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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

wedding day...

26 replies

trukevoli · 07/03/2015 18:28

would I be completely unreasonable to plan a wedding for a week day if we give the guests over a years notice to save costs?

OP posts:

GokTwo · 07/03/2015 18:29

Not at all.

FatSwan · 07/03/2015 18:30

Yanbu

ilovesooty · 07/03/2015 18:31

Depends if it's in term time and whether you expect children or people who work in schools to attend.

LittleMissRayofHope · 07/03/2015 18:31

YANBU.
It's your wedding have it whenever you want.
But just be prepared that even with notice not everyone you invite will choose to use a days holiday to come.

For example: my SIL has all this years holiday booked and it all revolves around child care issues and their family holiday.

GoooRooo · 07/03/2015 18:31

No, but keep in mind that even with lots of notice some people will not be able to come on a week day.

I got married abroad and invited loads of people on the understanding that I knew a) some people didn't want to spend the money to go abroad (although it would actually have been cheaper for them to go than to stay in a hotel in Essex for a night should we have got married at home) and b) it would mean travelling during the week so some people just couldn't come - teachers and so on. As long as you are okay with that then its fine.

crje · 07/03/2015 18:31

No,but.......

Giving 12 mts wont guarantee all the people will go.

Christelle2207 · 07/03/2015 18:31

We did this, sent save the date emails about a year in advance. Turned out to be fine for most, though there were still a small proportion that couldn't get the time off.

liebestraum · 07/03/2015 18:33

No, but as others say, be prepared to accept a smaller attendance.

Trills · 07/03/2015 18:34

Depends on the weekday

Friday - might be OK

Wednesday - not so OK

Also depends how many people would have to travel (and so take that day and the day after off, if midweek).

And what jobs people have (teachers often can't get time off in term time).

And how many children you are inviting (are they having to take time off school?).

Many wedding venues have Sunday much cheaper than Saturday, even when it's a Bank Holiday weekend and so people don't have to work the Monday.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 07/03/2015 18:34

Not UR at all. This is what Save The Dates were invented for.

The only thing id say is if you have aby teachers as family/friends, and want kids there, do it in the school holidays.

There may well still be people who cannot go, regardless, but then, there are also people who work weekends and may not get the time off, so tbh theres always going to ve the chance of Declines.

This summer I am at a wedding on a Tuesday. Its a bit less preferable than a Thurs/Fri but I want to go, so day off it is.

MehsMum · 07/03/2015 18:36

No. A Friday would be fine, I think.
We got married on a Monday. Almost everyone made it, apart from a few who decided not to drive due to the snow...

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 07/03/2015 18:36

Oh and people will be more likely to leave early on a weeknight - they may be happy to take a day off for the wedding but probably dont want to take the next day off too. I worked weddings in a hotel and the weeknight weddings were always half empty by 10pm.

MGFM · 07/03/2015 18:37

I got married on a Thursday - only one person couldn't come due to work.

NerrSnerr · 07/03/2015 18:38

If I had to take more than one day off work (eg if I had to travel a couple of hours so needed a hotel) I probably wouldn't go unless you was a close friend/ family.

Cantbelievethisishappening · 07/03/2015 18:39

People may well need 2 or 3 days depending on where they are and timings of ceremony etc. Some may need to travel up the day before. People may well wish to be able to party/drink so will need the next day off to.

Friend of mine had a weekday wedding and quite a few dropped out. A Monday or a Thursday/Friday might be better.

ClashCityRocker · 07/03/2015 18:41

We got married on a Friday, it was fine - we did have a smallish day do for family and closest friends only and then a larger party at night (although I know the two-tiered system is NOT THE DONE THING on mn...meanwhile, in the rest of the world...)

I wouldn't object to taking a day off work to go to a wedding, however if you have guests from farther afield, which will necessitate an overnight or possibly two night stay as well as the requisite time off work, people may decline.

ClashCityRocker · 07/03/2015 18:42

To add, YANBU as long as you don't get shitty if people can't make it,

ElmerRocks · 07/03/2015 18:50

I had a weekday wedding, our guests were told as soon as we'd booked it, they had about 18 months notice. Official invites went out about 8 months before the actual wedding (was supposed to be 12 but life happened and got in the way)
Nearly all of the people who were invited turned up, it was in the evening so most people had either finished work in time for the reception, or took a couple of hours off in the afternoon.
The few who didn't turn up had good reasons other than my father who is a knob and wasn't missed anyway and hasn't been missed since

Just bear in mind, that even with that much notice, a few still won't be able to make it. But to be honest, in my experience of weddings I think it's unlikely 100% of people invited turn up anyway, no matter what day/time/season etc

Alisvolatpropiis · 07/03/2015 18:51

Yanbu.

I got married on a Friday last year. A few couldn't come due to work commitments but most were able to attend.

ElmerRocks · 07/03/2015 18:52

Oh and as PP have said, expect people to leave early if they have work/school the next day. My guests with children all left around 9pm. But our venue closed for the night at 11pm anyway so most other people stayed until the end.

SnottyCowbag · 07/03/2015 18:54

Yanbu -

A Friday or a Monday would be better than midweek as guests could then make a long weekend out of it.

Is it a big wedding?

Do you know if anyone has the type of job where it will be difficult to get time off?
Will anyone have to come from far away?

If you have an evening do then you could consider starting earlier and finishing earlier as guests might not want to stay out too late.

I had a weekday wedding but it was very small and we knew everyone could make it beforehand.

Messygirl · 07/03/2015 18:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Whycantibetangy · 07/03/2015 18:58

My dh has never been to a Saturday event for the 20+ years we have been together. His work just doesnt allow it...ever! I am very used to being on the singles table (and generally having a right old time)

InThisTogether · 07/03/2015 19:03

YANBU
do it. people will whinge, but if you do it on a weekend they'll whinge about something else. People love whinging about weddings.
Have a great day!

countessmarkyabitch · 07/03/2015 19:34

You can plan your wedding anytime, anywhere and however you want to.
Invited guests can decline or accept the invitation for any reason.

I'll never understand why anyone thinks otherwise about weddings.

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