To make my DD look at the horrible pictures on some cigarette packaging

[shutupaboutstarwars]

DS was given some of those candy sticks in a party bag and shared them out. DD said "look at me I'm smoking". She has done this once before months ago and we had a discussion about it then. This obviously hadn't worked as she did it again. So I went online straight away and found horrible pictures of the kind that you find on some cigarette packages. It made her feel a bit funny. And I am now feeling a bit guilty. But thinking about it she is the same age as my DB when we went to visit our great uncle in the hospice as he had terminal lung cancer (40 cigarettes a day for 40 years) . It turned out to be 6 hours before he died. My memories of that brief visit are far worse than any of the photos I have ever seen on packaging (I was 10). It has meant that I have never ever even considered smoking. What should I have done?

How old is dd?
My mam died of lung cancer a few years back. I'm constantly talking about it with my dds so they see the link between her death and smoking, to hopefully put the off. They are 11, 6 and 5.

How old is your dd? for me that makes a huge difference. if she is 10+ then you were probably right, younger and I would say ywbu and be prepared for nightmares

I cared a man dying from end stage copd, suffering from almost constant seizures due to lack of oxygen getting to the brain. The end results of long term smoking aren't pretty, I frequently want to drag patients who want to go for a fag to see those who are now dying because they made the decision to smoke too.

It's hard to understand I think if you don't personally experience or see the effects in real life. And even then it doesn't affect everyone - several of my nursing colleagues smoke despite having worked for NHS for years.

I would show her the pictures though. Probably some good films on youtube as well.

We had totravel to see my mam as she was living 300 miles away. My uncle, aunt and cousins still kept going out for a cig, while watching my mam die (she was only 48 :( )

YANBU. You should do everything in your power to stop them smoking.

My DH was a heavy smoker for 30+ years. He died of heart attack at the age of 50. I wish those types of pictures were around when he started.

*think them smoking is cool

YANBU for educating her about the effects of smoking. But I think you might be reading too much into her messing about with the sweets. I remember buying those sweets (and the ones they used to sell that looked very like cigarettes and came in a box that looked like a cigarette box ffs!) so I could pretend to smoke them. Think I was about 10. I've never smoked though; what we want to pretend to do at age 10 and what we actually want to do in real life can be very different.

It's fine.

I've googled pics of obese kids, rotting teeth, smokers lungs and all sorts of grim things to show my two kids (7&5).

Pictures mean something, words don't to kids. Mine aren't the type to have nightmares though. They just grimace and ask to see more pics, but it cements my reasons as to why they can't have another glass of coke/ice cream/smoke in the future.

It depends on her age
Back in the 70s at age 16 we had health lecture after our summer exams
They passed round a black , cancerous lung in a plastic bag!
I have never smoked

I think it's fine as long as your dd doesn't love anyone like a grandparent who smokes, because it could just scare her needlessly.

She is 8. She is also happier than most to look at anatomical type things. Eg we went to a museum and they were advertising the brain exhibition everywhere you looked and she really wanted to look at it. Didn't realise until we got to the exhibit that it was recommended it for 14 plus. She looked so disappointed when I said that it might not be suitable that we decided to go and have a look anyway (DS 1 and 2 didn't want to look at all and went to a different exhibit instead). She was fascinated and we spent ages looking round. Not sure that she is ready to look at the videos on you tube. She has had quite a few cuddles this morning so I am feeling a bit guilty about it. I haven't shown the pictures to DS 1 and 2 (she is in the middle ) as I know that they wouldn't cope well with it. They did see her face when she was looking at the pictures though and I think this helped get the message through to them

I am amazed that anyone still buys those candy cigarettes.

Anyway, you're not being unreasonable. The reason I never smoked was that all of my dad's family did and had every disgusting trait you associate with a smoker as a result. Filthy, stinking, stained homes. Burns in clothes and soft furnishing. Diseased pets dying painfully and prematurely. Discoloured fingers, hair and teeth. Revolting breath and a horrendous stench of stale smoke. Utter selfishness - they wouldn't contemplate not smoking even when there were children with asthma around. Narrowing circle of friends and acquaintances as smoking became less tolerated in public spaces and other's homes and nobody wanted to be in their homes much.

They died of pneumonia, stroke, heart attack and lung cancer. Frankly, even their deaths were disgusting to witness - choking, rotten, off putting noises, thick phlegm.

Witnessing all that as a child put me off for life.

I wish smokers could see the feet of heavy smokers. Having home visited too many patients who smoked i can report the end part of their life is awful. So many tell me never to start. I never world. The struggling to breath, the loosing of various body parts... However i remember doing the same with those candy sticks and have never ever smoked.

Absolutely not unreasonable

If I am ever worried that my kids may get involved in drugs then I intend to take them to a nearby town to view all the junkies collecting their methadone. I think if more people saw the eventual results of smoking & drugs then less would ever be tempted to start

I remember the sweet cigarettes (very tasty) but as I don't recall anyone smoking around me in my childhood, it never occurred to me to match the two up.

when I did meet smokers, the instant reaction was 'pooh - what a stink'. So it also never occurred to me to smoke. One big childhood message was also 'don't be a sheep' and that may also help. No-one starts smoking because they like the taste or smell.

as I grew up in the stinky seventies, perhaps my parents may have dropped some hints about how smelly smokers are but I don't honestly remember. Will ask!

I have an eight year old. I wouldn't show her those pics they are horrible. she has grandparents who smoke so I've carefully avoided telling the

her the full extent of the damage they cause as I don't want her worrying about something she can't change. I have told her It isn't good for you and she thinks it's disgusting so that's enough.

I think u read too much into the candy cigarettes. I did the same as a child but have never smoked

What NeedScarf said above. I don't care about the pictures but I wouldn't take it more seriously than boys playing with toy swords.

I'm not sure smoking is as big a thing now as it was when I was a teenager. I think the most influential thing is whether DC are used to seeing adults smoke.
I have 17/19 year olds and they and all their friends are zealously anti-smoking. It's not really something I've ever made a big deal of, but no one in our family or friends smokes.