To think people stereotype bullying victims too much - it affects anyone, regardless how strong you think they are!

[DinoDaycare]

Apologies that this starts as a bit of a rant.... I am a successful career woman, I am viewed as confident and strong, I know this as its what people always tell me.
I have been the victim of continuous bullying for some time now from a family member. It started as emotional abuse, if I did something wrong I was stonewalled for months on end, then it moved onto emotional abuse of my children, same type of thing but followed with remarks and comments demonising me and my feelings for them (they are 8 and 10). We (DH and I) removed ourselves completely from away this person and changed our lives drastically to put distance between us, including me changing job, moving house etc. It has continued to the point of now of comments on facebook, emails to people I am working with, really, really derogatory things said and written about me. I know this sounds petty but it is so continuous it is draining. In all honesty each thing contains the smallest sand of truth but totally, totally distorted - example 1 is that 'I know I killed my baby' this translates to me suffering a number of miscarriages and blaming myself for sometime for this i.e. was it because I went running, or had bath to hot etc (I was very close to this individual at the time of this happening), other examples include my husband being violent to me... some not nice stuff. We haven't responded to any of this and have not had contact for nearly two years but I am tired of it, I am tired of people coming up to me asking/ saying things, I am tired of thinking what next. But more than anything I am tired with people thinking that it doesn't affect me, it doesn't upset me. Of course it does, I feel bullied, I feel attacked and it hurts. People think if you put on a strong face you don't get bothered by these things - you do, and I am fed up with people thinking it doesn't. It is bullying pure and simple and how strong the victim may be perceived does not change that fact.

I sympathise, it sounds awful. Have you thought about seeing a solicitor? Maybe a solicitors letter would stop it.

Thanks we've certainly considered it but worried it'd fuel the flames even further.

get the police involved. you will feel much better

Get the police involved and a restraining order in place.

It's harrassment. Contact the police. If it continues they could find themselves in a lot of trouble. Keep all evidence - take screenshots, keep emails etc.

I can sympathise with you fully. I have. until it happened to me, had an image of a bully being 'an obvious bully' i.e generally poor social skills, big, aggressive, and unable to make friends. But having been on the receiving end of bullying I know (certainly in my situation) that the bully I encountered is not like this in all respects.
I don't even like the term victim as this implies the person being bullied is a sort of helpless recipient. This was not the case with me and certainly not with you.
I think the best strategy is first of all to become aware of the fact that the bully's behaviour is abhorrent and totally unacceptable. It is easy enough to find a tiny grain of truth in most accusations. But it is only a tiny grain. So don't (as I did) beat yourself up by dwelling on the tiny grain. That's what bullies want. Next talk to a person you trust and who is a situation were the bully can affected by this person knowing. Never keep it to yourself. In my case I told my employer and my job role was changed. The bully is still there. I am not rude to her but have virtually nothing to do with her. My situation has improved dramatically but the problem and it's affects have not disappeared. She is relentless and still has a go at 'being vile'. Bullies are (in my case) quite undaunted by practically anything. But focus on what you can do to distance yourself and if necessary take legal action.
This had and still has had a dramatic affect on my life. I sort out a counsellor and I think this has been good as I can talk about things. I don't know if this helps but yes recipients of a bully's behaviour and by no means a type of person.

God, that sounds awful.

Another vote for contacting the police or at least a solicitor. I think (but do check) that you could get an official warning letter sent to them, telling them that what they are doing amounts to harassment and that they must stop. That should do the trick, but if it doesn't it makes it easier to prosecute them as there is proof that they have been warned.

Good luck!

And to answer your op: YANBU. Bullying can affect anyone. Anyone who says otherwise is just incredibly lucky never to have come up against a bully.