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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think people take their DC to the doctor too often?

139 replies

MrsTawdry · 06/03/2015 22:04

AIBU? So many people I know are always off to the docs with their DC. "Oh he's been coughing and sneezing for the last two days"

Or "Oh she's not eating her dinner and sleeping badly..." that one was about a teething toddler by the way.

I didn't even take my DDs when they had Chicken Pox!

Was that bad of me? I just gave them some over the counter medicine and applied calamine and some other stuff the chemist gave me for the bath.

Should I have taken them? Am I lax?

The DC I'm talking about don't have impaired immunes or asthma or anything...

OP posts:
base9 · 07/03/2015 07:44

Yabu. The far greater problem is children not being taken when they need to be seen. Preventative healthcare is a huge cost savings to the nhs as people end up in hospital less often and have better outcomes when problems are caught early.

base9 · 07/03/2015 07:45

And LandroverFlowers

treaclesoda · 07/03/2015 07:56

I very rarely take my children to the doctor but that's because I'm fortunate that they are rarely ill.

I dud take dc1 with chickenpox though. Not because I thought 'oh, she has cp, must take her to the Dr' but because I had no idea what it was as she didn't have the symptoms that I would have expected.

I think some people do overuse the gp but without knowing someone's entire medical history it's not really possible to judge. If eg you had meningitis as a child it would make perfect sense that you would fear every high temperature in your own child because it would be something you're very aware of.

Ouchbloodyouch · 07/03/2015 07:56

You know your child. I have a friend who takes her son to the doctors with every cold and stomach bug. She is one of those who wants anti-bs for a sneeze. YANBU

Taz1212 · 07/03/2015 08:02

I took DD to the GP when she had chickenpox because she was only 5 months old and I was worried about one of the spots that was right next to her eye. I mentioned in passing that she'd caught it from her brother and was told off by the GP for not bringing her brother in because it was a notifiable disease and they wanted to see children to confirm!

Seekingtheanswers · 07/03/2015 08:04

I took my dd to the doctor with a bad cough & cold when she was a toddler. Felt like I was wasting his time and nearly didn't bother, but she didn't seem quite right and I didn't want to take any chances.

The GP sent us straight to A&E and she was hospitalised for a couple of days as they were concerned about her oxygen levels. I had no idea.

TheSolitaryWanderer · 07/03/2015 08:08

Both mine rarely went to the Dr, but then I never thought they were seriously ill and tended to deal with a lot of it myself.
But the key point is that if you take your child to the GP every time you are worried, you might be wasting the Dr's time.
If you don't, and you miss something serious, or it develops rapidly into a crisis, then the worst case scenario is that you have a dead child. And I can't imagine anything more devastating than that.

guiltynetter · 07/03/2015 08:09

landrover I'm so sorry you didn't get the help you needed.

ThisFenceIsComfy · 07/03/2015 08:11

I took my DS quite a bit when he was a little baby. I found it hard to judge how serious illness was for him and I worried a lot. After a while I calmed down. I remember the GP saying that they didn't mind, they were always happy to check a little child.

Landrover Flowers

SomewhereIBelong · 07/03/2015 08:19

DD12 has not been since she went through her jabs - then it was to see the nurse, not the doctor... DD14 has allergies so maybe every 2 years we have to go for a medication review.

I am lucky - mine are generally "robust" and don't tend to get ill.

Some folks do seem to always be there - I have a couple of friends who use the doc as a first port of call, whereas we would go to the pharmacy for a verruca/sore throat/nappy rash, for instance, they would go to the doc. But, then, I'm sure the doc would let them know if they were wasting his/her time.

Tends to be people like my MIL who are ALWAYS at the doc though (not people with kids). She seems to have everything wrong with her that is non-fatal... (diverticular disease, irritable bowel, COPD, emphysema, type 2 diabetes, asthma, arthritis, sciatica, psoriasis, thrush, acid reflux .. I could go on for a page or 2 - trouble is a lot of it seems to be caused or worsened by the medication given for something else..)

CountingToThree · 07/03/2015 08:19

I took my ds,3, to the doctors because he'd been crying a lot one night - not entirely out of character for him!. He has speech delay so difficult to ask him what was wrong. He does have night terrors but this felt different - turned out to be a perforated ear drum.

Having not taken either of mine to docs apart from jabs, I've been about six times in last couple of months with uti, constipation and now this. Sometimes it just seems to happen like that, docs have been fab everytime

SteppeAwayFromTheKeyboard · 07/03/2015 08:31

I do think we have lost the skill to understand everyday illnesses.
eg V&D - what is normal, how to treat and what to look for as a sign that you DO have to call the gp.

I agree that I hear people saying things like - she has had it for 24 hours and is still throwing up so I took her to the GP. I resist the temptation to ask basic question, eg, are they drinking, is any fluid staying down, are the showing signs of dehydration, etc, which to me are all reasons why I would be concerned, otherwise I wouldn't think twice about V&D lasting 48 hours.

I didn't take my youngest with CP and the nursery wouldn't put up a warning sign to parents that a case of CP had been found because it hadn't been confirmed by GP. She was a text book classic case (sigh)

But I also know that with CP, if you get certain symptoms, then you should get to a doctor.

