I feel like I'm drowning

[hopingforamiracle]

I'm trying to change things, but change won't come. I've had depression and social anxiety since I was a child, and I don't know what to do anymore. I try so hard to be positive and see the joy in little things, but I'm surrounded by toxic people and I have nobody else in this world. I thought about having a child, because it would save my life.

What are you trying to change? Can you step away from the people who are causing you distress?

IMHO a child does not fix depression. It takes a lot more emotional energy to look after a baby than the baby gives back and it will just be a further source of disappointment if you are hoping it would make you feel whole and loved.

Do you want to talk about your situation?

I'm trying to get social housing, but I fear i will become even more isolated if i move out. I have no friends, haven't had a friend since I was 13 and I'm 24 now. I just feel hopeless and sometimes wish I could go peacefully in my sleep.

Do you work? Have any hobbies? Sometimes it can take a while to find people who you have things in common with, but they will be there.

hoping have you looked into support for you MH problems?

Have you spoken to anyone in RL at all? A GP?

Could you discuss your feelings with a counsellor? They may try and help you see things from a different perspective in order for you to become a lot more positive about life and the people around you.