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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel sad about my DS's last breastfeed

52 replies

MrsNuckyThompson · 06/03/2015 22:13

DS is 23.5 months. I'm about to go away for work for a week. We've only been doing one feed a day for the last 4 months or so. He never asks for BM.

So it feels like the right time to stop. I'm ready and so's he.

I'm so sad. I fed him tonight with big fat tears on my cheeks. My baby. It's the end of an era.

OP posts:

Haggisfish · 06/03/2015 23:14

Yanbu. I sobbed and sobbed too!

DixieNormas · 06/03/2015 23:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cantbelievethisishappening · 06/03/2015 23:15

Why thank you very much

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 06/03/2015 23:21

I cried when I gave DS his last bottle before bed (when he was two). He still has a cuddle to go to sleep (now he's 3) and I don't doubt I will have a bit of a cry when he doesn't need that anymore. It's just a reaction I think some people have to things growing and changing.

FuckOffGroundhog · 06/03/2015 23:24

I thought cant response was quite reasonable. Black was really rude.

I have a one year old and I am so fed up of BF, but equally I know I will be devastated when I do give it up

FuckOffGroundhog · 06/03/2015 23:27

I never cried when I stopped the bottles because they were doing it themselves at that point (and I was trying to get them off the bottle because I was worried about their teeth!)

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 06/03/2015 23:29

Yeah, it was just the only time during the day where he would sit still, on my lap, and have a nice quiet cuddle where I could sniff his hair and snuggle him.

FuckOffGroundhog · 06/03/2015 23:38

Aw that's lovely. My toddlers lose the lovely hair smell, and smell quite hamstery.

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 06/03/2015 23:40

Took him nearly 2 years to grow a decent head of hair. Think that helped keep the baby-hair smell for so long.

MissusThePoint · 06/03/2015 23:46

Black as clear as day, this is about a loving mother feeling teary about her baby growing up. Something which is completely normal!!

I get all teary when I go up in the loft and start looking through all their old clothes!

OP my DS weaned himself off at about 13 months. I thought it was too soon... but he started turning away from me and giving me a wtf look! Which, actually, when I think about it, is the same look he gives me now when I put some vegetables on his plate. Cheeky little blighter.

canny1234 · 06/03/2015 23:49

I was really sad too when I did my last ever feed ( no 4) and I knew I wasn't having any more.The little blighter used to bite me though and then grin up at me!Breastfeeding produces hormones in mothers so there will be a bit of adjustment for a few days.But there will be lots of exciting milestones ahead to look forward to in the future.

TwoOddSocks · 06/03/2015 23:51

YANBU but I confess to being a bit jealous! My DS is 2.5 and I'm beginning to realise that the self weaning thing is never going to happen (at least not on a time frame I'm happy with). I'm sure I'll always feel sad about the last feed....but can't wait for it at the same time!

NobodyLivesHere · 06/03/2015 23:59

I sort of see where Black is coming from. Ive never been sentimental about my children stopping doing things like breastfeeding or sleeping in my bed or any of those things. I enjoyed them at the time, but I don't feel sad at them growing up, quite the opposite I love seeing them become independent people. I have a family member who cries every birthday. ?? I find that really quite odd.

Bimblepops · 07/03/2015 00:15

I fed DS1 til 18mths, stopping when I was pregnant with DS2 and it got too painful! Then stopped with DS2 @ 10mths when I had to stop due to bad back pain I had to take hardcore painkillers for 2 mths.

I spent AGES feeling sad and beating myself up about stopping (was even considering pumping and dumping for TWO MONTHS!) but my GP slapped me back into normal life!