BubblesInMyBath · 07/03/2015 08:31

I find it so hard to judge - last time I called 111 expecting to be told to just keep an eye we were rushed to hospital by ambulance and thank goodness we got treated in time

Naturally I'm more anxious now so went to drs today for something and my kid ran round the waiting room hyper as a kite - but of course that wasn't how he was at home when screaming he was in pain and I thought I was being bloody brave not to call an ambulance (drs could see him within the hour)

Original poster
MrsTawdry · 07/03/2015 08:39

It is hard and I don't mean to come over as heartless. I suppose I'm forgetting about those early days when the baby is new and every cough sends new parents into a panic.

OP posts:
Titsalinabumsquash · 07/03/2015 08:42

All it takes is one bad experience when you've taken a child and been ignored only for them to become very unwell or for you to second guess yourself and not go in because you didn't want to waste the nhs's resources again only to have your child get very sick before you become a little more anxious and start taking them for more minor things.

As a side note, my DS2 has chicken pox, I sent him to school yesterday with 1 spot that could have been chicken pox or not but I thought he'd be fine, no other symptoms.

30 mins later I get a phone call to come and get him, he has a high fever and is covered in them BlushSad

I collect him, give him some cooling spray and calpol and he's fine all day.
He's woken up this morning sobbing, they're covering the inside of his mouth, his inner ears, all around his eyes and eye lids and his body is now more spots than not.

I'm not sure if he should see someone or not, mainly because of threads like this. SadHmm

Iforgottotellyou · 07/03/2015 08:50

I think with babies you should always go if concerned, but I do know generally robust children that go to the doctors with a cough or cold. My children have been to the doctors once or twice in their whole lives as most things are treatable at home. My daughter aged 8 lost the feeling in one side of her face and her face had dropped overnight. I broke down in tears on the phone to the receptionist the next morning as she wouldn't give me an appointment and it had been a week where I knew a particular friend had been seen for a mild cough!!!
She eventually relented when I said my daughter had never been to the doctors apart from injections so if I said she needed a doctor now then she really needed one!
Doctor sent her straight to hospital, she had bells palsy.

SomewhereIBelong · 07/03/2015 08:52

Titsalinabumsquash - The nhs choices website always has a section on "when to see the doctor" for each ailment. Tend to follow that and see a pharmacist for stuff to lessen the symptoms.

Ouchbloodyouch · 07/03/2015 08:55

tits you could call the nhs helpline as they will be able to tell you when it becomes a concern. My younger son had it as severely as yours sounds. I think I rang NHS for reassurance (was a long time ago)

TheHappinessTrap · 07/03/2015 08:57

When I and my siblings were young we never went to the doctor. I first went when I had a suspected appendix problem aged about 10, it wasn't my appendix, can't remember what it was. My parents were knowledgeable in how to look after minor, common health complaints. They were robust and excellent patents!

QueenFuri · 07/03/2015 08:58

My SIL took my niece to the Dr with chicken pox, she is a regular visitor to the DR for anything from a sniffle. I don't take mine often I didn't take DS1 when he had chicken pox he was only 6 months old, I can't actually remember the last time I took DS1 to the DR he was about 3 he is now almost 9! Last time I took DS2 was when he had impetigo and I wanted cream for it a couple of weeks ago.

HeisenbergsBlueMeth · 07/03/2015 09:04

Haven't read all the thread. I think I've taken my 6 year old to the doctors twice in his life, once when he had tonsillitis and once when he had scarlet fever

My friend (well, a neighbour I'm friendly with) is never away from the doctors. The first sign of a sniffle and they are at the doctors, and her kids have had everything I'm sure if i told her my son had a sore leg she's tell me her kids leg was so sore they were going to amputate.

She's a fucking hypochondriac

Mistigri · 07/03/2015 09:12

With young children it can be hard to tell whether there's something seriously wrong.

I thought my dd then aged 8 months had a bit of a cold (she was snotty and screaming a lot, but no fever) - until her ear drum burst and there was pus everywhere.

When DS was 18 months I chose to wait and see, and overnight he grew a huge lump on his neck and he ended up being hospitalized for a week. Turned out to be infected lymph nodes as a complication of untreated bacterial tonsillitis, but the hospital were worried about much worse things and it was traumatic for all concerned.

And my children aren't particularly subject to coughs and colds so I don't imagine our experience is unusual.

TheFirstOfHerName · 07/03/2015 09:17

Since the six week check...
DS1 (15) has been to see the GP once.
DS3 (10) has been to the practice nurse once and the GP once.
DS2 (13) and DD (10) have never been.

They are thankfully mostly healthy, so it hasn't been an issue. When there has been a problem (e.g. broken arm) then it wasn't a primary care thing. When they have needed a referral for something (e.g. paediatrician) I requested it by email. When they need a repeat prescription for something a consultant has prescribed, I request it by email.

TheFirstOfHerName · 07/03/2015 09:19

They did all have vaccinations, but it was from the nurse.

Purplepumpkins · 07/03/2015 09:20

With children you can never be to careful!! This comes from a nanny of a baby who at two weeks old was a bit fussy nothing much just a bit unsettled, She had strep b! That's meningitis! I'd rather be a paranoid pain in the butt thank you!