health boards on here are brilliant. Try there XXX

It doesn't sound to me as though you need a toxic job or a toxic abusive partner in your life.

Please look after yourself.

In the first 12 weeks of pregnancy, emotions and feelings can be all over the place. Your whole system is literally flooded with hormones that can have you crying one minute and flying into a rage, the next. it doesn't mean you are more likely to suffer from PND.

You've had a rough few months with the job situation and with severe sickness. Your job sounds like it's making you thoroughly miserable, so if you can manage on sick pay, I'd take some time off and just take a bit of time out.

Your partner sounds controlling and unsupportive and, out of everything you've said in your post, his behaviour stands out the most as a likely cause of anxiety and depression. Someone saying they'll take your baby off you if you are depressed, is just plain cruel :( I think you can cope with a lot in life if you feel supported and cared for and your partner doesn't sound as if he is helping you through this rough spell at all.

What your partner has said re depression is rubbish. Not only rubbish but cruel :(

You've had a really rough time of it with the job situation and severe pregnancy sickness and need support and care, not someone saying you're more likely to suffer PND and that they'll take your baby off you if you do!

In the first few months of pregnancy your body is flooded with hormones that can make you feel anxious, tearful, angry, really emotional etc. It's entirely normal to feel this way. you possibly are depressed, but from what you say, I wonder if it's more a case of you being stressed, miserable, knackered and unsupported?

If you can manage on sick pay for a while, then i'd take some time out, regardless of what your partner thinks. It's not a sign of how you will cope with your baby, it's something lots of women do because pregnancy can make you feel wrecked sometimes.

Someone once said to me that if you feel depressed, look at the people around you. It really made me think. If you have people around you who support you, it makes getting through tough stuff like dealing with awful people at work, or bad morning sickness etc, far more bearable.

If it is possible that you are depressed please see a gp, they can help you, dont go through this alone.

Sorry about double post. Didn't think my first one had gone but obviously it has.