Many years later, I can honestly say that both my kids are kind, loving, cuddly, affectionate, good at sharing, totally capable of sleeping at other people's houses and generally just completely normal, great kids.

thewavesofthesea · 07/03/2015 00:47

I stopped about a year ago with my youngest, when he was about 28 months. It was irritating the hell out of me; but I was still a bit sad about it. We still continued to cuddle at night to go to sleep until he was ready to settle himself, and we still have just as close a relationship. He still remembers feeding (I think) and I just feel blessed I was able to do it for both of my sons

missingmumxox · 07/03/2015 03:07

I only feed and really not really my Dts for 3 weeks they where in SCBU for 2 weeks, it was a hiding to nothing for me they where too tiny to latch so I expressed, pil brought me a pump. Elective early c section so no hormones kicking in.
I expressed one morning at 3 am after not feeding for 2 hours I got 20 mls, I never once got let down, with them crying, I gave up, I cried and cried, midwife and HV where stars the next day, and before (midwife kept me on to 21 days as premie twins)
It was awful giving it up I just stopped no engorgement nothing it was like I never had given birth, best I ever did expressing for SCUB was 50 mls at a time, I read the books and had milked cows... So I know stimulation is key.

I missed the after only a week on the Breast it was so calm and lovely I cried for that missed closeness, after a long time I really can not imagine you lose, it is hard,

MrsMook · 07/03/2015 04:59

Both times I found the thought of stopping worse than the actual deed. Ds1 was 13m, and Ds2 was 21m, and that pause to snuggle them was lovely. But you still get snuggles after. It's also great not having your clothes mauled and having a voice shout "milk!" at inappropriate times. Thanks Ds2.

katese11 · 07/03/2015 07:24

YANBU at all. It's good that you could remember the last feed in a way. I've just weaned dd this week (34 months) and I don't know when her last feed was. I certainly wasn't aware at the time it was the last one. It's just one day this week I managed to get her to sleep without milk so did it again the next night and the next and now I'm not going back. Kinda sad but also v relieved.

For the mockers, the hormone crash when you stop bfing is well documented so it's perfectly natural to feel weepy. It doesn't mean you have issues. HTH.

MadgeMak · 07/03/2015 07:30

YANBU to feel sad. Others ANBU to not feel sad. I personally look forward to the end of my breastfeeding days, but I can empathise if others don't look forward to it in the same way.

Mixtape · 07/03/2015 07:32

I Bf DS1 for 14 months until he self weaned, and planned to feed DS2 at least as long, and as I wasn't having anymore, to be totally led by him and bf as long as he wanted. To be honest, I was a tiny bit deflated when at 11 months, he suddenly sat up during a bf, pushed himself off me, and ran off (oh and he walked really early so it looked freakish as he was really small and baby like but running around like a toddler)

I did try another feed, but he just pushed me away. I was a bit sad, but my friend did point out that at least I would never be in any doubt that it was time to stop!

Claybury · 07/03/2015 07:53

YANBU at all! Bless you x
I also went away for a week when DS was 18 months. So it felt the time to stop feeding. But when I got back back I seem to remember a couple of feeds, at nap time, not planned, but there was some milk to get rid of. Sounds a bit strange, and it was a bit , but you may feed a handful more times.
My DC's are older now, memories of BFing are very special.
Can't believe some people's lack of sentimentality on here !

Cliffdiver · 07/03/2015 07:54

I cried when I fed DD1 for the final time. To commemorate I took a picture and got a breastfeeding keepsake made (a necklace made with my breastmilk).

Currently BFing DD2 (almost 1yo) and at the moment I love and hate breastfeeding in equal measures. Sometimes she will lay lovely and still and be all snuggley but other times she will wriggle, squirm and twist round and balance on one leg .

Cliffdiver · 07/03/2015 07:55

Meant to add, am glad you had a lovely breastfeeding journey op, enjoy your DS growing up and having your body back .

bigbluestars · 07/03/2015 07:57

I didn't feel sad- I felt very relieved.

My children self weaned and I was happy to see the back of breastfeeding.

I can understand others feeling sentimental though- but I just wanted lactation to be over when the time came.

HamishBamish · 07/03/2015 07:59

the hormone crash when you stop bfing is well documented so it's perfectly natural to feel weepy. It doesn't mean you have issues.

Absolutely. I found it took me quite a while to feel absolutely 'right' after stopping, even though we were down to a feed every couple of days by that point. Tbh, I can't actually remember the last feed. It happened so gradually and I never actually made the decision to stop, it just petered out. I do look back on it with great fondness though and can understand people getting teary over stopping. It's such a large part of the early years, it's like the end of an era in a way.

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